Monthly Archives: July 2009

wordless wednesday

well…  almost…  how about “2 word wednesday.”

HE EATS!!!

are you paying attention?  this doesn't happen often...

are you paying attention? this doesn't happen often...

brace yourself...

brace yourself...

we're goin in...

we're goin in...

nom nom nom nom....

nom nom nom nom....

sleepy time

i do weird things in my sleep.  it’s been noted on here before.  and i’m ok with it.  my sleeping issues just come with who i am.  love it or leave it.  i know that my sleepy time can sometimes cause trouble, if not induce hysterical laughter in those who witness said sleepy time.

when i was a kid, i was really sick with the flu…  i had a bad fever that wouldn’t break, and i can remember laying on the couch, 1/2 asleep and telling my mom that i was sinking into the couch.

it’s like the couch is quicksand,” i told her in a fuzzy feverish haze.

“ok, nic,” replied mom, who probably then just gave me some more tylenol and put a cold wash cloth on my head.

once i finally fell asleep though, truly asleep, i started talking to her.  and mom remembers my exact words… phrases… whatever you want to call it…

“asbusssbusssbusssas bosssbusssasssbusss.”

fast forward to nic as a teenager with anxiety issues kicking in to full gear.  it was the night before a test i had at school.  i don’t remember the subject, the test, or the teacher the test was for… because any and all tests freaked me out to the point of me blowing in and out of a paper bag, as mom drove me to school.

anyway, the night before this test, in the middle of the night…  i took a shower and got ready for school.  (i don’t remember doing this, but my mom recalls hearing my hairdryer at 3 am and coming up to my room, wondering what the hell i was doing.)  supposedly she told me to change out of my school uniform and go back to bed…  i did so with a 1/2 wet head, which made for some sexy looking bed head the next day, which every teenage girl wants to go to school with.

fast forward a few years beyond that, and you have a college-age nic with PTSD as a result of being raped.  (i promise i’m going somewhere funny with this guys, stick with me.)  at that point in time, i had been prescribed sleeping meds because obviously i was not sleeping at night.  like at all.

so one night, paul’s visiting me at auburn, shacking up for the weekend, and i tell him i’m about to take my sleeping pill and go to bed.  once i took this pill (which shall remain nameless), i got in bed, laid down, and then sat straight up.

“do you see that baby in the corner,” i asked paul.

paul said nothing in response, and i imagine looked at me like i was a freaking lunatic.

“don’t you see it?” i persisted… “the baby, in the corner.  right there.  it’s looking right at us.”

the next morning, paul told me what i did and how i freaked the hell out of him, talking about people in the room who weren’t there (“i see dead people…”)

paul has come to know and love my sleepy time shenanigans.  i mean their kinda funny sometimes…  like when i wake up with no underwear and have no idea why.

well, i have a lot going on right now, as most people do…  we lead busy lives.  i’m running this website, as well as another with a good friend, and i have side projects going on here and there…

i learned the other night, that i need to stop my writing loooong before bed time.  i had written a post for Blogher@Home about vibrators and dildos.  (my parents and in-laws are totally hanging their heads in shame as they read this, i’m sure.)  it was late at night when i wrote the post.  i was so back-logged with emails and deadlines after coming off vacay, that i wrote the post around midnight, just to get it posted… just to “git her done.”

then i went to bed.  paul had already been in bed for a while, as he has given up on me going to bed with him when he knows i’m up “working.”

the next morning, paul is feeding jackson and i wander out to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

paul: “dude… do you remember what you did last night?” (chuckling as he asks)

me: “oh shit.  no.  what’d i do this time?

paul: “you were crowding me on my side of the bed, so i pushed your shoulder and asked you to move over…” (chuckles continue) “once you moved over, you looked at me and said ‘CHECK THIS OUT BITCHES!‘”

which is exactly what i had tweeted to advertise the vibrator giveaway at Blogher@Home.

those of you who are heading to chicago this weekend for BlogHer ’09 just wish you were going to be rooming with me… yeah.  you know it’s true.

perspective

i think most everyone would agree with me that this summer (so far) has been entirely chaotic.  within the last month alone, i have been asked to participate in two amazing projects.  both of which are incredible and have led me to making some life-changing friendships.  my freelancing has come to a complete halt as i have missed so many deadlines that i cannot even remember how many i had to begin with.

oh yeah… and there is that book that i’m writing.

