dear jackson,

yesterday you and i flew home from mimi and gaga’s house after a fantastic trip and memorable celebration that they hosted for you.

child of mine, you are so loved. and as friends and family members congregated last weekend to spoil you and watch you play, i found myself overwhelmed with contentment.

i simply cannot imagine my life without you, sweet jackson. your smile brings me to my knees. your laughter is contagious. it is already apparent what a beautiful heart you have in your precious little body.

jackson, you are so smart and teach me something new everyday… sometimes you show me that i can actually get through this thing called motherhood and keep my head above water.

barely above water… but i’m still breathing.

all of this flooded my mind and heart yesterday, while we were flying 30,000 feet in the air, just you and i, for the very last time, sharing a seat.

you slept the entire flight. this does not happen often. i basked in the glory of holding you in my arms, resting with you as our chests and bellies would rise and fall together in rhythm. i watched your eyelashes flutter and felt your feet twitch.

your daddy’s feet twitch when he sleeps.

i held you close in your blanket that has been with you since your very first few weeks of life. inhaling your scent, watching your purse your lips and then drop your pacifier out of exhaustion.

and i wept. i don’t know if my tears were of joy or sadness… probably both.

thank you for making my life full of purpose.

thank you for being my son.

happy birthday, beautiful one.

i love you,
mom