mom sent me an article from the ajc the other day, and interestingly enough, it came on the day that i posted about marriage vs motherhood. this article was (i thought) touching on some similar aspects, but after doing some research on the author of this piece, i find myself with more questions pertaining to my original… which is more difficult, being married or being a parent?
i would love to find a link to this article that i have, but i can’t find it in the archives as i have no date for the paper in which it appeared. i’ll work on it though, because i think it would be interesting for you to see.
the title of the article is “how to raise a well-adjusted child.” i must admit (sorry mom) that i scoffed when i first read the title, and thought to myself, “well who on earth is ‘well-adjusted’ anyway?!” as i started to read the beginning of the article (basically laid out with bullet-points of advice), it dawned on me that this could pertain to the post from a few days ago. in point number one, rosemond writes, “if you are married with children, put your marriage first.” stop right there. before even continuing to read the rest of that first bullet point, i was sold. rosemond continued, “your relationship with your spouse should be considerably more active than your relationship with your children.” hmmm… maybe i’m not sold. then he says, “you should pay more attention to your spouse, talk more to your spouse, do more for your spouse and spend more time with your spouse than you pay, talk, do and spend with your kids.” woah now! here’s my beef— i take issue with anyone who uses the world “should” as often as this guy does. what one person “should” do is not necessarily what another “should” do, but that’s just me.
the remainder of rosemond’s article is pretty similar as the opening that i shared, with him describing how parenting “should” be if you are a single parent, parenting a toddler, and finally ending with how leadership “should” be “a simple matter of acting like you (a) know what you’re doing, (b) know where you’re going, (c) know what you want and (d) know you are going to get it. riiiiight… if you are a parent who can truly succeed at (a) thru (d) please email me and let me know how you do it because i sure as hell can’t.
here’s my favorite part about my encounter with rosemond’s article… (mom- don’t kill me for this.) the note that mom sent paul and i with the article attached said this… “hopefully this will assist you two in some parenting techniques so that you can be more successful at it than we have been.” bless my mom. if she only knew what an incredible example she and my dad have been for me as a parent… maybe then she wouldn’t have sent me this bogus article. ha!