Hey girl – great topic to open up. It’s amazing how many of have grappled with this. I am one of those people who was anti-medication of any kind, mainly because my mother was of that mind and drilled it into us – suffer but do not take anything – it’s not good for you scenario.

However, after my first baby was born, I was diagnosed with PPD when she was five months old. I waited two long months before i accepted that I needed an anti-depressant because I didn’t want to wean her from breastfeeding. Ends up, starting the medication was the best thing for both her and me. I was a MUCH better mother after that in that I could sleep, not feel so overwhelmed and just all round felt SO MUCH better.

I stopped it after about 18 months and with my second pregnancy, it came back. (the depression). Some of it was because I was on bedrest for 18 weeks (yes, you heard me right!) but mainly I think it was hormonal with me and probably genetic. I was started on a med that was OK for pregnancy, but it was really stressful and didn’t help that much.

I felt GREAT after my son’s birth and then was hit hard when he was 9 months old with SEVERE post-partum and anxiety attacks that were so bad I thought I was dying! Again, I had to wean him and start back on anti-depressants and also something to help me sleep because I literally was insomniac for three months. Thank God, I did not listen to my pride, because I am genetically disposed to this post-partum and it got me through a very tough time.

I would say that if you are feeling that overwhelmed like you described, you should definitely discuss it with your doctor. If you know your “normal” and this is not it, you’d be amazed at how getting medication might help and might not have to be forever. Remember too that your hormones are still settling from the whole pregnancy and birth thing. Add to that motherhood demands, especially of a busy toddler, and you have every reason to get help before you start to feel too bad.

I am not an advocate for any drugs, but just know that in my situation it was not something I could cope with or help, it was my body adjusting to the whole physical part of hormonal shifts. It’s much more common than you think. I had no family near either and you need to get plenty of support and understanding from your husband if that is the case for you.

OK, enough rambling, I have been down that road and would suggest you open up to your doc. You are doing the most important job in the world and if you need help to get you feeling good, then do it!
Just my two cents worth. Sorry it’s long!
Tricia

Wow!! What a great topic of conversation! This is a discussion I continue to have with people on a frequent basis. (I guess that is what Professional Counselors do! haha)

To drug or not to drug? That is the question!

I have always had an issue with anxiety and learning how to cope with it in a positive and healthy manner. I did not have a serious issue with dealing with depression until after I had Elisabeth Grace and went through a year of working at horrendous job. I went through a year of talk therapy before my therapist & I decided that I needed to be on medication. It definitely helped me put into action some of the “coping skills” I already knew!

Although I do not recommend immediately jumping into medications it does ultimately help if your anxiety is unmanageable on its own and you are having anxiety/panic attacks. Having some anxiety is normal & healthy but when it gets out of control and you cannot manage your life, you definitely need some sort of help! I also recommend, if you can afford it or if your insurance pays for it, talk therapy. It always helps to have a neutral, and professional, person to hear the issues you are having. Medications do help “take the edge off” some of the symptoms that may be occurring but they do not fix any situation. That is why I highly recommend a combination of both talk & meds. Both treatments will help you think more clearly and deal with the major issues at hand in a more positive manner and in turn help you deal better with things going on in your everyday life. That is both my personal and professional experience. Hope this sheds some additional light onto this important topic!! No one should ever feel ashamed to ask for professional help when it is needed if it will improve your everyday life!

Ciao,
Blair

I didn’t mean for my input to be directed at you!! Sorry if it sounded like it…I was just giving my input into the meds vs. normal coping discussion…

Hey girlfriend – you probably know quite a bit of my story, but I’ll recap for others here.

About 9-10 yrs ago, I had a horrible episode which required a trip to the er, ultimately ending in a diagnosis of untreated hypothyroidism. My blood pressure, blood sugar and pulse dropped so low, it was like a diabetic coma. Ok not QUITE that severe, but I was unable to talk, walk, swallow, etc.

Anyways, within a year of that episode, I began to have issues of anxiety. Feeling nervous about going out to the store, tense in the shoulders when I had to wait in line…things of that nature. I studied and got one of my BA’s in psychology, so I knew how to handle these episodes: breathe, relax, and understand that my anxiety was unfounded. While I knew all of this, and physically made myself deal with it, my brain chemistry continued to get worse. I began avoiding the grocery store, the bank, the movie theater.

OH the movie theater…I don’t know that I can EVER step foot in one again. I had such a sever anxiety attack, I passed out on my way up the aisle while rushing out, and collapsed on the floor. I was horrified to wake up with the lights on and people staring at me.

These little things only compounded my anxiety, and after it growing for years, I finally realized that I needed help. I NEVER EVER wanted to go on meds. I KNEW that I would never need them, and I was almost too stubborn to take them. Why? Because my (estranged) mother is bipolar and really effed with my childhood b/c of her untreated mental illness. I promised myself that I would be as unlike her as one possibly could, which would ultimately mean that I was normal. Well, I had to eventually face those fears and go see a doctor about my anxiety b/c my entire quality of life had been compromised.

I wouldn’t go out of my apt. if people were around to see me. I couldn’t wait in ANY line (at a store) w/ out feeling like I would pass out again or throw up. And I felt that if I passed out, I would surely die. So, before I went out to do ANYTHING, I would have a drink or two to take the edge off. Not a good thing. And not possible when going to job interviews.

So yes, finally after 6 YEARS of trying to do it on my own, I was prescribed meds, and haven’t looked back since. I don’t have any anxiety about parenting, funny enough. But I do have diagnosed General Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder. And this is the agreed upon diagnosis of 4 different doctors that I have seen; psychologists, psychiatrists, and MDs combined.

