Archive for March, 2009

jackson helped out with the spring cleaning today.

“dancing baby day” is every other thursday at our local library. it consists of precious ones of all ages gathering in a room with their parents and wiggling around with a crazy lady who sings kid songs and blows bubbles.

after participating in “dancing baby day” a few times now, it’s come to my attention that our little magoo may possibly enjoy the process getting dressed in his most stylish duds more than the social interaction itself. thus, a photo session ensued…

and then he was ready to go.

ps- jackson’s t-shirt was found on the “clearance” rack at target for $2.95 (with discount and coupon). the real reason i bought it was not because of the slashed price, but rather that it was found in the “infant boys attitude tees” shirt section.

i’m struggling with this blog shit. and today it is shit for me because i’m frustrated and tired and without something interesting to write about. and though i hate to be so “bleh” about it, i am.

FEEL FREE NOT TO READ ON…

jackson puked last night. which sucks. i honestly felt my heart sink when it happened and thought to myself, “ah shit.” i don’t know if it was a fluke. i don’t know if he’s picked up a bug from traveling for a few days. i just know that he’s not feeling good, because he “tells” me that by puking.

he kept his bottle down this morning, which is good, but wasn’t really interested in eating much else, which is not good. he’s sleeping a lot, which one would think would be a nice break for me, but in the back of my mind it’s a red flag that says, “jackson’s not feeling good. PAY ATTENTION!”

aside from the occasionally puking magoo, i have this blog. this “other baby” that i am trying to nurture and raise (more or less) and it’s really frustrating me right now.

i want this blog to “go somewhere” and “be something” but i’m not sure what that “something” is yet… or not sure how to go about getting there. i’m just plain old not sure. and i don’t like not being sure. it’s scary.

this call that i had yesterday from johns hopkins ended up making me feel like i had been dooped. i started receiving emails from their communications department a few weeks ago, expressing interest in our story, our blog, our son. i was stoked. didn’t want to be too stoked, but c’mon, when you put something out there like this and get a response, you get stoked.

so i spoke with this woman yesterday, finally making human contact regarding our story and what we can do with it to help others… or so i thought. basically what they want is to consult with me and two other families (who have done something similar to what i have done) on blogging.

WHUT?!

instead of asking me about jackson and his current status, (ill. not ill. puking. not puking.) she asked me about my friggin blog design. she wanted to know how my blog started and where i’m going with it.

I DON’T KNOW LADY!

and then she wanted to know if i would consider consulting with them on a hopkins blog, which (in her defense) could potentially be a good thing. if this is a project that links parents together as a support system/community, then cool, sign me up. if this is just a bullshit way of expressing interest in my child in order to get me to “create” a blog for you, then leave me alone. i have a sometimes-puking child to take care of.

which brings me back to my original point, i don’t know what i’m doing with this. i don’t know where this is going or where i want it to go.

I WANT TO CONNECT.

I WANT TO HAVE A VOICE. and yes, it would be nice if that voice were heard.

but i don’t want to be messed with, especially when it comes to my son.

it’s 3:12 pm and once again, i have hit my wall. this happens every day. same time. day in. day out. “the afternoon lull,” as some people call it. and for me, it means that i am in dire need of caffeine.

at first i thought it was an addiction. something that i should consider kicking the habit of, or giving up for lent. but when paul and i discussed what we were going to give up for lent, he told me, “for the sake of all of us, i don’t think you should give up coffee.”

it should be noted that paul and i each chose something to “give up” for lent and have since given up on giving up those things.

starbucks has been good to me. and i’m a fan. my triple grande, nonfat, no whip, white chocolate mocha is a tasty treat that i always have to fall back on. they’re even expanding their repetoire with new breakfast items. but i am finding the charm of local coffee houses and eateries here in good ol’ nap-town, and in doing so, i have stumbled upon bb bistro here in west annapolis.

being that paul is in the navy, and the navy dictates where we live, paul and i have made it a point to really scope out all areas of a new city before committing to a desired location. when we were in jacksonville, this meant contacting old navy friends to inquire about surrounding areas, and eventually settling in to a quaint historic district within jacksonville.

ah, riverside… the hippies, the homeless, the parks, the bars, the folio. and of course, the coffee. cool moose cafe made my life during jackson’s first few months. back then, it wasn’t a 3 o’clock wall that i would hit each day. the wall was in my face all day long and unrelenting.

needless to say, i have been in search here in annapolis. in search of a place to call my own as i wander about in “no (wo)man’s land,” still unaware of my surroundings and looking for a good cup of joe (possibly a scrumptious snack to go with), i find bb bistro. a shiny beacon of hope, reviving me to get through the rest of my day, one iced vanilla latte at a time.

gotta throw jackson in the stroller and run… they close at 4.

i think paul missed his “little man.” red… not so much.

jackson and i spent the last 4 days in atlanta at my folk’s, enjoying the warmer weather, the extra sets of arms, and some much needed visits.

our plane ride to atlanta was terrific… the flight was only 1/2 full, so jackson and i sprawled ourselves on an entire row and slept when we weren’t playing with the plastic delta cups. friday’s flight back to annapolis, however, was an entirely different story. after experiencing yesterday’s flight home with jackson, i have concluded that we never would’ve survived the 12-14 hour flight to japan had the navy moved us there.

i knew my child was capable of screaming to the point of making me want to pass out, but there were people on the plane with us yesterday who looked at me as though they were saying, “please, just throw him off.” and quite honestly, i thought about it.

the pressure-changing-ear-issue was not his beef. jackson’s flown before and never had a problem with take off or landing, nor did he on the flight to atlanta. i think i just scheduled the return flight during a shitty time of day for him, and he was straight up worn out. jackson had himself worked into such a frenzy of exhaustion that he couldn’t calm down. i couldn’t calm him down. the sweet women (yes, plural) next to me who took him, so i could go cry in the bathroom, couldn’t calm him down.

needless to say, once we arrived in the baltimore airport and met paul, i handed him our child and told him how much i couldn’t wait to get home and have a beer.

the trip itself was fabulous! that goes without saying. the flight home aged me about 25 years though.

jackson and i head to atlanta tomorrow to seek solace at my parent’s house for a few days. i am “that homesick college kid” in need of TLC… except i’m not in college, nor am i kid. i have a kid. does that count? regardless, i think goldfish may be what gets jackson and i through the plane ride. i think…