Archive for May, 2008

well we have lots of news, and it’s kind of all over the place. the one consistency in all of it is that we are praising GOD for all of HIS goodness.

paul’s orders have changed in the last week. don’t get too excited, we’re still going to japan, just not to misawa as we were originally told. the job that paul was going to have in misawa has been moved to bahrain. with the job being in bahrain, that set of orders was to be not accompanied meaning that paul would go alone and we would live apart from each other for 1 year while he was there. PRAISE THE LORD, someone from another squadron volunteered for that position and paul does not have to go. talk about getting perspective. paul and i have been struggling for the last 6 months about going to misawa, and here we could be dealing with him going to bahrain without us for 1 year. (on a funny note, my dad wants to find the gracious soul who volunteered for the bahrain job and send him a fruit basket. ha!) paul has been given orders to kadena, a small tropical island near okinawa, japan. the down side of this is obviously that we are still going to japan and away from our amazing families who just ache to be near jackson. the blessings keep our spirits lifted though— kadena is a climate that both paul and i are much more familiar with (8 out of 12 months of snow and gray clouds in misawa was not that appealing). i don’t know about you, but sunshine can really make my days so much better. not only that, but the job that paul will be doing (while still being non-flying orders) is on a smaller scale with a more tight-knit community. think of it being a smaller pond for paul to be a bigger fish in and stand out more in terms of job performance. we’re praying that this helps us out on the back side, when we leave kadena, and get our next set of orders. this job will also allow paul a more hands-on experience with the crews that are serving in kadena. paul is a much more “hands on” learner and is thankful to be more involved with the crews and their flying than in board rooms presenting power-point after power-point (which is what he would’ve done in misawa). kadena is a bigger base as well and there is a stronger american influence there than in misawa. this would mean that kadena will be less of a culture shock for me. sweet jackson will still get to be a ninja baby, but instead of learning to ski at 2 years old, he will be learning to surf.

in other news… i am battling breast feeding. we’re on week 5 of it and this weekend gave me that feeling of “this just isn’t right.” you know that feeling you get sometimes when things just click and you realize that something needs to change? well, i have that feeling and i’m at the point now where i’m trying to figure out what exactly “it” is that needs to change. as you know, jackson is lactose intolerant. here’s the thing though…. while i have taken dairy out of my diet for 3 weeks now, jackson’s symptoms have not improved as much as we were hoping they would. this gave me that “something just isn’t right” feeling… while i let that feeling marinate for a while, other things have cropped up… my supply seems to be so abundant that i can’t get any relief from feedings. paul took a feeding at 2 am that i had pumped for, and yet my body was still exploding this morning. the exhaustion has set in so hard for me, and while paul is so gracious in wanting to help me by taking feedings, my body won’t allow for it. so i end up breast feeding anyways because i have so much. this of course makes for the breast feeding experience to be less than an enjoyable one. jackson practically drowns himself when i do feed him, and then gets upset when he is too full and has a belly ache. it seems to be an endless cycle and for a while i actually thought that this is “just how it is,” but i’m starting to realize that it’s not. it’s not supposed to be this stressful. when this lactose intolerance thing originally came about, i thought to myself “if i’m the one with the burden of the diet, etc, then fine.” now it’s starting to be a burden for jackson and i can see that our feeding times together are just not enjoyable for him or me. he is being affected by all of this and he shouldn’t b
e. PRAISE GOD for my mother, because discussing all of this with her and getting that confirmation from someone who has “been there, done that” has helped me realize that it doesn’t have to be this way. something has to change, so i’m thinking that i will pump and feed jackson with a bottle for this week (we have his one month check up on thursday). once i talk to his doctor about this, i will either continue pumping and feeding via bottle or switch to formula. words cannot express how much i have been struggling with this. my emotions are shot because i am so wanting to do what is best for jackson…. i just don’t know what that is yet. paul has been my logic (as always), reminding me that we will always be making decisions that we think is “right” for our child, but we just don’t know until we try. i have been so on the band-wagon with “breast being best” that i’m not sure i’ve allowed myself to see what is “best” for my son…. and allowed myself to consider that “breast may not be best” for him.

on with the good news…. and really all of this is good news because it’s all a learning experience, but on a more positive note… jackson is just growing leaps and bounds. the pictures that i’m attaching are from him playing with paul and starting to coo. i keep encouraging jackson to “use your voice” because i just love the little noises he is starting to make. he is wanting to be such a big boy, lifting his head, looking around, and testing his strength. paul and i are kicking ourselves for not traveling home to atlanta for this long weekend that we had. we are learning that jackson is growing so much so quickly and we ache for our parents to be a part of watching him grow, probably as much as our parents are aching to watch him grow. i envy those of you who have your parents just 20 minutes away. you are so lucky. seeing how quickly time passes (and it just goes quicker and quicker once you have kids apparently) makes both paul and i want to have our families here and experiencing jackson all the time. before we know it, we will be off to japan and they will have to experience jackson via camera-phone. PRAISE GOD that we have our family only 5 hours away and so desiring to be near jackson. we consider ourselves blessed to have such loving parents and siblings wanting to be a part of his every day life.

