when hanging out on the internet
here’s the thing… strapless bras serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever. none. i’m all for bra burning, but with strapless bras, i would bring gasoline to that party.
i believe the intended purpose for the strapless bra is that women look as though they are wearing a bra (i.e. no nippige, no sagging, plump pillows of lusciousness) without actually seeing the bra; however, when you think about it and truly dissect the strapless bra, you come to understand that people see it anyways because you’re always fucking adjusting it.
it always slips down. always. and you hike it back up. always.
therefore, it becomes known that you are wearing a strapless bra.
pointless. absolutely pointless. kind of like your appendix. except you don’t have to adjust your appendix. unless you have it removed because it explodes on you. i would consider that an adjustment.
same goes for the thong. the point is to look as though you’re not wearing underwear. so you wear the string up your ass and then time passes and it gets uncomfortable and you find some way to shimmy yourself just right in order to pluck said string from your ass and go about your day.
of course once you go in to pluck your thong from between your ass cheeks, your boss calls you in to a meeting and 4 of your coworkers look over at you while your hand is fishing in your bum.
pointless, people. pointless.
keeping all that in mind, here’s where i’ll be hanging out this weekend…
click on the button above, or click here to take a peak at the current giveaways going on. then get yourself comfy and join us this weekend as we let it all hang out.
back by popular demand
3 years ago, one of my dearest online friends, jenn and i came up with the idea to have a shindig of sorts for those of us who are at home (for whatever reason) during the BlogHer conference.
last year, we passed the hosting duties on to two amazing women, lu and jen, who worked their hot asses off while jenn and i made sweet love in NYC.
… and so we’re back! from outer space! i just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face…
we’ve kicked this year off with a frickin ridiculous giveaway, A FULL WORDPRESS DESIGN AND 1 YEAR OF HOSTING, and we would love for you to join us in the fun.
there’s plenty more to come in the week ahead, as we prepare for partying on our couches.
so, pop on over to blogherathome.com, take off your bra, mix a cocktail, and enjoy!
we truly are here for your entertainment. (did someone mention boobs?)
a list of awesome and hot
i’m entirely behind on pretty much everything at this moment. we just got home from one wedding and we have 3 more to go in the next 7 weeks, which means that i am UP TO HERE with laundry and dry cleaning so that we can turn around and repack our hanging bag full of uncomfortable dress clothes and spanx.
for the record, spanx totally serve their purpose and i’m very grateful for the ones that have the pee hole in them because pulling those things down to pee and then back up is next to impossible, especially after consuming wine. so thank you for the pee hole, spanx.
(no, they did not pay me to say that. i’m just generous.)
where was i???
ah yes, i’m behind on everything…
1) groceries
2) photography projects
3) deadlines… self-imposed and non-self-imposed
4) web projects
5) finishing the book
6) blogging
7) washing my hair
figuring out why this stupid smiley icon with sunglasses is in place of #8 of my list
9) emailing artist about new tattoo concept
10) writing about new tattoo concept
11) responding to emails that have sat in my inbox for way too long
12) making fun of pitches i have received (stop calling me “Mrs. Bottle”)
13) reading up on YOUR blogs
14) bills ::headdesk::
15) keeping up with blogher@home
16) potty-training the magoo
17) promoting the calendar i got naked for
18) spraying myself with tan in a can b/c it’s too damn hot to go outside
19) researching preschools for the magoo
20) bathing
21) cleaning my kitchen that is fruit-fly-infested *gag*
in other news… my husband is hot and he watches out for paparazzi. due to his hotness, the above list has gone to shit.
riddle me this and put on some pants
*UPDATE* speaking of building friendships and community, i’m guest posting over here today. i’m flattered to have the opportunity and stoked to share some blog love. so click on the little survey down below, then scroll back up and click here to continue the hand-holding and singing of kumbaya. kthanks.
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there’s this wee little babe that was once created by a dear friend and i with the purpose of building relationships and friendships through an online community during the exact same weekend that other bloggers would be attending a conference that serves a similar purpose in real life.
if you’re curious as to HOW BlogHer@Home.com became the lovely lass she is today… click here and then read our love story and THEN ask (or remind) yourself WHY BlogHer@Home?
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done with our history lesson?
so, answer me this, oh readers of mine… WHY AREN’T YOU PARTICIPATING?
this year we have two INCREDIBLE WOMEN who are cohosting and we have a RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF GIVEAWAYS.
so, in order to find out what gives, i’m conducting a poll… it’ll remain anonymous, unless you want to leave a comment below with your info.
i wanna know, why aren’t y’all participating, getting free shit, connecting with people through @BlogherAtHome on twitter and watching the hashtag for #BHAH to see when winners for giveaways are announced, when twitter parties are coming up, and how this whole thing is going down?
what's stopping you from participating in BlogHer@Home?
- WTF is Blogher @ Home? (46%, 6 Votes)
- i'm too busy and have short term memory loss (23%, 3 Votes)
- the giveaways don't interest me (15%, 2 Votes)
- i don't wear pants and would rather look at porn (15%, 2 Votes)
- i'm going to NYC and don't care (1%, 0 Votes)
Total Voters: 13
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Have a Sip
