monday RANT
i hate 2 years old… the age. 2.
not my kid who is 2 and some change. i don’t hate him… i hate his current age.
and yes, when i say “hate,” i mean HATE. LOATHE. DISTAIN.
i hear that 3 is worse than 2… 4 is worse than 3… 5 is worse than 4, etc.
so ultimately, you people are telling me i’m screwed.
super.
thanks.
starting to think i made the wrong decision in having my IUD removed.
there are bruises on my body from where my son pummels into me as though he’s a friggin running back for the NFL. there are scratches from where he’s broken my skin while clawing at my face because he doesn’t want to go down for a nap. my iphone is THIS CLOSE to being entirely busted and the screen of my macbook has more footprints on it than i can count. there are pinch marks, slaps and the very rare teeth mark on my arms from when he chooses to bite me because i have not given him fruit snacks for breakfast…
or a popsicle.
FOR BREAKFAST.
today, i want to give up.
there, i said it.
i’ve done the dishes, taken care of jackson, read to jackson, played with jackson, fed him breakfast and lunch, changed however many diapers (i really need to get on the potty-training train b/c we go thru too many damn diapers), swiffered up an amount of dog hair that makes me gag, run errands b/c jackson was driving me crazy and i figured the next best thing would be to literally drive in the hopes of calming down his crazy… and i’ve done 2 loads of laundry.
it’s 1:13 pm.
my nemesis is currently down for a nap but has been sleeping for MAYBE an hour + which is NOT typical for him and i’m selfish ya’ll.
I NEED THOSE 2 HOURS.
i need them so that i can endure the remainder of the day… the whining, the pouting, the unsatisfactory groans he spews my way when i think he’s asking for one toy when he really wants something entirely different… the fighting to get him to eat SOMETHING that perhaps contains a bit of protein.
when i began today, my mantra was “just make it to wednesday…”
because wednesday i road trip it to NYC with some blog friends to meet up with another blog friend to go to a taping of the daily show with jon stewart.
and yeah, i’m stoked about the trip, which is why my mantra this morning was, “just make it to wednesday…”
but i gotta be honest, right now, my mantra is “just make it til daddy comes home from work.”
and as sick and twisted as it sounds, i have caught myself at times today, with a sly, devilish grin on my face when i think of what paul’s day will be like on wednesday.
jackson… JACKSON for the day… the WHOLE day… morning til whenever i get back… just him and the maniac magoo and laundry and tantrums and dog hair and dishes and dinner on the table when i return…
IF i return.
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bring on the RANTS. give me your best bitching & let’s bond over this bullshit.
he teaches me well
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father’s hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you’ll know by.
Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
And you, of tender years,
Can’t know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children’s hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you’ll know by.
Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you
Song Credit: Teach Your Children by: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
click below for audio.
aprons, advertising, and asshats
upon checking my inbox this morning, i came across an email from an ad agency (which shall remain nameless) making me aware that williams sonoma inc., owner of pottery barn and PBteen, requests that i remove their ad for bedding by pottery barn kids from my sidebar due to the content of the other ads that are currently running (and will continue to run) on my sidebar.
i emailed back, making the agency aware that my webmaster will remove the link as soon as possible. i added in this email that i couldn’t help but laugh at how ludicrous a situation this was, but, no harm no foul. the ad will be removed.
having that text ad was literally “pocket change,” so this was never about the money… though i now fully intend on using that $30 on wine, thankyouverymuch.
once i had a chance to marinate on this, it dawned on me that this action, asking me to remove their ad due to my content was perhaps… insulting?
the feminist in me kicked in… i began to wonder “what would betty say” about this debacle? “what would gloria do” with this tasty information?
the ad agency and i have emailed back and forth for a good part of this morning. the representative of the ad agency who initiated the pitch was profusely apologetic and cordial. i emailed back, making it clear that i found no fault with their agency, but was extremely curious about williams sonoma (as the agency’s client) and what this request of theirs meant for myself and for my readers (mainly women, mainly mothers).
dudes, i’m not discounting you. ladies without kidlets, i’m not discounting you either. i’m calling it what it is and it, my blog, is a mom blog. there, i said it… begin casting your stones.
i emailed the ad agency numerous questions…
**********
do these “certain words” that are “not to be associated with their brand” include “rape”?? i am an (almost) 10 year survivor and discuss sexual assault frequently on my blog.
do these “certain words” include “alcohol”?? because i really enjoy my wine, have written wine reviews, and discuss that on my blog as well.
and what about expletives? i drop a curse word in nearly every one of my posts.
**********
suffice to say, i have come to my own conclusions about what has taken place today… these conclusions are mine and mine alone and do not represent the ad agency that originally contacted me.
it is my personal belief that williams sonoma inc. is neglecting the fact that mothers are sexual beings. guess what? moms buy sex toys. some of these same women also buy children’s bedding from your store.
where on earth do you think children come from? let me answer that for you… SEX!!!!!!!
it is also my personal belief that williams sonoma inc. is negligent in educating themselves on the bloggers they pitch to… case in point, me. this is why i do not blame the ad agency. i believe the agency was the middle-person in all of this and that it is the responsibility of the company who is desiring ad space to be aware of the content of the blogger they are pitching to.
in all honesty, i don’t give two shits about my ad space. the two ads i currently run belong to two amazing women who have befriended me and i am proud to support their companies and their work.
**********
in the last hour, i took a quick twitter poll and asked the following question…
twitter poll: any moms out there who shop at williams sonoma or the companies they own, in addition to shopping for sex toys for yourself?
nic
MyBottlesUp
within seconds i received A LOT of responses, some of my faves including…
@MyBottlesUp I hide my sex toys under some Pottery Barn Furniture. #justsaying
Kimberly Wright
beautifulwreck2
@MyBottlesUp Well, I cannot afford to shop at Pottery Barn because I spend all my money on sex toys #Howyalikemenow
Sunday Stilwell
xtremeparnthood
@MyBottlesUp I am completely nonsexual and my daughter was obviously dropped off by the Stork!!!! How ridiculous!
Emma
emmylouvic
i then summed things up with the following tweet…
disclaimer: i am in no way suggesting a williams sonoma boycott or pottery barn boycott. but i am suggesting the purchase of sex toys.nic
MyBottlesUp
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according to my webmaster and dear friend who runs the same ads on her blog that i do, “you totally should write a post on ‘advertisers knowing their audience’ and how not all mommy blogger are created equal – some of us give better blowjobs.“
so basically that is what this all boils down to, i suppose.
that, and williams sonoma inc. needs to realize that it is currently 2010… people buy sex toys AND some of these people are parents.
now please excuse me while i go into the kitchen and bake some cookies while wearing my williams sonoma apron… and nothing else.
UPDATE 1: holy cripes ya’ll… treat yourselves…
In honor of @MyBottlesUp for the rest of the week, receive 20% off your entire order at http://bit.ly/QrP54 use the code SonomaPottery
Maniacal Mom
maniacalmom
THANKS TO THE EVER-SO-AWESOME @maniacalmom for this kickass discount!!!
also, make sure to check out the latest BlogherAtHome post and enter to win a basket of goodies from the uber generous @maniacalmom.
(why do i feel like so many will be starting a collection of toys, if not adding their already existing one??? enjoy!!!)
UPDATE 2: thanks to my fantastic sponsor @nipplecharms!!!
In honor of @MyBottlesUp for the rest of June, receive 12% off your order at http://bit.ly/dl8YaW use the code WilliamsSonoma
nipplecharms
nipplecharms
ladies what are you waiting for? go! shop! then… well, you know what to do.
Have a Sip
