Monthly Archives: September 2008

mustering up patience

alright, so we met with teri this morning. the session was typical, our frustration and exhaustion is typical, and things are just plain ol’ typical. we have decided to endure the weekend… this decision has come about with a combination of grammy’s willingness to stay through the weekend per doctor’s orders so that paul and i can get a full day break tomorrow (imagine!) and teri giving me her cell should i get scared. grammy said it best a few minutes ago when she told paul and i, “teri is asking you guys to have more patience and you have none.” :) soooo…. we are mustering up a little more patience, who knows where it’s coming from, but we’ll work to make it through the weekend. grammy will be here and is kicking paul and i out of the house. what an unbelievable gift my mother is… entirely selfless and unconditionally loving to us and to our son. she will help us immensely this weekend and we will decide early next week… tube or no tube…

session update

me again. :) wanted to let everyone know that our session with teri today was good in that we got a little bit of a plan, bad in the sense that jackson barely ate… but that in itself was good because teri fed jackson directly today and so she experienced what a “typical” feeding is like for us.
we are no longer feeding jackson in our arms. he starts screaming the second that we move him into that feeding position. all of his feedings now take place with him in his car seat. we also go through a massage routine with him once placing him in the car seat. he has music playing and it is as “zen” as we can make it… lights dim… all together now, say “ommmm.” in time, setting the scene this way should help to keep jackson relaxed through the feeding. we feed him with a bowl and spoon of formula mixed with rice cereal… we feed him using a syringe… and then we eventually get around to putting the bottle in his mouth… and then all hell breaks loose and we have a “typical” feeding once again.
so all morning long, grammy and i were in therapy with jackson. he was exhausted, as we all were when we left around noon. he came home, slept for a while, and she and i have been trying to “ommm” feed him ever since. at one feeding he took 5 ounces… at another, 1 ounce.
paul will go with us tomorrow morning and get caught up on all that he missed this morning. teri mentioned the G-tube again, pending what the weekend brings.
please continue the prayers…

reality check

hi guys… gotta keep this short and sweet, as we are heading to therapy shortly. jackson had a very rough day yesterday. paul and i had meetings over on base concerning jackson’s EFMP paperwork, so it was wonderful knowing that he was being cared for at home by grammy. by 3 pm yesterday, jackson had only consumed 7 ounces. he was starving yet unwilling to eat (as usual). paul and i were both very concerned and worried that if it continued like this (through this coming weekend) we would have to readmit jackson to the hospital. mom and i fed jackson through the late night hours. jackson would sleep and since his body was so hungry, he allowed himself to eat while sleeping. we ended up getting 22 ounces in him by doing this. poor paul went to bed early so that he could leave the house at 2:30 this morning for a 3 am flight.
yesterday afternoon, i spoke with teri (jackson’s feeding therapist) on the phone, panicked and not knowing where to go from here. she is fitting in a session with us this morning, and we will also see her tomorrow. our thoughts right now are that jackson needs more sessions per week than our original plan of only 2 per week. jackson’s GI specialist told us that his recommendation is for jackson to receive “intensive therapy if not inpatient therapy.” his aversion to eating is so bad that he either needs to be hospitalized to receive 24/7 therapy with specialists or an intensive program of meeting with specialists 4 to 5 times per week. as of now, we will do the intensive program with teri and meet almost every day during the week. our other option to consider is inserting a G-tube (feeding tube) and feeding jackson this way. while jackson gets the proper amount of nutrition that he needs to grow, teri would do oral stimulation exercises with jackson so that he grasps the concept of having a full belly with positive oral stimulation (which he loves because all he has to do is play). this would happen for a few days, and then we would combine the G-tube feedings with bottle feedings. for example… we would make our normal 6 ounce bottle for jackson, if he took 3 ounces orally, we would take the remaining 3 ounces and feed that to him via the G-tube. teri has seen a lot of success with this in her 26 years of experience with food refusal babies. paul and i discussed this G-tube option back when jackson was hospitalized before but the GI specialist who was on-call that weekend would not do it. at the time, he saw the G-tube as a last ditch effort and would not approve it. (grrrr….)
so we will see teri this morning and tomorrow morning, see how our weekend with jackson goes and decide from there if we will just continue a more intensive therapy program with jackson, or give the G-tube a shot.
i know how a G-tube sounds… i am imagining all of you reading this and thinking “oh dear, are you really at that stage?” YES!!! we have been at that stage for quite some time now. paul and i wanted the tube back when we were at the hospital. i know that you guys see pictures of jackson on here and think “oh he’s a happy baby, he doesn’t look sick.” this is a deceiving disorder, my friends (as most eating/feeding disorders are). jackson looks the way he does because we feed him around the clock. the harsh reality is that jackson’s weight has plateaued. he has ceased to gain weight though his body is continuing to grow. his nutritional value is depleting because he is consuming the same number of ounces now that he did when he was 2 months old. at some point in time, this plateau is going to start to descend which would eventually make jackson a “failure to thrive” baby. this is our reality.
please continue the prayers… they are the only thing that keeps us going. :)

a weekend of outings






hi all of you thoughtful blog readers… whether you have been praying for/thinking of/whatever for jackson, we thank you once again. this has been an enjoyable weekend for us, and we haven’t had one of those in a while. paul has been challenging me to venture out of my mommy dungeon and embrace the world, even though i get scared at the possibility of having to feed jackson in public places. it’s been really good for us though. friday night, paul’s squadron had his farewell at dave & busters, which worried the both of us. taking jackson not only to a public place, but a LOUD public place with video games is sensory overload for me, let alone our (almost) 5 month old. he was a trooper though, and it certainly helped that friends had their little ones with them as well. it was a late night for jackson and he was a little off yesterday as a result. we had our first open house here and all of us had to be out for most of saturday afternoon so that our realtor could show our little bungalow. we took jackson to lunch at our favorite spot, and then went to our friend’s jamie and rob’s house so that jackson could have some play time with his friend, jago, and get a nice nap. it was an enjoyable outing that caused jackson to sleep until 8 o’clock this morning!!! i swear, our child may not eat worth a lick, but man, can he sleep!!! :) paul and i enjoyed the extra hour and a half of sleep this morning as well. once we got up we decided to continue our weekend of outings with some breakfast at panera with auntie amy and uncle steveo. :) we haven’t seen them literally in over a month because we have been so deluged with doctors visits and jackson issues. it was so WONDERFUL to sit and enjoy conversation with such dear friends of our’s that it inspired us to have “family” dinner at our house tonight. ha!!!! so with the on-set of people arriving, i’ll wrap it up… we have a big week this week with two therapy sessions with jackson’s feeding therapist on tuesday and friday mornings… grammy arrives tuesday and will be with us for the remainder of the week!!! paul and i are ALWAYS so appreciative of her help with jackson, with house-work, with groceries, with EVERYTHING. should be an interesting week… we don’t have any change in jackson’s feedings…. yet…. but i am hopeful. our sessions this week will hopefully have us turning a corner soon. thanks for the encouraging emails and phone calls. keep ‘em comin’!!!! :)

the silliest magoo



today is a tiring day so far, and it’s only 9:30 in the morning. :) i think both jackson and i are so drained from yesterday’s intense appointment. but, the frustration, exhaustion, and depletion of all energy just fades away when i look at the sweet face of our silliest little magoo…

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