friday fumblings
i had a post all written out and ready to go, about how being the stay-at-home-parent has made me most recently wonder if i have “let myself go” in terms of my physical appearance.
vain? yes.
relevant? yes.
so the post was all good to go and philosophical and shit because i had written it earlier this week, when my sanity was still somewhat in tact, before i found myself getting very little sleep due to a certain 19 month old who seems to be getting his 2 year molars NOW.
the post remains in draft form because especially over the last two days, i answered my own question… i have totally let myself go. in my defense, the last two days have been somewhat survival mode for me, in an attempt to keep the magoo occupied, hoping he does not go into a vomiting cycle due to the teeth, etc…
and tiger woods… someone’s facebook status (i forget who wrote it or else i’d credit you, i’m sorry) yesterday said, “tiger is no longer a tiger… he’s a cheetah.”
i laughed. sorry. i did. i shouldn’t have. but with a consistently whining, occasionally screaming, unhappy toddler pulling at my limbs for the vast majority of the day, in a moment of weakness, i laughed.
then last night, while falling asleep, i couldn’t stop my mind. it just kept going. i counted sheep. i rested on my husband’s chest to listen to his heartbeat… eventually i rolled away from him and while asleep placed one hand on his shoulder.
it was this morning, while chugging my second cup of coffee that my husband told me that i kept scratching, tapping and sometimes squeezing his shoulder last night as he read his book and i slept.
i know exactly why i did it.
i was making sure he was still there.
because this week began with me pondering if i have let myself go, led to my toddler testing me in every possible way, and is ending with a friggin celebrity’s personal life mistake placed in the spotlight and on my mind when i wish it wasn’t.
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do you wonder if you have let yourself go? has “the cheetah” been on your mind when you wish it wasn’t? (and yeah, i still giggled when i typed that just now.)
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gotta run… magoo can’t decide between watching sid or sesame and has chosen to express his frustration in biting our leather ottoman. awesome.
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I will never be a cheetah:
1: you have my heart and always will
2: I would be an animal with a much larger head and much less coordinated
i saw that status yesterday too and laughed. then i got mad at myself for laughing because i detest cheating so much. ah well. poor magoo!
Nic,
It’s like you’re in my head this morning. Only my perspective was a little bit different. I saw my ex husband last night and he looks good. (Don’t get me wrong, there’s no regrets about the EX part) What occurred to me was that for a man who had a TON of rules when we were married, about the types of shirts, the way he wore his hair, the “products” he was willing to use, NEVER EVER eating right or working out….he’s managed to change all of these things. He was wearing a fitted polo shirt(TOTALLY AGAINST THE TSHIRT AND JEANS RULES), had a new “trendier” haircut, was wearing COLOGNE and has lost at least 20 lbs by giving up soda and working out three days a week. I had begged him for years about eating right and working out (not all the time, but balance…right?) I was proud of him, actually PROUD. I feel like when he takes the time to care about himself, even just a little bit,he’s a better father for my children.
I think being comfortable with our lives does allow us to let ourselves go, but when we recognize that and make little changes to improve ourselves…everyone notices. I feel like this is why they tell you to take “mom time outs” and go to the salon, get together with girlfriends, workout, whatever it is that works for you. It’s not only for the sanity it brings you to be away from your child/children, but for the renewed spirit it brings inside of you. And for the new way that others, including your children, look at you.
Sorry for babbling on so…it’s just that I’ve been thinking this too.
That comment about Tiger was funny. Yes, I’ve let myself go….big time. Oh well, when the kids get back to school, maybe I’ll join a gym.
Paul, dude you are the shit! Nic is lucky to have you as her man.
Nic, life is chaotic. Sometimes more chaotic than others (as you already know). Just remember, you have an awesome husband, a crazy cool and lovable magoo (teething wont be forever), and friends who adore you.
Oh, and your still hot even when your sick and hanging out in a portland coffee shop. So, I imagine that even now paul looks at you and thinks, ‘Awe ya. Gotta get me some o that!’
@Aaron, you show your wife this amazingly sincere and sweet comment of your’s and then love on her and her beautiful belly that is carrying your beautiful boy. Thank you for making my day!
Cheetah! That is kind of funny. I do think about this. I have a blog post percolating about this very topic, about letting oneself go, but mentally. We are so fixated on jean size that we often forget about brain size. That said, I am off to the gym…
When I was a SAHM it was much easier to just stay in my pj’s ALLLL day unless I had somewhere I had to be. I found that after awhile I did feel like I let myself go. I started getting up in the morning and putting on regular clothes, brushing my hair, etc…it really did make a difference. I felt like that a lot unless I really put in the effort to make myself look “presentable”. Funny how motherhood can really screw with our self image.
I’ve been feeling like that this week, like I’ve let myself go. I tried to start working out at the gym but Maya has been so out of sorts that I couldn’t leave her in the daycare and go to the gym. My clothes just aren’t doing it for me and I just feel blah. It seems to me that when our kiddos are the hardest to deal with we often don’t have time for ourselves and thus feel more like we are letting ourselves go.
BTW, your hubs comment above, so sweet. You’ve got a good one there
I would hate to lose my best friend and my bean so no cheating for me. Plus who really has time to cheat anyway?
