it feels so wonderful to be home with our little porker magoo. he is doing really well at tolerating his tube feedings that i almost fear we have unleashed the beast in jackson… almost. a medical supplies van delivered the machine that dispenses jackson’s formula through the tube for him last night. (this van being in our driveway of course caused a stir amongst the neighbors who asked us if jackson was alright). paul took a couple of days leave from work to help me get established with all of jackson’s new gear at home, which is wonderful. we actually went out and ran some errands today, had a delicious snack at panera, and didn’t even worry about getting home for jackson’s next screamfest of a feeding. it’s unreal to me to know that we will be able to live a “normal” life with our son… doing things together, not having to hibernate and cry along with jackson while trying to force him to take a bottle. it’s really liberating. though jackson is 5 months old, his food refusal has caused us to live as though jackson is a 5 day old infant, with our sole existence being to provide nourishment to our child around the clock. right now, jackson LOVES his cereal and mashed fruit feedings… we do those twice a day, one in the morning, and one at his 3 pm feeding. while the machine is pumping jackson’s formula into his stomach, we spoon feed him either rice cereal or bananas. since he loves this whole spoon experience so much, the positive association of a full belly (thanks to the tube) with the fun pleasure feed should be an encouragement to him for when the tube eventually comes out. paul and i are working to figure out all of the logistics behind jackson’s feeding machine, cleaning it, etc… but all of that will come in time. bottom line… jackson is being properly fed, and man, is it ever good to be home!!! thank you for all of your prayers and continued emails of encouragement. enjoy the pics of our magoo enjoying being back home.