pillow talk
with our household battling colds lately, snots and coughing and clogged ears oh my, we’ve spent a lot of time taking cold medicine, drinking tea and going to bed early.
meanwhile the magoo’s 2 year old molars have decided to arrive 5 months early, so he’s uber fun to be around. he has bitten through EVERYTHING. teething toys no longer exist because he has chomped through them, thereby making whatever liquid that’s inside leak out… he has bitten me to the point of drawing blood (no, he is not a vampire)… and his teeth have shredded multiple pacifiers.
side note: yes, we are working on taking away the “sass” and the fact that he is biting through them all only fuels that flame all the more. at the same time, that’s the one thing that offers him comfort when his molars are bothering him. ah, the back-and-forth of parenting…
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i digress… so we’ve been going to bed early. the whiny, miserable molaring (yes, i just made that a word) magoo has exhausted me on top of battling this cold.
i’m not sure what “pillow talk” is like at your house, but at our house, it consists of the day-to-day crap that we end up discussing as we get ready to hit the hay.
“what do you have going on tomorrow?”
“so is this meeting wednesday or thursday? i can’t remember.”
“you’re meeting so and so for a play date at 9:30, right?”
“can i schedule a haircut for this weekend?”
last night for example, there was nothing on tv that interested either of us. we watched part of “The Biggest Loser” finale and then i got bored. so i got ready for bed while paul took red out for his final potty and we turned in for the night.
instead of reading, we stayed up talking… or rather, i stayed up talking to paul, about everything and nothing. and then it got quiet. i assumed he was sleeping. we had snuggled to the point of me getting hot and irritated and them making him move to his side of the bed. (i need my space when i sleep so my feet can find the cold spots).
while i could hear paul breathing heavily, he was not yet snoring. and it was at this point when he blurts out, “what is a butt-to-butt fart called?”
“WHAT????????”
so we both start cracking up because once again, our pillow talk has turned to fart talk.
we discuss what it’s called when one farts while spooning. we then start pondering different names for what farts are called when you’re laying back to back with your partner… and do both parties have to fart… i dunno.
then my nyquil kicked in and i fell asleep.
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what does your pillow talk consist of? do you and your partner have fart names? anyone know what a butt-to-butt fart is called?
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and no, obviously i am not thinking clearly these days with the abundance of cold medicine i’m taking to combat this cold and a VERY cranky toddler on my hands, so i apologize if anyone is offended by fart talk… but, c’mon get over yourself. everyone farts. yup, EVEN YOU.
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we talk about crazy things too all the time. it’s nice when you can wonder things like that w/o feeling like a moron. and hannah had her paci til she was almost 3. it’s all good. i’m totally for the paci. it’s a lifesaver!
Thank the lord that J and I are not the only ones who have the most random pillow talk!
Before we lived together pillow talk was what lead to something more but these days the talk is all about what we plan on having for dinner the following day, who did or did not lock the front door, our days at work and whether J’s jeans are ironed for work the next morning!
Romance at our house is when you fart *before* getting into bed. Pillow talk is when hubs farts under the covers and then fluffs the blanket so the smell hits me in the face.
Who says romance is dead?
Well, I don’t know what a butt-to-butt fart is called, but did you know that Urban Dictionary has 261 listings for fart?
ROFLMAO
So, it HAS to be out there. Right?
Ha ha. Again, another example of the fact that we are totally twins. For starters the hubs and I talk about farts too (he grew up in a house of boys and considers fart talk perfectly normal)! Also, I total can’t fall asleep cuddling, I have to have my space, I’m a hot sleeper and need to have cool spots for my feet too
I’ll have to pose that butt to butt fart question to the hubs tonight…I’ll let you know what we come up with.
Well, usually hubby is sleeping before I even get in bed, but the farts still go on through the night in his sleep! No idea what you would call a butt-to-butt fart. Hmm…maybe I’ll ask the hubby on this one. LOL
I’m sorry colds are going around the house. Kids tend to get colds worse when they are cutting teeth so I can imagine how cranky he is. Have you given him any ice to chew on? Maybe that will help.
Let that sweet Magoo keep his pacifier for as long as he wants it. That’s the team that I bat for with my daughter. My son didn’t care for them one bit. Would spit them out! Silly boy.
My daughter kept about 8 pacifiers in her bed until she was about 4 years old. She actually threw them away about a week or two before her 4th birthday. This was a decision she made on her own and there were no tears, no transition, no substitution (pacifier for a blanket etc). It was phenomenal.
She’s been to the dentist and her teeth are perfect!
Well, my hubby is narcoleptic – the second his head hits the pillow he’s out, so I don’t get pillow talk. If I want him to stay up I have to jump on him and bounce his head on the pillow. Then I’ve got him for about five minutes.
Anyway, I found your blog and I’ve been reading your stories and they’re so great – I love bloggers that keep it real and let their voice come through their writing. Plus I love your tattoos!
1) No pillow talk here. SINGLE….for 9 1/2 yrs
2) A day without someone farting in my house is a day when the boys are not here!
3) I can’t stand cuddling. Ick…breathing recycled air is nasty!I. NEED. MY. PERSONAL. SPACE.
Nice to know that you are “real people”.
i call it a quass
as in queef
Haha we have fart talks in bed. Sometimes I wish we were deeper but you know you get tired and you need a laugh and it is all quiet and then farts happen and it is funny!
Oh dude… I TOTALLY fart. I usually try to keep it private, depending on who is around, but I know that it totally comes out entirely uncensored when I’m in that “halfway asleep” part. LOL
I have no idea what it’s called when your asses start blowing kisses at eachother, though. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.
@Kellee i dig the idea of asses blowing kisses at each other. nice.
We don’t have pillow talk here, either. I go to bed before my night-owl hubby. And I am totally with you on the needing personal space while sleeping!
I shall now refer to farting as blowing kisses from my bum.
Right before bed is the time when I finally figure out everything I wanted to say and it’s a brain dump. The wife hates it. She wishes I would say it before bed. I am a fan of sleeping butt to butt. Although if I roll over further on my side I take the opposite arm towards here and just barely touch her so I know she is there. Then I am out.
My wife SUCKS! I have never farted in front of here and if that word is mentioned she immediately catches attitude! I need to loosen her up a bit. I think I will give her the ol “Dutch Oven” tonight….wish me luck!