Needless to say, as the past few years have gone on, my levels of medication have increased to the highest doses possible, at which time I have to get a supplement and then switch to another drug. Right now I am on 200 mg Zoloft, 1 mg Klonapin twice daily, and have Ambien for my constant insomnia.

I never thought I would be so reliant upon medication, but I know what it is like to live w/out them, and that is a future I don’t think that I can face. I know w/o a doubt that if I were not on medication, I would not have my child, job, friends, or health. I’d probably have a very damaged liver and cobwebs in my hair. lol

I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that I cannot “work through”, and I have made my peace with this. As others have commented, “if I was diabetic, I would be taking insulin.” Same difference. =)

This was a great idea, my dear. I highly recommend the meds if you need them. I’ve only “partially” needed them, and my experience has been a bit of a rollercoaster. I feel either undermedicated or overmedicated, and finding a balance has been difficult. I wrote about it not long ago:

http://notsosmallthings.blogspot.com/2009/05/druuuugz.html

while i don’t suffer from anxiety, stress, depression i can see a need for medication for some people. my dad and both in-laws take depression meds, but do not visit a therapist often. in fact, my in-laws go once a year just for the script. on the other hand, my husband has a therapist that he sees on a regular basis & doesn’t take medication. different things work for different people, but i do think a lack of tackling ones issues can be a cop out. medication in conjunction with therapy should be the rule, not the exception. no matter what, if someone is feeling overwhelmed i think they should seek out help from someone who is willing to help them.

*i’m not being snarky, i’ve just seen medication being used & abused & this is where i am today with my views on this particular topic. it may change.

**and when i say therapy/therapist i mean counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist, pastor, rabbi, whatever, etc.

I personally am not ‘anti-medication’ in general. I believe that if a person needs the medication – is struggling with coping/managing and having problems in their day to day life due to anxiety/depression, then by all means, get some relief!

For my husband and I, we prefer to try all alternative routes before turning to medication. We are glad that it’s there, in the event that we may someday NEED it (eventually, he probably will.. being Bipolar), but for now, we’re both managing in other ways – talking through things that we’re struggling with, leaning on each other for support, changing our diet, increasing exercise, and other such things.

So yes, I think that if a person needs medication, then they should have it. But I think that there are many other things people can try before turning to mind altering drugs that can be beneficial in more ways than just alleviating mental strain and illness. It just depends on the situation.

This is going to be long and rambling because my mind is all scrambled and shit. Just a warning.
I have always had issues with anxiety. I know that now. I can look back and see how it see how it has effected my life negatively and positively. Yes I said positively. I think my anxiety helps me read people easier. I am more aware of what is around me. I do over analyze to the point of insanity, but somewhere in there is a sane idea that helps.
Negatively I look back and see anxiety was the reason I couldn’t hold a job down for more then a couple of years, the reason my self-confidence was low and probably the reason I have and had a hard time relating to people. I was always afraid, scared, tired, anxious of the unknown.
Right now I am dealing with the negative effects of anti-anxiety meds. I have tremors and am grinding my teeth at night to the point of parts of my teeth coming off. There is no magic pill and some work for one person but not for others. I haven’t found my one. I could give up and say this isn’t worth it but I know I can’t go on living like I was living. Dedicating yourself to getting better is part of the process- nothing will go away 100% the meds just allow you to (((breathe))) you gotta figure out the rest for yourself.
Anyhoo Once I had both my kids my anxiety took on a new form, it was causing me physical pain. I had arthritic like pain in my hands, I couldn’t sleep. It was bad. I couldn’t even leave my house. I turned 30 and something snapped.
I have talked to family and realize this is around the time my real mom “changed” my brother started drinking and my dad’s first divorce. Something is there in my family. It is genetic. And I can’t help it- but I can keep it form running my life.

Just noticed your question regarding anxiety and parenting.

For me? No. Anxiety can be aggravated by parenting, but as far as what causes it and what it is I’m ‘anxious about’, parenting really has very little to do with it. Obviously it is a factor, being that I am a mom of 5 kids and they are a big part of my life, but parenting and all that goes with it, does not generally give me anxiety. I have had problems with social anxiety all my life, but my kids actually made that somewhat easier to deal with. They give me an ‘out’ in social situations. As far as my PTSD, that has only really been bad in the last year or so, due to other things that happened in my life.

Depression has been an ongoing problem for me since my teens. Again.. other issues.

Wow. You are all amazing people and even more amazing for sharing your stories.

Not a parent, but not for lack of trying. I do work with high school students in a local school. While I may not understand being a parent, I do understand the anxiety that can come from working with kids.

Add to that being BiPolar. I do have experience with the med/no med question.

I have medication for use ‘as needed’. There are times that I need the meds every day for a week or more. There are other times that I will go months without needing it at all. But it’s taken me a long, very long time to get to the point where I can see the signs of anxiety taking over my life and treat before everything is overturned. But it works for me, and my doctors support this course of treatment for me.

Early on, what I needed more than meds was a safe place. A place to talk out what was going on in my life without feeling judged. A place where I could vent without having someone trying to tell me how to solve my problems. There are still times when I need that safe place more than I need meds. And a hint: I don’t get that from someone close to me. They are too invested in my life and health and happiness to hear me with an unbiased ear. They try too hard to help. The right talk therapist offered that safe, non-judgemental place and it made a world of difference for me.

Sometimes, it’s a matter of finding the right therapist. Sometimes it’s finding the right med or cocktail of meds. Sometimes it’s a combination of those two things. But the fact that you’re talking about it, is wonderful.