it’s no secret that i’ve been stung by the bug… THE bug.

it’s also no secret that i have referred to my IUD as “the sperminator” since having it err… inserted placed shortly after my 6 week post magoo birthing, now almost 2 years ago.

it is no secret that i have a husband whose sperm defied the birth control pill i had been on and taken religiously since i was 17 years old.

ladies and gents, let this be a lesson to us all that there is a reason why the pill is 98% effective… the other 2% is the magoo.

so all that being said, we’re now talking about magoo 2.0!!!

the thought of having another little nuglet and expanding our family even more thrills both paul and i.

we never had to have THE CONVERSATION… like the whole “Well, do you want a baby?” “I dunno, I mean are we ready for that?” “Well, I dunno but maybe we’re ready, whatever that means…” conversation because i didn’t know i was pregnant with jackson when i was indeed pregnant with jackson.

i digress… having THE CONVERSATION in itself is an interesting experience… it kinda reminded me of a game of “go fish” where you go back and forth and back and forth and friggin back and forth.

Me: “Well, do YOU think we’re ready for this?”

Him: “I guess… I mean, I know for sure I won’t be deployed for 18 months.”

Me: “OK, well that’s a good thing. So at least you’ll be around for this pregnancy…” (*snort* and heavy sarcasm since paul missed me in all my glory of the 3rd trimester and came home just in time for me to start hating life and sleep in the guest room while sitting up because of my righteous heartburn.)

Him: “Well yeah, I’ll be around… and I guess we’ll just see where we are sent after that.”

Me: “UGH NAVY!!!!”

*big sigh*

“go fish.”

so here’s the deal… there are quite a few things that need to fall into place in order for me to indeed be with child.

numero uno: MEGA importance… i need a KILLER OBGYN. i LOVED my last one and if you’re goina be all up in my biznass for 9 months and delivering the little body that comes out of my body, i need to be uber cool with you. also, you can’t be a dude. sorry. it’s nothing personal, men. i know there are FANTASTIC male OBGYNs out there in the world, but they will never be mine simply because i am a rape survivor and the ONLY man allowed ANYWHERE near my vag is my husband. period.

part B: i need a serious discussion with my doctor about properly weaning off my anxiety meds. i’ve done this before and there is one medication that i am capable of weaning myself off of because of my prior experience with it, but i have two others as well that i need to make sure i get off of the right way. so that’s a pretty big factor with me as well.

and three: i need to have the sperminator removed. i have the mirena IUD which has worked well for me, and not so well according to some of my blogging friends. there is no “waiting period” in terms of hormone regulation etc once it is removed. so once that sucker is out… well… you can figure that out yourself.

then again, any sort of waiting period really wouldn’t be an issue with us as paul’s sperm shoots through birth control like a sniper.

so THE APPOINTMENT was made last week. i got a FANTASTIC recommendation for a female OBGYN by my primary care doctor and made the “extraction appointment” for april 29th.

it should be noted that jackson turns 2 on april 22nd, one week before sperminator extraction.

it should also be noted that the morning following the sperminator extraction, april 30th, paul and i leave for a vacation to the dominican republic for 5 days.

will we come home with the seed planted for a dominican love-child? probably not. i will most likely still be in the midst of weaning off meds… and i most definitely want to enjoy the swim up tiki bar at the resort we are staying at.

after the vacay though… GAME ON!!!

and when the day comes that we do find out we are in deed with magoo 2.0, my liver will curse me for 9 straight months as i will be forced to deprive it of its wine.

it’s ok sweet liver… we’ll make it through…

No Responses to “extraction of the sperminator”