You are a lucky woman. I’ve been married 17 years & have a 16 y/o daughter, so there have been a lot of times when I let myself go. But the only workout my hubby ever wants from me is sex! SO, I guess I can live with that…LOL!
Poor angry teethy little grumpster. You should drink more wine!
@DCUrbanDad FANTASTIC POINT!!!! Who the hell does have the time to cheat?!?!?
Ladies, I love you all… and your insight… but I’m so digging my dude readers and their perspectives as well right now.
Cheers to you good men!!!!
Oh I have surely let myself go,I gained 10 lbs! Yikes, my goal now is to just make it out the door with deodorant and mascara on. The mascara is a new addition to the goal
I’ve got a post in my head about the whole Tiger thing, and it’s called The Ugly Truth. As soon as my kids climb out of my butt for long enough, I’ll write and post it!
But to not leave you hanging, I don’t worry that my husband will cheat on me. No, I don’t. Because he knows *exactly* where his bread is buttered, even if my legs ARE hairier than his!
interesting… a few of these comments have interpreted “letting myself go” to be a direct reference to weight, when in fact, i personally have no issue with my weight at all.
and this probably should’ve been something i defined more clearly in my original post, nevertheless it has led to good conversation…
as for me, i’m smaller than i was size-wise before i had the magoo. i’m comfortable in my own skin and with my size. that has not been the way i have defined “letting myself go.”
what i meant in using the phrase “letting myself go,” was the days that i go without showering, shaving my legs, having greasy hair and possibly sleeping in the same t-shirt that you slept in the previous night and have also worn that same day.
interesting though… and none of the dude comments have led to weight discussion… hmmm… ladies….
I agree with one commenter earlier..like you, I’m fine size/weight-wise, but for quite a while I was just rocking the PJs unless I had to go out and take photos, shoot a wedding, or we were all going somewhere. So basically, Monday-Friday I’d be in my pajamas and shower whenever, let my hair air-dry and kink up, and then sometimes on the weekend I’d actually get dressed. I was totally not as happy as I could be, and when I started showering in the morning before Sean leaves, and actually drying my hair, it completely improved my mental state. I have a cold right now, so the PJs are being rocked daily again, but it’s totally worth it for me to get up out of bed and shower, shave, get dressed, etc. instead of getting 15 or so extra minutes of sleep.
Once I was married, had kids, and worked, I did let myself go. I gained weight. I lost weight. I gained weight back. Chopped my hair off, grew it out, chopped it off again, and grew it back. Make up/no make-up. I did what I had to survive and remain sane, well sane for a woman who became a single mom of two Macs, ages 7 months & 26 months.
If you look at my “after” picture now, you might think, “Hmmmmmm, she sure has let herself go..” But I also have “let go”.
I let go of letting a man’s wants and dreams be my only wants and dreams, squelching the voices in my head to be heard. I have let go of stressing out that I was not/am not a size 2 Super Model Sex Kitten. I let go of defining myself by what I wear and my appearance. I let go of so much emotional weight, that I am the happiest and the heaviest I have ever been. Go figure.
So, yes, I have let myself go, but I have also “let go” of a lot of baggage and unecessary crap.
By the way, from talking to you…you are one GAWRJEEOUS chick. Cheers, Lisa
I think there is a distinct difference to “letting your self go” and “putting other things before taking care of yourself”
As much as the magizeens tell the SAHM and the working mom to “take time to date yourself”, we all know that life is far too crazy to be a pampered chick… especially with a toddling ball of furious energy to wrangle! With all the craziness going on, work, kids/family, chores, hobbies, twitter, etc… it’s so easy to forget about a shower or changing your clothes, or what ever.
Personally, I find my wife sexxxxxy no matter what. While seeing her get dolled up is always super hot(yowzer!), just seeing her always reminds me of how beautiful she is. I also have realized that shaving her legs, doing her hair, getting dolled up sometimes is more important to her (and her self esteem) than it is to me. So, part of my job… i mean pleasure as a hubby is trying to figure out how to let (make) her take time to have a long shower, shave, do all the girly things with ex-foliating and what not.
I mean, she always make sure I have food to eat, that I shower and brush my teeth, and so much more to care for me, it’s the least I can do. And figuring it out now will make it a bit (small bit) easier when little Ender gets here (Feb 11).
I have taken “letting myself go” to a whole new level. I would like to blame nursing school, but I really can’t continue doing so. I need to just admit that I’m a lazy ass who has given up. I’ve gained 45 pounds since Aug 08. Ummmm, that’s how much I gained when I was pregnant. So to answer your question about letting yourself go, my answer is affirmative.
As a stay-at-home dad, I can attest to the “letting myself go” syndrome. Just today I saw a friend I’ve known for 30 years. He tapped by belly and said, “You’re getting fat.” Thanks, bro! What are friends for, right?
Nic, when I read your comment about the weight thing not being what you meant about letting yourself go, I had to comment again. I think that such a big deal is made about being overweight nowadays, that a lot of women just feel like we have to be thin & look like a model in order to be a success in our lives. And that’s usually the 1st thing someone brings up when they say that someone has really “let themself go”. I know growing up (I am 42 now), the pressure was always there to be thin & sexy & it’s still out there today. It really sucks because we women are beautiful no matter what! We all need to learn to love our bodies & stop worrying about what the media says. I think if we feel good, we look good!