postheadericon i am becoming my mother

i love my mother. truly. deeply.

she and i are connected in unspeakable and unimaginable and incredible ways. she is my BEST friend… she is the woman i yearn to become every day. i breathe my mother. i speak my mother. she is the embodiment of all that is good, true, real and honest in not only motherhood but womanhood.

she is not someone you want to cross.

i love my mother. truly. deeply.

she, being 50-whatever (not that it matters) is fantastically gorgeous. should i look as good as she does now when i am her age, i will consider myself unbelievably blessed. the best part about it is that she is humble. she’s one of those who has no idea, the depth of her beauty… which makes her that much more intriguing.

true beauty, true love

true beauty, true love

unassuming, unconditionally loving and unafraid… my mother will fight to the death for me and for what is mine, which now includes a family of my own.

(this is not to discount my father, my brother or my in-laws by any means. i am so grateful and blessed to know that jackson will be growing up with both sets of amazing grandparents, each bringing and so willingly offering their bits and pieces of wisdom and love to our son.)

i love my mother. truly. deeply.

sometimes she forgets things… mistakes things… doesn’t remember things. because with the wisdom of parenthood, grandparenthood and so forth comes forgetfulness.

i learned this lesson last night.

thanks to harry potter and half blood prince.

paul and i have been together for 10 years… and married for just over 5. we have come to associate the holidays with the release of either a harry potter movie or lord of the rings, if not both.

once the magoo entered our life, all of this changed.

priorities changed.

everything changed… for the better.

paul and i sat on our couch last night, thinking we had already seen harry potter and the half blood prince when in fact we had not. we bought the movie on-demand and upon seeing just the first few minutes, paused the movie and had the following conversation…

have you seen this?” i asked paul.

well i read the book…” he said.

ok so this is the one where so and so… ya know… right?” i say

well uh yeah… but hold on lemme double check on the computer.

while he’s researching on the computer, i find myself going back through my head thinking “shit, this movie came out last summer… we had a 9 month old… we had moved… we were settled… we had no feeding tube coming out of our child’s nose… why the hell didn’t we see this in the theater?

by the time i exit my own convoluted mind, and paul finishes his harry potter online research, it dawns on the both of us that… not only had we never seen this movie that we thought we had already seen, but…

WE HAVE BECOME OUR PARENTS.

forgetful. laughable. questionable.

beautiful.

we are parents. our priorities have changed. in a good way. in a way that suits us, as funny and silly as it may be. as agonizing and painful as it may be. as fantastic and joyful as it may be.

we are parents… and i am becoming my mother.

so, as i take a break from blogging over the holiday, while we travel and spoil our magoo rotten with the help of both sets of grandparents, i encourage those of you who are parents to take note of the wisdom our own parents have bestowed upon us. for those of you who are parents-to-be… wow! you have so much to look forward to! take notes! and REST! and for those of you who do not have parenthood anywhere near your radar… enjoy your holiday season, and have a round for me!

hell, have two.

***EDITED*** apparently hotdads took it upon themselves to give me an early christmas present, awarding me with a hot mama award. all i can say is thank you. i’ve got good genes… look at the lady above, my own mama.

so mom… this one is for both of us…

No Responses to “i am becoming my mother”

  • Hey! Your mom is hot lmao! ;)

    I am forgetting things more and more these days too :)

  • Love this! Especially because Husband and I had the same discussion last night as we decided whether or not to watch Harry Potter on demand. Even the two minute preview couldn’t help us remember if we had seen it. By the time we realized we hadn’t, we were too tired and decided to go to bed. Sigh.

    Here’s to 2010, wonderful mothers, forgetful parents, and Harry Potter! Enjoy your holiday travels.

  • Perfect. Have a Merry Christmas Nic!

  • I swear pregnancy, childbirth, and raising children lowers you IQ a few standard deviations AND it only goes downhill from there. I will NEVER be like my mother. She actually gets off on cleaning…ummm, never gonna happen with me. If I were to slit my MeMe’s wrist she would bleed the triple X: WindeX, CloroX, and TileX! If I were to slit my wrist, I would bleed, dust bunnies and dirt piles. But I love my mother and I hope to be like her as much as possible. :) Loved this post. Lisa

  • I appreciate my mother more and more and more every day. And when I’m feeling like my kids don’t appreciate anything I do for them, I think back about how *I* didn’t truly appreciate anything my mom did for me until I was an adult.

    I am becoming my mother in so many ways… and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  • forgetfulness……when my first was only about 7 months old, we had packed the car with a high chair, extra diapers, wipes, 2 changes of clothing, blankets, puree baby food, baby finger food, baby toys, baby Tylenol (just in case)…..and an extra change of clothing for myself, just in case the baby spit-up on me (she had NEVER spit up before but in my mind….)

    Anyway, we were headed 2 hours south for my parents house to celebrate my little girl’s first Christmas…..we get a little more than HALF way there…..and it dawns on me that we didn’t pack any of the presents for my parents, brother, cousins, etc. . .

    I was so mad and frustrated. That year, I just told everyone what I had bought for them and they got their presents about 2 weeks later when they came to my house for dinner….which included me ordering delivery.

  • Lisa:

    Yep, the hubs and I have had the same conversation and laughed as we realized we have now truly arrived into parenthood.

    Happy Holidays and enjoy your time with your family.

  • You are definitely a hot mama my dear. And I just adore you. What lovely things you’ve said about your parents. I’m glad you are all close and apreciate eachother. May you have a very merry christmas together. <3

  • If my daughters someday wish and yearn to be like me, it will be life’s absolute greatest reward. And I sure hope my son yearns to be like my husband. Have you ever read the cathedral story? I will send it to you in a different post. I’m unsure if it will fit but it is so important for every woman to read.

  • The Cathedral Story – a must read for all moms.

    I’m Invisible

    It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,
    the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone
    and ask to be taken to the store.
    Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not;
    no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the
    floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can
    see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom.

    Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?
    Can you tie this? Can you open this?

    Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a
    clock to ask, “What time is it?”

    I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?”
    I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.”

    I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
    eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude
    - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be
    seen again. She’s going, she’s going, and she’s gone!

    One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the
    return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a
    fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed
    in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together
    so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I
    looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could
    find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and
    I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling
    pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
    package, and said, “I brought you this.” It was a book on the great
    cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me
    until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the
    greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

    In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would
    discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
    which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great
    cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave
    their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made
    great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building
    was fueled by their f aith that the eyes of God saw everything.

    A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit
    the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a
    tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man,
    “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that
    will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.” And the workman
    replied, “Because God sees.”

    I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
    almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Charlotte. I
    see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you
    does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no
    cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.
    You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what
    it will become.”

    At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
    disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my
    own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn
    pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great
    builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will
    never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be
    on.

    The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could
    ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing
    to sacrifice to that degree.

    When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend
    he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My Mom gets up
    at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes
    a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.”
    That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just
    want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to
    say to his friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it there.”

    As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if
    we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world
    will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that
    has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

  • I officially pronounce all women in your family Hot Mamas!!!!

    Congrats my lady!! You deserve evry ounce of this award!

  • Emma:

    Aww sooo cute. You are One Hot Mama by the way!! Merry Christmas!

  • Sage:

    Your Moma isa hot Mama too!

    Congrats on Hot Mama-dom!!

    Merry CHristmas!

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