don’t lose faith in me dear friends…  your write-ups will come.

but this morning, while my sleepy, traveling magoo naps, i sit at my computer and think “WOW” because The Spohr’s are Multiplying.

heather is pregnant.  beautiful heather is pregnant.

i weep and smile and constantly think this…

WOW

(the above WOW video is my absolute favorite video of maddie, and it’s all that is going through my head today.)

since april, when precious maddie passed away, i have been given a different and unexpected perspective on parenting… on life.  and i’m pretty sure a lot of you readers who are parents can relate to this.  because, as i have learned since april, tragedy can strike in the blink of an eye.

i check on jackson more often during his naps.  i worry more when his naps last longer than usual.  (sometimes i even make paul go in and check because i’m scared of what i will find… to be perfectly honest.)  i take him to the ER when he falls and bumps his head.  reading heather and mike‘s story… maddie’s story… has given me perspective.  and i don’t share this candidly to make this post about me.  i write this to thank heather and mike for reminding me, reminding all of us just how precious life is…

and that perspective is good… it is needed.

that’s all i’ve got today folks…  tears of joy, and constant thoughts of WOW.

the deadlines can wait… again.

life is too precious.

congratulations heather and mike.


from 32,000 feet

i’m writing this post on Delta flight 1759, sitting in seat 24 A, next to my brother, brian (obviously seated in 24 B).  that’s right…  32,000 feet in the air, and definitely worth the $10 to obtain internet access, in my opinion.  this may perhaps be the smartest $10 purchase i make during this trip. *har har har*

and so we’re off…  from atlanta…  to miami, at which point we will board royal carribean’s majesty of the seas and spend the next 5 days island hopping through the bahamas, jet skiing, snorkeling, and enjoying a catamaran boat ride.  all of this gloriousness is in celebration of my kick-ass brother and this…

University of Georgia graduation day 2009

University of Georgia graduation day 2009

so yeah, b and i are off to the islands “yea mon,” to celebrate his overall awesomeness and completion of college.  (incase you’re wondering, he graduated with a bachelor’s degree in business administration with a concentration in risk management from the terry business school.

(anyone with full-time job opportunities for a stud like him, lemme know!)

over the next 5 days, while the magoo gets spoiled by his grandparents, b and i will island hop from nassau, to coco cay, to key west, and then back to miami on friday.  we plan to tan.  we plan to celebrate.  we plan to make memories.

and awaaaaay we go!!!!

and awaaaaay we go!!!!

(i, being magoo-less for 5 days, plan on sleeping…  A LOT, and waking up occasionally for an umbrella drink).

the magoo didn’t quite know what to think of b and i this morning…  our childlike joy…  our dancing around the kitchen…  our island accents…  and the suitcases.  he was a bit confused.

mom, why do you look happy to leave me?

mom, why do you look happy to leave me?

dudes, i’m stoked.  5 days with my bro…  just what i need…  just what i want.

life doesn’t get much better than that.

little man magoo

dear jackson,

i haven’t written you a letter since your 1st birthday.  you have kept me so unbelievably busy, my sweet boy.  your curls continue to grow and spiral in mass quantities… and they will for quite some time.  your words are brilliant.  ”dad” is by far your favorite.  and goodness are you smart.  you have found ways to speak to your dad and i so that we can actually figure out what it is that you want.

imagine that!

but this week has been major.  this week you have gone from being a baby to being a big boy.

my baby boy is but a fleeting memory.

6 days old

6 days old

today is day 4 of the cold-turkey wean from your bottle that dad and i decided to do.  and my love, my sweet stinkface, you made it!  you survived!  you have brought me through hell and back (yet again) over the last 4 days, but our breakfast date this morning showed me that you truly are a big boy now.

i’m so proud of you.

knowing that tomorrow begins a week of travel for me… time away from you, i took you on a date this morning.  just you and me.  you were still in your pjs as we walked into panera and placed our order.  a bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich with a carmel latte (skim, no whip, extra shot of espresso) for me, and a blueberry muffin for you (apple juice was in your sippy cup).

we sat together at a table and ate.  you and me.  and it was delightful.

i loved sharing a meal with you.  and i will remember it forever.  because you are my little man.  my magoo.

Join Me


Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Funding My Coffee Habit


ThisWebHost Banner

Designs By PrincessJenn

Pigtail Pals

Supporting

I'm a survivor. www.violenceunsilenced.com