red
this post is for the writing prompt at studio 30 + where i am currently navigating the waters and dabbling back into fiction, which i haven’t done for a while… and it feels kinda nice.
this week’s prompt was RED.
leaving her mother’s, she gained this intense combination of feeling both alive and petrified at the same moment. she pulled back the sliding glass door, stepped on the snow that covered the back deck, and quietly closed the door behind her.
regardless of the number of times she has snuck out of her mother’s house, the same thrill of leaving along with the fear of getting caught resonated in deeply within her body, and it was as though she had woken up from an exquisite night’s sleep.
the bitter cold may have had something to do with her awakening as well.
pulling her winter coat around her tiny frame, she adjusted her satchel and began her walk. only a half mile until she reached her destination, but it was freezing out. even still, she couldn’t risk taking her own car. the noise of simply starting it would wake her mother.
it was only half after 3 in the afternoon and already her mother had been passed out for almost an hour. as per usual, she checked that her mom was still breathing and wasn’t holding a lit cigarette before she snuck out the sliding glass door.
while she walked, she thought of the cigarettes… how many were lit… how many had burnt holes in the carpet, the couch, clothing. she thought of the empty bottles of smirnoff and those fucking red labels that just screamed “ATTENTION ATTENTION, I AM A CHEAP THRILL.”
her speed quickened as she felt herself grow more and more angry. resentful. disgusted.
beyond the 4-way stop, she saw the gas station and the brake lights on the truck.
her destination. for the next 2 hours she would be free.
she smiled.
the passenger side door was unlocked. she tossed her satchel in the back seat, hopped in the front, and put on her seat belt.
the driver, a 42 year old man, nodded his head at her and gave her a soft smile. there was shame in his eyes. embarrassment.
looking at him, her heart softened and she reached into the back seat to retrieve her satchel.
she pulled out the workbook, red letters on the cover, spelling out “3rd grade mathematics.”
with the workbook in her lap, she reached over and gently placed her hand on top of his.
“let’s get to work,” she said assuredly.
he put the truck in drive and turned left out of the gas station, towards the public library.
wordlessish wednesday- hot edition
sexy man in the kitchen… hot.
sexy man spending quality time with kiddo… very hot.
sexy man spending quality time with kiddo in the kitchen… OFF THE CHARTS HOT!!!
the fact that they made ooey gooey chocolatey brownies was just a bonus.
sometimes i get in my own way
jackson and i were invited to have a play date today with the lovely dana of feast after famine. unfortunately for us all, kids included, i farked it all up.
why, you ask? why on earth would i fark up a play date with a wonderful woman who has FOUR beautiful kids that would’ve entirely worn out my ONE child, which would possibly have given me a tantrum-less afternoon? an afternoon where perhaps jackson would’ve napped longer than usual… maybe even snuggled on the couch with me while reading quietly instead of throwing toys at me, running after the dog to pull his tail, demand “MORE FRUIT SNACKS MOM” and then scream like a banshee when i say “no more.”
WHY GOD, WHY?!?!
because i got in my own way.
and i HATE when i do this… i second guess plans and then feel the need to double check things.
i never double checked my math homework, ever. but i double check nearly everything related to my child.
so last night i send dana a message on facebook asking if we’re still good for our date, how did her evening go (because ya know, she has a litter of children as opposed to my single spawn), etc etc…
anything can happen with kids. ANYTHING. you really never know.
i learned that lesson, once again, two weeks ago when paul and i had given jackson a bath with these color tablets that change the color of the water in the tub, thereby giving us the most content child in the universe.
jackson woke up the next morning and spent the following 4 days covered in hives due to the dye in said color tablets.
like i said, you never know.
dana lives a solid hour away from me, so i knew i would have to consider the fantastic DC traffic situation and leave my abode pretty early in the hopes of avoiding traffic as much as possible.
i left that message for dana at 10:45 last night. 10:45!!! what on earth was i thinking, aside from the fact that paul and i were still up watching “castle,” and so it is to be assumed that the rest of the world is still awake too.
i check my messages this morning. no word from dana.
