i turned 30 yesterday.
i felt like i had FINALLY joined the cool kidz club, kinda like i had been granted the key to the city (whateverthehell that means when someone gets that… how do you get a key to a city? where’s the door?)
i felt like i had an all-access backstage pass to a justin bieber concert (minus the squeals because that’s just annoying as shit).
i felt like i had an invitation to join the sorority of my choosing (so what if i quit my sorority in college? though you can never truly quit because you learned the secret codes and handshakes… except that i forgot all of that by the time i was a sophomore.)
point being… i had been looking forward to this birthday, and i’m not even a birthday person.
when i was in middle school, we lived in chicago. surprising, right? i even referred to coke as “pop.” i don’t like to talk about it.
anyway, my mom planned a surprise birthday party for me one year and i’m fairly certain it ruined my take on birthdays for the rest of my life. she meant well and probably has no idea how traumatized i was at the time, but MOM, IT WAS MIDDLE SCHOOL. C’MON!!!
she had invited a group of my friends over to my house for a birthday breakfast… except, she had all of my friends arrive at the house at 6 am and WAKE ME UP.
what? not traumatizing enough for you?
I HAD HEADGEAR Y’ALL. yeah, remember headgear?
so, we had breakfast… i don’t recall taking a shower because there wasn’t enough time before we all piled into both of my parents’ cars and they drove us the less than a mile that it took to get to school.
they made me wear balloons tied to my backpack. ALL DAY. and we wore our backpacks to each class because the campus was so stinkin spread out that there wasn’t enough time to go to your locker before the bell rang for your next class to begin.
i didn’t even have time to take the curling iron to my hair that morning, and i remember thinking about that all throughout the day.
needless to say, i’m not a big birthday person… til i anticipated the beginning a new decade. i love the idea of renewal and tabula rasa and all that good stuff.
so this morning, the morning that i am 30 and 1 day, i woke up looking like a super model.
no headgear.
just my husband admiring my abundant beauty and orange legs that i coated in self tanner last night while i watched tv in my birthday suit and drank wine. good wine. a lot of good wine.
