crap. i owe this blog a serious update of massive proportions.

but it’s not going to happen today. i’d like for it to happen today, but i just don’t have it in me.

after 2 weeks of being gone and sleeping in more locations than i can remember, crying way more than an obscene amount, and then returning home… i find myself depleted in every way.

this last week has sucked in ways that have taken a toll on me mentally, emotionally and physically. i wasn’t prepared for any of this, but neither was my dear college roommate, em, who lost her sister at 18 and is now being the rock for her grieving family to rest on.

em- i love you so much and i am always here for you.

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so yeah, the holiday was good. jackson was spoiled rotten. his loot of gifts had to be shipped back home because there was too much to fit in our luggage.

paul and my father-in-law taught me how to shoot a gun, which i swore to myself i would never do. i’ll most likely never do it again, but had my own reasons for learning and accomplished my goal. hell, i even shot a tin bowling pin target thingy down. entirely by accident… but still.

the holiday is kind of this whirlwind that’s in the back of my mind.

did it really happen?

holidays with a child who has both sets of grandparents in the same city is both a blessing and a curse. you (the primary caregiver) bring your “work” with you over the holidays and it’s never as relaxing as you may have hoped. at least it’s not for me. it was wonderful to have 4 loving grandparents and 2 uncles to occupy jackson, babysit and dote on him for two solid weeks. however, now i am at home with a tantrum-driven, (nearly) 21 month old who has been given everything he has asked for… and sometimes i say “no.”

so between the crocodile tears and pretzel throwing and door banging, i wonder where the hell the holiday went.

and new years… when did it become 2010?

new years eve was spent with one of my six former roommates on night-duty over em and her parents after we buried her sister that morning.

i’ll never forget rubbing em’s mom’s feet with vick’s vapo-rub and placing warm socks on her in an attempt to get her to relax enough to sleep a few hours.

i’ll never forget it because i was exactly where i was supposed to be.

em- i love you so much and i’m always here for you.

**********

i have a ton of family pictures to share. a lot of great stories. but for now this post will have to do, because i really need a nap.

ps- thanks to all of you who have sent such loving comments, facebook messages, tweets and emails. the comments on each of my posts close after 5 days, so for those of you who emailed me because you couldn’t comment the last few days, i thank you for your persistence and kindness.

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