i have been purposely delaying this post, putting it off and busying myself with other tasks, other writings, cute videos of jackson… not wanting to “go there,” and yet here i am.

jackson had his 1 year check up last friday, and i’m now just posting about it. he had his vaccines, his “wellness” exam, met his milestones… and was weighed.

current magoo weight: 21.2 lbs.
current magoo height: 31 and 1/4 in.
current magoo head circ: 48 cm.

percentile-wise, he’s ok… his friggin meat-head (thanks to paul) is in the 95th percentile. his height is in the 85th… his weight is in the 30th… and that’s when i hang my head and let out a low, groveling sigh.

for the last 3 months, we have intentionally not weighed jackson. paul and i worked hard to remove ourselves from the mentality that we were in for so long, of tracking everything, recording everything, monitoring everything. so we just didn’t do it. each month, of the last three, would pass and we wouldn’t do it. at his 9 month check-up, jackson weighed 19 and 3/4 lbs. and here we are 3 full months later…

it’s not so much that i’m discouraged right now. i’ve been there and done that. it’s just that i would almost rather not know. ya know?

i see my son every day. i see how successful his feedings are now. i see him eat spaghetti and chicken and sweet potatoes and chips and salsa… drink from a cup with a straw… and do absolutely anything for goldfish. and on top of that, he still takes 4 bottles a day with 6 oz of formula. he’s eating more now than he ever has.

and we’re “supposed to” start weaning jackson from the bottle because now he’s 1 year old.

yeah, right! like that’s goina happen! are you kidding me?! i just got him to friggin start taking a bottle! i don’t care if he’s 30-something, getting married, and his bride walks down the aisle to him and he has a ring in one hand and a baby bottle in the other… i’m NOT taking that away right now. suck it, doctors!

i digress…

to think of the days i spent on the computer and phone simultaneously, searching for pediatric feeding programs, filing paperwork with the navy, begging, pleading, and forcing our son to eat… i see that we have come so far.

but damnit, i hate knowing the weight… the number… the truth.

so i justify things to myself in my head. i tell myself “he’s really active and just can’t keep weight on.” which is true (?) he is all over the place, especially now that he’s walking. he can’t sit still to save his own life. paul and i can barely get him to stay in his highchair long enough to take a full meal before he’s squealing to get out and go play.

i mean, hell, i’ve lost weight just trying to keep up with him. (BONUS!)

we’re not worried… we’re not. i’m just updating everyone because people ask. you guys have gone through this with us as you have read our blog. you have been with us at the hospital. both times. you have been with us at jackson’s feeding therapy sessions. and you have been with us when we have been at our wits end.

and so the journey continues… we have a healthy, happy baby boy. long and lean. he rocks my world, and everything in it.

***i debated whether or not to turn off the ability for you guys to comment on this post, just because i don’t want the “oh, he’s fine, my child weighs bla bla bla….” type of stuff. but whatthehell… bring it on!***

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