women are the stronger sex
fact. and male readers out there, i don’t write this because i’m a man-hating feminist (though i am a feminist). i write this because it’s true.
my blog. my post. my truth. ya don’t like it, don’t read it.
this truth is becoming more and more apparent to me by the minute. literally, the minute. i see men unable to multi-task, make decisions, take care of their health, take care of their families… and then i see women carting babies, toddlers and groceries up three flights of stairs while on their cell phone, hosting a conference call. i see men who are unwilling to fight for what they want… because they don’t know what they want. and i see women fighting to the death for what matters to them because they see it, they know it, and they go after it. i see men sitting on couches. i see women running towards the goal line. i see men going through the motions. i see women creating motion.
and in defense to those men who have shown me they are true MEN, hats off to you. i’m not speaking to you directly. but i am speaking to the ones who aren’t living up to the title of being “a man.” and for that, you other MEN should be telling the boys to buck the fuck up.
(sorry mom and dad, i know i shouldn’t drop the f-bomb, but it fits at the moment).
which brings me back to my original point that women are the stronger sex. we support one another. we disagree with one another. we engage with one another. we share with one another. good, bad, ugly… it’s all out there with women.
and i see men hiding right now. i see men cowering for whatever reason, for a multitude of reasons… and i see weakness in those men.
for centuries women have worked, fought, birthed, raised, created, trusted, built, loved, lost, supported, disagreed, lived, both happily and unhappily…
when you birth a child, you are still a woman. in fact, you are (in my opinion) even more of a woman because your body has fulfilled its purpose in creating, housing, and birthing another life. you don’t just become a mom… you become a new kind of woman. a woman with a new role to take on and conquer…
while continuing to do everything we were doing before we birthed said child.
i know some amazing MEN out there. i really do. and i applaud them because they humble themselves while still owning their manhood. and that’s desirable, attractive, hot. ownership with humility is hot.
and women… i write this to us because i’m just in the mood to lift us up and honor all that we do. all of it.
what we do, and what we want to do, and what we just can’t get done because there aren’t enough hours in the day.
we are the stronger sex because we fight. we fight for ourselves, we fight for each other, we fight for our children.
who’s fighting for us?
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This gave me the chills. Makes me want to run around the apartment screaming, “I am woman, hear me roar.” Except the whole women-in-motion part reminds me that, because I’m a woman in motion, I’m actually going to buckle down and finish the story I’m slogging through. Thanks — in so many ways — for the much-needed dose of girl power.
So, what brought this on?
Are you “wearing the pants” in your family more than you want to lately? Are your friends not feeling supported by their mates? Are gender roles in general shifting too far from the traditional?
I’m not necessarily defending men – I’m the first to say I’m not “men.” I’m one man, not a representative of my sex. And there are certainly some deadbeats out there. But I can’t tell from your post what prompted your outrage. Who is it that needs to “man up”?
many need to “man up” because i’m witnessing too many who aren’t. not one in particular. it’s this hovering cloud that i don’t like seeing.
it’s not necessarily a “gender role” shift, like you mention, taking place in my home that has brought this on.
it’s almost like when you see too many bad things in the news and you just need to say, “damnit, let’s work on this” to bring about some good.
I know that I’m a lucky woman in that the men in my life are, with rare exception, MEN. Strong and loyal, compassionate and considerate, masculine and saddled with an awesome sense of humor, willing to help and to change and to lead the charge, etc.
And maybe that’s what the problem is, that I can’t possibly completely understand this because I don’t really know any different (and I don’t watch the news, I read the papers, so again, a slightly different slant), but as it stands I just don’t 100% agree with this post.
I think that men and women are equally strong, though, and that strength is a characteristic that manifests itself individually, not based on gender or sex. Sometimes I wonder who fights for women and for that which many women, maybe the majority of women, value.
It’s just that sometimes I also wonder who fights for men and for that which many men, maybe the majority of men, value too.
We all need advocates, not just those of us with a vagina or those of us who have a baby.
awesome sarah! thanks for the input.
First off, I LOVE men! But, if I get divorced, I am going gay for this exact reason. So thanks for the post. I smiled the whole way through.
We are just different creatures. I think both sexes were put here on this fine earth to procreate and then go back to our kind.
I recently went to a seminar that kind of explained why men are “men” and that their minds are WAY simpler then ours.
Here is my example: Sometimes my husband gets home from work before I do and calls to ask me what’s for dinner. Instant reaction: “your ass is home before mine you figure it out”. My mind (along with most women’s)goes about 100MPH, in that split second that he asked that horrible question, my mind went through everything in the fridge & cupboard, whether or not the dishwasher had been emptied, the table wiped down, if the floor was mopped, if the counter was clean, and now I am already exhausted just thinking about dinner and am pissed that he couldn’t have just taken it upon himself to make some pasta and thrown some sauce on top…
(Simple) Man mind: hungry. need to eat. call wife see if she has plans for dinner
But for the record I do think “women are the stronger sex”, and thats how come we can deal with life,and our men everyday…and usually with a smile on our face. So go ahead and run around yelling “I am woman, hear me roar” you (we)deserve it!
wow! all of your comments are so valued and i so appreciate your candor. sarah- your comment in particular encourages me and keeps me remembering there are good, strong, MEN out there… because i know there are… right now, i’m having difficulty finding them.
danielle- such brilliance in what you say, because i too believe that procreation aside, women could survive quite well and easily without the male gender.
keep the conversation going… i love hearing all views about this very topic.
