in gratitude for all ye of the internet and also those select few who have had to hold my hair back
there are a select few people in my life who i know will be there for me, no matter what.
i could be in jail and they would bail me out. i could be holding someone hostage at knife point (because guns scare me) and they would be my hostage negotiator. i could be hugging a toilet seat, puking up tequila (i hate tequila) and know my hair will be held back.
i can count those people on one hand, and they most definitely know who they are and how grateful i am for having them in my life.
i’m hoping that those of you who are reading this have one person, a few people, like that for yourselves.
a blogger who i have admired for a long time emailed me, a few months ago, and shared some words that really resonated with me. i had been in a slump with blogging a few months back… not knowing what to post, what not to post, where to draw my boundaries. and i reached out to her. much to my surprise, she wrote back.
her words meant so much to me because she described what i am describing to you… community. granted, it means different things to different people, but there’s something magical that happens when a vulnerable moment is shared and someone nods their head and says, “i hear you.”
earlier this week, jenny, the bloggess, came out in a very candid post about her mental health. i highly suggest you read it. it’s raw and beautiful and respectable in so many ways.
i heard her.
it is no secret that i have been battling my own demons concerning my own mental health and its current instability. i’ve posted about it a number of times over the last couple of months.
and yesterday i found myself back at square one… back on medication.
there is a disappointment that i’m currently feeling about succumbing to a combination of pills to help me get myself back to being… myself. there is sadness that i feel in knowing that paul and i will have to put off trying for another baby until i can get myself stabilized and eventually back off some of the medication.
and while battling these feelings of mine, it was suggested to me, by one of my closest friends, a confidant (a hair-holder-backer if you will) that i write about it. and then it was suggested by this same friend that i talk about it in a live chat that i hosted yesterday.
so i did.
and i was blown away with the kindness, support, and sharing of ideas that took place in that forum yesterday. i’m grateful to those of you who showed up to bare your souls and say “me too.”
this morning, i am brought back to that email from a fellow blogger, the one from a few months ago, and i’m reminded of her beautiful words, of my true community of beautiful people in my life. i’m so grateful for them.
and i’m so grateful for you as well. thank you, truly. you were heard.
15 Responses to in gratitude for all ye of the internet and also those select few who have had to hold my hair back
Have a Sip
Anxiety sucks ass. I’m so grateful Zoloft is Ok for pregnancy because I wouldn’t make it! Im sorry you’re struggling and sorry you feel medication is square one, if you had a kidney condition you’d take meds for that! I hope to not take them forever but im glad they are there.
I’m glad you shared this (and pointed me to Jenny’s post, which I hadn’t seen). I know the demons of depression and instability well and am sorry you are battling them right now. But I’m so grateful for your courage in writing about it, and please know that your words are a balm to me. Every single one. xox
I am truly grateful for this community. I have been struggling hardcore lately and my online friends have been holding my hand, listening to me cry, and just letting me know it WILL be ok.
I am on medication for depression for the first time in my life. As you know it’s surprising I didn’t need it before, but this chronic pain is a beast.
So thank you for talking about it. Thank you for being brave. Thank you for making me feel less alone.
We will get through this.
I totally need to start blogging again. LOL
xoxoxo
I adore this community and it’s power to hold people up with they can’t hold themselves up. When I shared earlier last year about the specifics of my dad’s passing I was blown away by the support and kind words I received. This community rocks and I’m so proud to be apart of it.
I love you and I think you are amazing and strong and passionate. I’m glad you shared your story the other day about your struggles. Depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses suck and are often not given the words they need, people don’t find the support they need. I’m so glad you got the support you needed, the love you needed because you and everyone struggling with a mental illness deserve it.
Lisa´s last [type] ..Heading Down Under
I will always be there to hold your hair back. And I know you’ll always return the favor. That’s what friends are for.
And you will get through this. You’ve done it before and I know you can do it again. Because you’re strong and awesome like that.
PrincessJenn´s last [type] ..It’s A Match
Go you!
What Jenn said up there. She says things better than I can. Consistently
I love you.
Lovely, my sweet friend.
I’m glad you have those people there for you – I know that I do as well, and you’re right, what would we do without them? Heres to you and your bravery! <3 Booyacacha!
Kellee´s last [type] ..B30 Final Update- Dun dun dun DONE!
This will pass my friend…as much as I hate with a sappy Hallmark card written by the Dahli Lama himself passion…it is true. Ive been in that dark pit and it’s nasty, cold and hopeless sinking feeling but I climbed out. And you will too.
Friends and support can come from anywhere and this amazing virtual world is more powerful than we will ever know.
Hugs
Kimberly´s last [type] ..What’s Funner Than Getting Needles Jammed In Your Spine
All my love for you, Nic. I’m glad people are there when you need.
Mandy´s last [type] ..Change of Pace
There is no shame or disappointment in exercising some self-care and making sure you are your healthiest self. You want to be as fit as possible, both physically and mentally, for when the time does arrive for Baby No. 2. That is what is best for you, for Paul, for Magoo, for the little person we have yet to meet.
I think it would be fair to say that all of us, your community, want you to be as healthy and happy as possible so that you can enjoy the embarrassment of riches your life holds.
I’d totally hold your hair back, but I’d so much rather be side by side in a jail cell with you. I’m making a list in my head of debaucherous undertakings…..
just want to wish you well and say good for you.
Hi Nicole-
Cheers to mothering! I loved your chat on Thursday! You are truly a special spirit! Thank you for holding it and including me!
I recently won The Stylish Blogger Award and now we are passing it onto you. Love the expertise and insight you bring to the parenting world. Congratulations! Find out the award details here: http://blog.birthtouch.com Namaste, Kathy
I’m sorry I missed that chat. I am so happy that you are receiving the kind of love and support that *truly* helps. Remember always that you are also a person who is part of that community, the person who reaches out and helps others. You put love out into the world and it always, always, finds its way back to you. Karma, baby! The very best kind!
Barnmaven´s last [type] ..We have a plan
I’m so glad that you are finding support from the online community. I hope everyone helps give you all you need to get through this.
Otter´s last [type] ..Monster Jam