BOLD FACE DISCLAIMER: this post is not sponsored by any of the brands mentioned in it. i am mentioning the brands of my own will, so that those of you reading this post can actually know what it is that i use in my house in my attempt to rid myself and my family of the grotesque amount of dog hair we encounter on a daily hourly basis.

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this morning started out as any other morning, with me contemplating the current state of my hair. the lack of shape and cute style it normally has as we are cutting back on expenses. the taste of guilt, knowing that my parents will be here next week and i will grovel and ask them to pay for me to get my hair cut by my uber awesome stylist because i can’t just go to super cuts like some people. i have bipolar hair… it’s curly in the back, straight in the front and overall just a hot mess.

the one time i did go to super cuts, was 1 week after i had been married. paul and i had driven from atlanta out to texas, where he was finishing up flight school. it was hotter than the 8th circle of hell and i wanted to cut all the hair off that i had spent the better part of a year growing out simply for the wedding. i walked in to super cuts with long luscious locks tossed up in a ponytail… i walked out of super cuts with a diagonal bob and atrocious layers. then i proceeded to go “home” to a house with 4 male roommates, one of whom was my husband who i shared an air mattress with.

good times.

so… back to my hair pondering state this morning…

it was upon that moment of contemplation when jackson ran into my office to make me aware of something that was clearly of the utmost importance to him…

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FACT: i swiffer vac twice a day, every day.

we have an 85 lb labrador retriever. red. red sheds so much that i often find myself in a state of dry heaving. don’t get me wrong, i’m not OCD when it comes to cleaning (and if you are, more power to you… also, can you please come clean my house? i will pay you in hugs and wine.)

there are a few things that i am WICKEDLY OCD about… 1) the bed. only i can make the bed. if paul attempts, i will redo it. i make it every day and on the rare occasion that it does not get made, it’s because i am either ill and still in the bed, or it’s been one helluva day with jackson and i cannot bring myself to do ONE MORE THING. 2) the dog hair. it MUST be vacuumed up, swept up, or in my case swiffer vac-ed up twice a day. why twice? because that is how much our dog sheds. the hair that i suck up in the machine of glory returns upon the instant that red moves from room to room. so i suck it up once in the morning and again in the late afternoon.

since our home is all hardwood, we have a couple of rugs… one underneath our dining room table and another in jackson’s bedroom. red is not allowed in jackson’s bedroom LIKE EVER… NEVER EVER… however, the dog hair collects in there as it travels through the ducts of our air conditioning system and underneath his bed room door.

so, the rugs are vacuumed on average 3-4 times a week.

given how much of my life is consumed with disposing of red’s hair that collects around our home, i thought i’d share some shots of awesome with you just so that you can fully grasp HOW MUCH dog hair there is, and HOW MUCH this grosses me out.

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it should be noted that jackson really likes to help vacuum, so he follows me around while pushing his toy golf bag as though it is a vacuum. he also likes to say “CHEESE” when he sees me pull the camera out. and lastly, red is very embarrassed that i have written this post about him, letting the world know about the foul amount of dog hair he creates. oh and… he licks his ass… A LOT. that should sufficiently explain the shame on his face. red then decided to pay me back with what i call “the money shot” in the last photo. my apologies in advance.

so, what should i do with my hair? cut it? grow it? shave it all off?