I had to laugh at this post because I do think it’s so true.
Just ask any woman who’s husband has a cold. The moment they have the sniffles, the world stops and you would think they’re on deaths doorstep. Women, on the other hand – doesn’t matter how sick we are. We keep going and still make dinner, take care of the kids, and get the laundry done without whining about how we’re going to pass out at any moment.
Yeah I admit I am a bad sick person, but that ends there…
I am an At Home Dad with 3 boys and am running around in 5 different directions each day. I multitask, carry toddles, shop, cook, clean, use power tools, cut grass… I know there is a small group of us out there…:P
On the flip side I know too many Dads that are absent parents. Unfortunately it happens and more need to step up and be Fathers…
Great Post… (Just Does Not Fit Me) LOL
Todd
AKA – A Man Among Mommies…
todd- THANK YOU for posting!!! it is so appreciated and so needed to be heard. i really appreciate it.
it’s funny how things work out. when my bf and i met, he was a very single and very independent person. now that we are together, he counts on me to make his lunch for work, cook dinner every night, take care of the laundry…blah blah blah. sound familiar? lol
but you know what i think? i think we women just plain take over. we know what has to be done, we do it, and we don’t complain. we mother, we nurture, and we really DO do 10x more than men at any given moment. what makes me laugh is a sick guy. ill man=deathbed. ill woman=let’s get the hell on with it and hurry up with this whole being sick nonsense b/c i have WORK TO DO…and oh yeah, i’m still doing it.
BUT…i have to admit that my guy (while more emotional than me….i know, weird) keeps me grounded. he has a work ethic reminiscent of an old coal miner (has never EVER called off work. only came home early 2 times to take care of me cuz i asked him to), and he really is a provider. he brings home most of the dough, takes the garbage out, does all the guy chores (yes, i believe in guy v girl chores), and LET’S me take care of him. cuz really, he doesn’t have to let me do everything that i do.
and best of all….he says thank you.
Well. Now I understand your comment on Out-Numbered. You see the thing is that we like being lame. We embrace being lazy. Before our wives came along, we were able to cook our own food, clean our own apartments, follow directions, read a map, socialize like human beings, laugh, act silly, dress ourselves and do a whole slew of things. Back then, nobody told us we were wrong or called us idiots. We just got shit done and you know what? It worked! We survived! You know what else? You found us, picked us out from the crowd and married us because you liked how we acted. How quickly one forgets. But now, everything we do is completely and utterly fucked up. Not because it’s wrong but because it’s not how YOU do it. So like a dog that is kicked one too many times, we just stop doing it. It’s much easier to get yelled at for not doing anything than it is to drag our fat asses off the couch and waste our time only to be told it’s not good enough. That’s my rant. Now… lets talk about how HOT chicks are when they get all pissed off. All this talk about chicks going gay etc… is making me crazy. Great post sista! I still love your blog…
I hear yeah girl! You know how things go in my house. If it wasn’t for me not sure what would happen!!! Had a great time yesterday. Hugs and Kisses
This post is ridiculous. Quit being so angry.
Men like women for being WOMEN…….. If they wanted a man, they’d marry one.
Be a real woman and stop trying to act like a man.
It’s very un-ladylike….
You should hear this Lesbian friend of mine when she talks about women, married women, or those who were and turned gay. I am not, by the way.
Well, in her eyes all married women become totally dependent. They forget how to exchange a light bulb, they sometimes even forget how to drive a car. And all because their hubby spoils them with much too much – she says. Somebody here would call them guy chores, such as taking out the rubbish.
Your man will do just as much as he was programmed for, by you. When you married him.
I told my man, I wouldn’t marry him because I didn’t want to cook every day. That was a deal for 25 years, until the day he died. And you know what? He was a typical miserable man when he had a cold. When he had a deadly cancer, he never ever complained, once.
Wow… Excellent blog. I like when people go all the way; no holding back. I often find myself thinking the same thing,(that women are the stronger sex), and as a matter of fact, my son’s teacher commented to me yesterday that I do all that I do (school, work, kids, class mom.. etc) BECAUSE I’m a woman and that’s what we do. The other day, I was running around doing everything as usual, and my husband asked me to fill out a deposit slip for the bank. After my initial, WTF??? reaction, I decided to finally just tell him, (instead of stopping to actually do it FOR him as I would usually do) “write the ck #, the amount and the date!” Come ON, now! Thanks for the great read….
tozcal2009- thank you for your comment… not sure how to respond because of your beautiful candor that quite honestly leaves me speechless, but i too have consulted lesbian friends on this very topic.
i appreciate your comment and hope to see you here again.
cheers!
I guess we all need to be all that we can be whatever the gender.