alrighty, i have made this post long enough i suppose. enjoy the pictures. paul and i need to learn to post video on here. maybe that can be our memorial day project today. have a good holiday!

we’ve been working on our tummy time lately so that jackson builds up his neck muscles. he is holding his head up so well and loves to be sooooo BIG and strong like his daddy. up til now, i have been very cautious about having red around jackson. it’s not so much that he won’t be careful with jackson, but i worry about an 85 lb lab and his germs more than anything else. this week i decided it would be good to reintroduce red to jackson, and so we have begun having tummy time together. it has gone really well…. red understands how helpless jackson is and is very patient with him. i think red is getting the concept of this little noise maker that is now a part of our family… after one month, the brothers are getting use to each other and the exhaustion that comes with a new family member.

today has been such a great day for our little magoo. at the moment, he is on his second nap for the day, which is wonderful considering that up until last week he didn’t sleep at all during the daylight hours. my goal for this week is to figure out our daytime routine. as of now, jackson likes to “snack” in the morning, only feeding for about 15 minutes at a time. today he went down for a nap at 10:30 and slept for 2 hours, woke up to eat for almost 30 minutes, and then we had some play time. the pictures are from his playtime today. he is lifting his head so well and i get so excited every time he does it. i love to see jackson in action! jackson absolutely loves looking at himself in the mirror (can you blame him?) and tries to talk to himself too while gazing at his own lovely face. he just went down for an afternoon nap now, and i’ll be interested to see how long that lasts for. i’m thinking that he may be hungry sooner rather than later, but i could totally be off (which is most likely the case). i’d like to get a nap in this afternoon myself once i finish this post.

paul is home today, though he was at work at 3:30 this morning…. they were supposed to have an early flight, but he got a call as he was driving in to work during the wee-hours of the morning to say that they did not have an airplane for him to fly. nice. paul is now 0 for 4 with flights in the last week. between not having planes to fly and planes being broken for one reason or another, paul has been cancelled a lot lately…. not good for work hours, but GREAT for me!!!! i love getting phone calls from him saying that the plane is broken and he’s on his way home. of course that means that when he’s home, he’s put to work, and today that meant hanging jackson’s letters in his bedroom. jackson’s room is now complete!!!

as for me, i’m fighting a nasty cold that i somehow picked up in the last month that i’ve been hibernating in my house. the last two days that my sniffles have been really bad, we’ve tried to keep the baby away from me as much as possible except when i needed to feed him. i’ve got a little more energy today, so i’m hoping to kick this nasty bug asap and praying that i didn’t give it to my non-vaccinated son.

we had “family dinner” last night at phil and sarah’s house. while i neglected to take pictures of that event, i will say that it was really nice having a family outing that didn’t include a doctor’s visit. everyone was so pleased to see jackson and we really enjoyed getting out of the house for a while and seeing our friends. phil deploys again this week and will be gone up until sarah gives birth to their second child (a boy!) in october. please keep them in your prayers…. i know miss lily will be missing her daddy desperately. lily made sure to help paul change jackson’s diaper last night. i should’ve gotten a picture of that…. darn!

anyway, enjoy what photos i do have and stay tuned this week. i’ll let you know if i accomplish my goal. bye for now!!!

where to begin… how about with the latest accomplishment… i just took a shower!!! yes, ladies and gentlemen, i did it. i know it sounds ridiculous to those of you who are not yet parents, but those of you who are totally understand me right now. for the last few weeks, i’ve had help at the house, whether that was paul or my mom. so there was always another set of hands, if not two more sets of hands, to help with the baby when i was in need of my much loved shower-time. (i should mention how i have a brand new affinity for showers since it is my only alone time that i now have). anyway, there have been many days where i have gone without showering since we brought jackson home (be glad that i’ve been hibernating and the only one who has had to put up with my stench is my husband). today however was THE DAY. jackson is down for a nap (which is another story that i will get to in a moment), i took the baby monitor in the bathroom with me, and took a shower…. though it was the fastest shower of my life, i found a moment to shave my legs too. BONUS POINTS FOR ME!!!

