should you be desiring the flavor of a turducken on thanksgiving day (that is a turkey within a duck within a chicken), i saw one for the first time at whole foods last week. for realz!

also, i have a friend who, when she was a vegetarian, (she has since seen the light and now consumes the meats), ate tofurkey on thanksgiving.

it’s good to know there are options out there in terms of food for this time of year… holiday celebrations and whatnot. LOTS and LOTS of food options. traditional food items as well as “but my mom always made these…” items.

i cannot think of a holiday season that has gone by without my mother-in-laws “fuzzy balls.” yup. that’s what they’re called… “fuzzy balls.”

it’s ok, i giggle when i hear “fuzzy balls” too… in fact, i’m giggling right now just typing fuzzy balls multiple times.

yes, i am a 12 year old child.

anyway, they’re powdered sugar covered balls (hahaha!) of dough. in fact, i don’t even know what, if anything, is in the actual dough of the balls (again, hahaha!), but that’s not for me to know. it’s my mother-in-law’s thing… her recipe, and one that i know i will never be able to quite reciprocate so exquisitely, much like her homemade apple pie.

so i don’t even try. really, i don’t. i know my attempts will lead to nothing but disappointment and i wash my hands of the fuzzy balls (BWAHAHA!), leaving them to the expert.

my family… we’re of the chocolate-desiring-kind. we like fudge and those peanut butter cookies that have the hershey kiss on the middle of it placed ever so perfectly so as to NOT crack the cookie dough. my mom even makes these fudge mint brownies that are friggin insane. i will do ANYTHING for ANYTHING that includes mint and chocolate… except maybe give up wine.

anyway, these brownies are spectacular because they have layers… yeah, like multiple layers to them. so you can either bite into said brownie all at once, thereby experiencing the trifecta of flavors, OR you can be OCD like me and first nibble off the top layer of hardened chocolate, then the layer of green mint, finally getting to devour the brownie.

it’s madness, i tell you… MADNESS! (but the good kind.)

i have no idea how this post went from talking about turduckens to tofurkeys to desserts, but my point is this… i’m cooking for the first time EVER on thursday. thanksgiving dinner will be at our apartment, and it’ll be a small gathering of me, hub, the magoo, and our two fantastic friends. nothing fancy.

and yet, i’m scared shitless. i’m afraid of catching my apartment building on fire (which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.) i’m scared of not defrosting the turkey at the right time, so it can go in the oven at the right time, thereby throwing off the timing of every other side dish that needs its own oven space.

we’re not doing a whole turkey. in the same way that i know i cannot tackle the fuzzy balls (LOL), i KNOW i cannot and should not even attempt an entire bird for thanksgiving.

so i bowed out of that one gracefully, discussed the bird with my friend and we decided to do turkey boobs. we will be cooking turkey breasts. yup. “turkey titties” as she and i have called them over the last couple of days that we’ve been menu planning.

why are we doing two?

A) they’re boobs. you do the math.
B) ya gotta have enough turkey for the late-in-the-day/early-evening sammich.

we’ll have an abundance of fixins, and even an apple pie.

fear not though, i am not making the apple pie… i cannot and will not even consider the craft and skill that it takes for one to make such a creation. my mother-in-law has that honed skill, as does my friend, who is making the apple pie.

i will be the one sitting in the corner with my glass of wine, trembling in fear of burning something, over salting something (cuz i love me some salt) or incorrectly measuring something because i do not read instructions.