I found this through Ournumbered and this is a great, great post!!! I loved what you said and agree that some men are kind of disappearing. My own daughters, who are 27 and 30 tell me that they can’t find anyone like their father out there.:) He and I have been married for 43 years and oh, yes, he is a real pain sometimes. Now that he is older and has diabetes and has undergone heart by pass surgery, he is different than when I married him. He’ll come home and start barking out orders for everyone. I think we spoiled him too much when he was weaker and now he just expects it even though he goes to work every day no matter what.
I had to laugh from shnazzymom’s post, because that is exactly what has happened to me so many times. I think it all depends on my frame of mind whether or not I will just say at that moment: “Open a can of soup and there’s tuna fish.” Then I’ll go out to dinner with my girls. It’s always a tightrope being a woman. You never know when something is going to come along and push you right over the edge. You just go along each day walking this fine line between each person in your family. It’s exhausting, but we are tough. Because at the end of the day it’s only you and if you aren’t happy then the rest of your family tends to be unhappy too.:) I’ve had lots of practice with this and I do agree that women are a much stronger group on the whole than men, but it’s important for men to be stronger at times so we can feel someone cares for us.
Sorry to run on like this, but you’ve hit on a very explosive topic and I’m going to link people from my blog back to yours. So glad I found you!!!
Barbara
Barbara’s Meanderings
http://barbaraehrentreu.blogspot.com
Thank you. It’s something I’ve argued for years with men. Case in point: my great-grandmother and one of her sisters (great-great aunt!) both had their masters degrees, one of which being from Columbia U in NYC. My great-grandmother became a principal of an elementary school. During the Depression after husband died, she raised 3 independent, intelligent girls who all got married and had careers. What did the men do? They sat around wondering what to do. These men were smart in their own right but these women were strong. Much stronger than them and it deep down it probably scared them a bit.
I’m married to man who has gone through a lot and I’m surprised at his resilience. There are strong men out there. You just have to search for them.
marcy and barbara- thank you so much for your candor. it is so appreciated and i’m so thrilled that you found my blog and are participating in what i feel is a necessary conversation.
thank you for your inputs!
cheers!
Where you see men sitting on couches and men going through the motions, I see (sing with me) trees of green, red roses too, I see them bloom for me and you. And think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Sorry I am still new to blogging and commenting. I wanted to edit my post but the only option was to delete. Anyhow wonderfully posted. I ran across many [with a capital L] Losers but also many very good men before finding my husband.
It is certainly not easy to find a good honest hard working goal attaining multi-tasking man. Luckily for my 3 boys they have an excellent roll model and my girls will know what to look for in a man.
I must add though that men are much smarter than lots of women give them credit for. I personally understand why some would prefer to sit on their ass. Why in the hell would they want to do anything productive if they have wives that nag nag nag about how it should have been done, or how it could be done better.
My husband is a brave soul so I can only speak from my experience but in many areas of the parenting category he puts me to shame. He can take all 5 out to the grocery store and get ALL of the groceries in one trip so I can get caught up on my sleep or work.
I honestly feel like perhaps if wives were a bit more supportive and less judgmental of their spouses they might chip in way more. I for one know we would likely starve or live off PB & J’s if it were not for my husband.
Men are a sneaky sneaky sex. They make ya think they cannot do it right so you end up doing it…eh eh not me. I know how to let some of my “responsibilities” fall into the hands of my husband to handle.
So I got to this page via the Out-Numbered page and I must say I have to agree with him. Many times women with their whole “women are stronger than the dumb men” rants turn off men who are actually REAL men. I for one consider myself to be a REAL man. I am a happily married father of five who runs a business from home with my wife. I do all of the cooking and the majority of dealing with the children. I think if you come looking for a REAL man with the mindset that all men are a certain way you are already setting yourself up for failure. Clearly there are plenty of lazy lame ass men who don’t have any initiative but don’t generalize all men for the mistakes or short comings of a certain group. By the way for women who are looking for a good man, you probably scared him off with your women are stronger than men rnats! Just think about it!
Amen, sistah!
If you were my wife you would get beat down for writing this–get back in the kitchen and get me a beer already. Stop whining.
amazing… so you, “wife beater” would resort to BOTH verbal and physical abuse. thank you for restoring my faith in men.
(and yes, to those male readers i have, i do realize that i can’t judge the whole from it’s parts… and not all men are as disgusting as this one.)
freedom of speech is a beautiful thing….
Wow Wife Beater, look at you typing on the ‘puter. Good boy, good boy.
Those computer literacy classes in prison are really paying off!
I always find it interesting that some people have nothing better to do than go around making comments that they *think* will upset people. While this nobody is sniggering at home w/ his buddies, we continue to laugh at his attempts in other mediums.
Like a child throwing a temper tantrum, just ignore it.
Wow! With idiots like wife beater posting crap like that, which by the way he would probably never say to a woman in person,it is no wonder women feel the way they do about men. Hopefully he will do everyone a favor and disappear!lol
michael- THANK YOU! on many accounts, and speaking for (i assume) many women, THANK YOU!
cheers,
nic