with 10 weeks to go in this pregnancy (HOLY SHIT!) i’ve moved well beyond the realm of maternity purchases and in to the lovely land of postpartum purchases. i never wore a lot of maternity clothes during my pregnancy with jackson, and the same holds true of my pregnancy with pickle. i invested in a 2 pairs of good (expensive) maternity jeans, and the remainder of the time, i’m either in maxi dresses, high waisted leggings with tunics, or elastic waisted loungewear a la target.

(ok fine, there are plenty of times i just go sans pants, but that’s behind closed doors and usually involves a dance party with my almost 4 year old who also prefers to go pantless at times.)

“the pickle cave” (since we’re not doing a nursery in this house with us moving back into our old house this fall… see big long ridiculous story here) consists of a bassinet on wheels, a changing table/chest of drawers, and a diaper cart contraption, all of which are currently housed in our poor excuse for a third bedroom, which is really more like a “bonus room” because it includes our washer/dryer. oh yeah, and a queen bed is back there for guests.

you totally want to come stay at my house now, i can tell. take a number.

in addition to establishing pickle’s mobile nursery, the baby gear is all out and washed, onesies and booties and these killer baby leg warmers have all been drefted and delicately placed in drawers. i even purchased a headband, people. A HEADBAND. me. i purchased one. it has a pink flower on it, if you must know. and yes, i am proud of myself, thankyouverymuch.

case in point, we’re ready… as ready as we can be, all things considered. so, i’ve continued to move forward, as one does, and look towards postpartum prepping. i’m scoping out diaper bags, though i am not a fan of diaper bags AT ALL. i’ve purchased some nursing tanks as i hope to be a breast feeding champion this go-round. given the climate that we now live in and the fact that it’s 72 degrees in mid february, i’m assuming that come april, i will be living in nursing tanks sans pants and stretchy bottoms. all things considered, i think i’m due for a break when it comes to nursing and if i’m buying clippy nursing tank tops, you best be ready to get your boob feedings on. (you listening pickle? let’s rock this!)

and speaking of nursing, let’s talk more about boobs for a minute. in month number 7 of this here pregnancy, it seems as though everything is getting LARGER around here. in fact my mailman commented to me just the other day, “you get bigger and bigger each time i see you.” and aside from the eye roll i gave him, i genuinely asked, “well, isn’t that the idea?”

(people are strange when it comes to talking to pregnant women. we don’t try to make you feel uncomfortable around us. come to think of it, our pregnancy has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. so it’s perfectly ok if you feel so awkward around us that you simply don’t say anything. in fact, it’s welcomed.)

in addition to my kid growing by the millisecond and my ever-expanding uterus that knows no bounds, my boobs have hopped on this gravy train, which i suppose is fantastic not only for my husband’s current viewing pleasure but also because i plan on putting them to good use in the near future.

jackson is very interested in boobs lately because we have enlightened him to the ways of breast feeding. ah yes, that wide eyed, “MILK COMES OUT OF YOUR BOOPS, MOM?” moment when you realize you have done permanent damage on your child’s brain has happened. it’s worked out quite nicely though. jackson has been sharing with us all of the things he wants to help out with when pickle comes (none of these things includes diaper changing which is bullshit). naturally, when he told paul and i that he wants to feed pickle when he holds her, paul and i shared an “oh shit” moment and then down the rabbit hole we went with the breast feeding explanation.

“jackson and daddy can feed her from bottles…”

“ALL THE TIME! ALL THE MILK! SHE WILL BE HUNGRY!”

“yes, babies are very hungry. but she will also be drinking from mommy too because mommy’s boobs will have milk for your baby sister.”

“AND THEN I CAN FEED HER WITH MY BOOPS TOO!”

“no. boys don’t…”

“GIRLS HAVE BIG BOOPS!”

“yes, girls have bigger boops boobs than boys do so that they can one day feed their babies.”

“I CAN FEED HER BOTTLES OF MILK WITH DAD?”

“yes. you can feed her bottle of milk with dad. and i will feed her from my boops boobs.”

while he seemed to grasp the concept at the time, he showed me just how much he truly understood as we shopped through target the other night. i was stocking up on elastic waist lounge pants in the pajama section of target when i heard “MOM, I FOUND YOU SOME NEW BIGGER BOOPS!” from my son, and then saw him barreling at me, holding two of the largest bras my eyes have ever seen.

“no bud. those aren’t boobs. and see? no milk either.”