ditching the rat race
i’m achy this morning.
i’m tired, always tired. stress and anxiety have gotten the best of me lately.
(i hate admitting that but it’s true.)
(i hate feeling like a prisoner to anxiety, but that’s where i am right now.)
my muscles are sore from tension.
i look at my to-do list and want to cry because it seems so daunting.
the most menial of tasks overwhelms me when i’m struggling.
i look out the bedroom window and it’s another grey day, blanketed by clouds, icy and cold.
like yesterday… and the day before that…
i turn more lights on throughout the apartment to trick my mind into thinking it’s not that dark.
somedays it works better than others.
something requires my attention, usually undivided attention.
when was the last time i gave anything my undivided attention?
i’m achy this morning. achy in my body and achy in my heart.
i sip some coffee, read through some emails (choose to ignore a few.)
and then i come across a picture that i took last night…
i was watching a movie with jackson… about construction sites, a current obsession.
i snapped a quick shot of him watching.
**********
i want to relish in my son’s eyes and perspective.
and give his lashes my undivided attention.
17 Responses to ditching the rat race
Have a Sip
Its funny that you wrote about Jackson’s eyelashes. I have always wanted to take a picture of Noah’s when we are sitting downstairs in the sunshine waiting for the school bus but I can’t because he is always playing with my iPhone. Perhaps next time (please tell me there will be a next time and they will not be out of school for ETERNITY!?!) I will bring my regular camera along with me.
Much love to you, my friend. I’m feeling the anxiety too lately.
Sunday´s last [type] ..Stream of Consciousness Sunday
nice. very nice.
Dana´s last [type] ..Writing is like birthing a giant zoo animal
You should come up and visit me, so you can sit on your ass in guilt free pleasure and relax.
PrincessJenn´s last [type] ..Hard Core Canadian
“sit on your ass in guilt free pleasure and relax.”
just imagining this makes me giddy.
Love and hugs sweet friend. Relish those lashes, those eyes, that lovely childhood perspective. Soak it in and let it heal you. Love ya lots.
Lisa´s last [type] ..Tough Love
My dearest – I am sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed. It’s so hard to do anything sometimes when it feels like there is just too much to do. I know that feeling. You do the best you can, though – some days better than others – and that’s all anybody can expect of you. <3
Hi Nic: I know that feeling, and when it comes around, the one sure thing is that it won’t stay forever. Just breathe in and out, get done what you can, and let go of the rest. Sometimes we just have to let go and be just one day at a time. I know, it sounds so simple, and isn’t at all. I will say some extra prayers for you. love and hugs Auntie
It’s wonderful how the little ones can always bring us joy when we need it most. Hope you have a relaxing day. Know that the sun will come out again.
Otter´s last [type] ..The Unforgiven
i know how you feel
have you tried taking b12 supplements? i totally swear by them now. they’ve really helped with my major lack of motivation & energy. its also this suck crap weather here in maryland.
Alexandria´s last [type] ..LouLou & Maxime Giveaway
Sometimes it’s the littlest of things that can help heal our soul. I so know where you’re coming from. I have postpartum anxiety (anxiety disorders run in the family) and I know how crippling it can be. It facken sucks to say the least, but I think it’s important that when we are in a slump that we focus on the things that warm our soul. Those are the most important things
Emails can wait.
Warm hugs.
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Special Ketamine- It’s Part Of My Healthy Balanced Breakfast
thank you all for such kind words. they are so appreciated.
Those lashes are the most important thing to give attention too. You can always do your to-do list tomorrow!
Minivan Mama´s last [type] ..I Love It I Hate It
I love your bravery and courage. And oh my God, do you have those lashes, too? Gorgeous!
Dana Udall-Weiner´s last [type] ..On Letting Go of Praise and Growing Older- Trading Beauty for Bravery
Lovely and honest. A sweet sweet picture of your precious boy. I’m sorry about the darkness and ache. Hope it passes and soon. xo
Who wouldn’t want to give those lashes some undivided attention? Why is it the boys that always get the incredible lashes?
I so feel you on the annxiety… and the weight of it all. I remember crying over a few dirty dishes.. because it was just all too hard.
Here’s hoping the weight is lifted a little soon.
*proper hugs*
Jenni Chiu´s last [type] ..Why I Sometimes Say Fuck On My Blog
Sheesh I would give those my attention. And now I feel like I am going to need a pic like that of Miles. Also – just HUGE hugs to you sweetie. These grey days are taking their toll and we need some sun!!!
I’m sending my love because that’s all I have…hope we see that sunshine soon!
Brittany at Mommy Words´s last [type] ..A Letter to Violet on Her First Birthday
i look at my to-do list and want to cry because it seems so daunting.
the most menial of tasks overwhelms me when i’m struggling
So. Damn. True.
<3
jess; [the bottle chronicles]´s last [type] ..Photo Challenge- A Different View