ok, i’ll back track to the nap thing… incase you haven’t heard, our sweet son is apparently lactose intolerant. since i am breast feeding, this means that all of the dairy products that i had been consuming carry on to jackson when i feed him. jackson’s little belly cannot break down the proteins in the dairy that i had consumed, and he has been in a lot of pain when it comes to poop time. the only way to combat this is for me to be dairy free until his stomach “matures” (which will be hopefully by 6 months). those of you who know me know that this is NOT a treat considering how much i ADORE ice cream. the rasberry sorbet has not been cutting it, but nevertheless, it’s what jackson needs… anyway, this whole lactose intolerance thing has been completely messing with jackson not only in terms of his baby belly but the fussiness has been awful and he has not been sleeping at all during the day time, which of course means no rest for mom who is still recooping from surgery. good times all around. i had been on the phone with jackson’s pediatrician a few times in the past week or so since we got this diagnosis with all sorts of questions and wondering how to get jackson some relief. paul and i took jackson in to the doctor yesterday morning and got some good news. we should start to see improvement soon, and jackson has put weight on!! this was HUGE because if he wasn’t, i was afraid the doctor was going to suggest supplementing, which i really didn’t want to do. i am proud to say that jackson weighed in yesterday at 10 lbs 7 oz and is growing like a weed. the breast feeding will continue, since he is doing so well with it. and though my milk is what is hurting jackson right now, the dairy is making its way through my body and his and will hopefully be gone soon. i can’t tell you how much it has pained me to know that the food i was feeding my son was hurting him. in my right mind, i know it’s no fault of my own (how would i know that he would be lactose intolerant and what that would mean for us?)… but in my not-so-right mind, when i’m up with him for the millionth time with him wailing, i just wail with him because i can’t console him. but things are on the mend…. jackson took an excellent nap yesterday and is currently napping now. i’m praying that this is the turning point for baby jackson’s belly.

hmmm…. what else…. oh!!! jackson is getting used to tummy time these days. he has been lifting his head for quite some time when paul and i burp him on our shoulder. his latest accomplishment has been lifting his head and then turning it from side to side. jackson also loves to test his strength, so when paul or i hold him upright, jackson will push with his feet and we’ll pretend like he has just jumped the highest of mountains and is sooooo strong. paul and i are absolutely exhausted these days, but playing with jackson and watching him makes it all worth it.

here are some new pictures of our little magoo. oh, and if anyone has any wonderful meal ideas for a dairy free gal like myself, please share!!!

happy mother’s day to all the moms out there reading this. today’s post is my mother’s day gift to my mom. for those of you who know mom, you are probably nodding your head in agreement to the idea of me dedicating an entire post to her.
the thing about mom that has struck me the most is the fact that she just simply is. she knows how to “just be,” and more often then not, that’s what people need… it’s certainly what i need. mom doesn’t try to be someone that she’s not, she doesn’t pretend that things are ok when they’re not, and she will be the first to tell you that she doesn’t have all the answers. and sometimes, not having the answer is the perfect answer.
mom has shown me that motherhood is the most difficult yet most rewarding job. in the last 24 hours, i have been amazed at how much a person that is so small can make you cry out of exhaustion and cry out of joy.
mom is my best friend, hands down. she is proud of her children and let’s us know that not necessarily through words, but more importantly, through her actions. over the last week that she spent with paul and i at our house, helping us with jackson, i would catch her just looking at me with jackson and smiling with total satisfaction. that simple smile told me just how proud she is of me.
i am a better person because of mom, and i will most definitely be a better mother because of her. how lucky i am to learn from her example.

happy mother’s day mom! i love you.

hi there!!! we have new pictures to post. this weekend was my 27th birthday and it was certainly the BEST birthday i have ever had. i was able to celebrate with our sweet son and my family was in town for it as well. since my birthday always fell on finals week while i was in school, i hadn’t celebrated a birthday with my family since my 21st, so this was really special for me. both jackson and i were spoiled rotten with gifts and love from brian and my parents. i adored every second of having my whole family here with paul, jackson, red, and myself.

i can’t believe jackson will be 2 weeks old tomorrow. he changes every single day and i am amazed at how much both jackson and i are learning about each other. his most recent discovery has been finding his hands. jackson is enjoying putting his pointer fingers in his mouth, and just this morning, while mom was sitting with him, he clasped his hands together as if he was praying. the faces he makes are constantly changing and making all of us laugh out loud.

my brother-in-law, uncle nate, graduated from university of florida this weekend and was commissioned into the navy. needless to say, this weekend was quite eventful. some of the pictures i’m posting are from paul heading out to gainesville for graduation stuff, and some are from my family and i hanging out at home with the little man.

the first picture i must dedicate to my cousin, kim. she had her son, luke (see “the merricks” underneath my blog friends) in january. since jackson arrived, kim has been wondering where the pictures are of myself with jackson. kim has advised me to not always be behind the camera, taking all of the pictures. so kim, upon your request, i had paul take a picture of jackson and i on my birthday. ~

lastly, mom is here all week with me. brian and da left this morning to head back to atlanta. it was so great having all 3 of them here this weekend. since paul had to go back to work this morning, mom is staying and helping me with mr. magoo. certainly with her around, i will be posting more pictures this week. stay tuned!!!

ps: jackson has a tendency to fall asleep while burping…. i caught it on camera while mom was burping him this morning. what a goober he is!!!

hi again… i’ll keep this short because i have a hungry baby waiting for me. paul and i are enjoying hibernating with our sweet little man. we are taking pictures constantly of him and i thought i’d post a few for you all to enjoy.