so, instead of packing up jackson, taking a half-shower, and hitting the road, i second guessed myself. i thought to myself, “hmm… maybe she has a sick kiddo.” i said, “self, what if you get stuck on the beltway when she calls and says she’s on her way to the hospital because one of her kids cut off the pinky finger of another kid and we have to reschedule?” i said to paul, “so i didn’t hear back, you think i should still go?”
i completely got in my own way… thereby farking up the potentially perfect play date.
time passes, i realize that traffic is getting worse and worse and then i receive a message from dana, APOLOGIZING TO ME because she went to bed at a reasonable hour (obviously not a fan of “castle” but i won’t hold that against her) and didn’t get my message until this morning.
she wonders if we’re still coming… DOH!!!
i message her back, explaining my crazy, apologizing perfusely, and then i proceed to cry into the pan of brownies that paul and jackson made last night, because i realize that today is going to be yet another day that makes me wish preschool was a 5 day a week program and not just MWF.
lesson learned: double check your math homework. never double check plans that involve your child being occupied by a previously arranged play date.
also, brownies are a fantastic breakfast food.
he’s just not that into it
“jackson, just take your pants off and try it.”
“no.”
“but all the big boys are doing it… don’t you want to be a big boy?”
“i don’t want to be big.”
“ok well what about the superhero underwear you picked out this morning? don’t you want to wear those?”
“no. i don’t like the supermans underwearses.”
“why not?”
“they’re too small.”
“what?”
“they’re too small for me.”
“ok, so you want to wear daddy’s underwear?”
::nodding::
“fine. take off your diaper.”
“no. i want my diaper on.”
“but you don’t wear a diaper underneath the underwear. you just wear the underwear.”
“I DON’T LIKE THE UNDERWEARSES.”
“do your friends at school wear underwear?”
“no.”
“how about your teachers? don’t they wear underwear and pee in the potty?”
“no.”
“ok, so ms. julie wears a diaper too?”
“mmhmm.”
“but don’t you want the candy?”
“mmhmm. i can have one pleeeeaaaasssse?”
“when you wear your underwear and use the potty, you can get a candy.”
“no.”
“alright. so maybe we’ll try again tomorrow?”
“umm… probably NO. I NEVER EVER NEVER PEE IN THE POTTY.”
if needed, i can be found in the bathroom, repeatedly banging my head against the wall, consuming this entire jar of m&ms.
out of dayquil (and a bit of obligation)
you know that strange feeling you get when you haven’t blogged in a while? and by “a while” i mean more than like 2 days… more like 5 days… like today would be my day 5 of not blogging if i weren’t blogging this right now.
that feeling.
and though i’m usually the one who is very much ok with “eh, i’m taking a break for a bit… stepping away from the ledge… being offline… going ROGUE…” it starts to feel weird after a bit.
then, if you’re anything like me, you end up traveling to visit family, playing the role of navy wife for a bit, and returning home to reality and the early onset of your fourth (yes, fourth) sinus infection of the season.
it dawns on you that “shit, i haven’t blogged in a while…” and then you realize you owe people guest posts that you said you would write, but your head is so clogged with snot that you not only can’t think straight, you can’t blow your nose out of your nose.
you blow your nose out of your eye instead.
but you still want to blog. at least in your own space. your own little niche that has been a teensy bit neglected. so you apologize to your blog. you caress it and whisper sweet nothings into its ear. promise to never leave it again.
and then you start a post and you realize you are talking about yourself in the third person, have hundreds of photos from your brother-in-law’s winging to edit, are running out of dayquil at a rapid pace, and should probably call your doctor for yet another z-pack (though you wonder if the z-pack is just a placebo… or perhaps your building up an immunity to the antibiotic you’ve popped in your mouth as though they were peanut butter m&ms.)
regardless, you choose to post, while webmd-ing “can you blow snot out of your eye” at the same time and not coming up with the results you were hoping for.
in other news, while attending my brother-in-law’s winging, i learned that south texas is 86 degrees at the same time that maryland is 36 degrees. i also learned that my son turns 3 in mere weeks and i have not done a thing to prep for it yet… my husband calls this “working under pressure.”
also new to the learning curve is this whole idea of spring break, which once seemed fantastic when one could go to florida and mexico with friends and be rebellious and without parental units (yeah, remember that?) and make idiotic mistakes.
now, it just seems icky with a side of STDs.
Have a Sip
