my dog may have had a seizure today. i’m not sure because i’ve never seen a dog have a seizure before. i haven’t seen a person have a seizure before either. it’s safe to say that i know nothing about seizures. i should’ve paid more attention in biology, but then again, i turned out getting a degree in english literature so obviously biology was not my thing.

my kid has hives… again. he had them a few weeks ago because a certain male father figure overdosed jackson’s bath tub with color changing tablets. apparently jackson is allergic to the dye in the tablets. who knew?

there was already weird shit going on today from the beginning… i had this horrible dream that caused me to wake up in the midst of a panic attack and choke down a xanax for breakfast. dropped off jackson at school, called my mom to tell her about my horrible panic attack inducing dream, came home, had coffee.

then i made the mistake of being link baited by babble which just pissed me off because i hate being link baited and for a moment considered writing all about that, but then i just spewed my pissed offedness to a friend, who validated my feelings, as she felt very much the same way i did.

i grab a quick shower because after being link baited, i felt dirty and in need of cleansing my body and soul. i continue to talk with my friend in segments after my shower, as i dry my hair, find a clean pair of jeans, etc… because, ya know, i was angry.

but i was already angry and had already had a panic attack about that damn dream.

i go get jackson from school. he wants fruit snacks, as per usual, and we’re out because i didn’t go grocery shopping yesterday because the weather was absolutely terrifying and made me want to crawl into a hole with my son and protect him. the hole probably would not have been even as dark as the sky was yesterday. i’m tellin ya… mother nature man… mother nature is pissed.

so we stop at the grocery store. i get a few things… fruit snacks, self tanning lotion (because while yesterday was scary rainy stormy dark doom weather, today is 55 and sunny) for my nearly translucent looking legs, ground beef, apples, pretzel nuggets, i don’t know what else… but more.

we fill up the car with the groceries and shlep next door to rite aid because the state of maryland is dumb and does not allow grocery stores to sell liquor. so we have to go to another store to get liquor. i didn’t even want liquor, people of maryland, i wanted wine… and hair product… and advil pm… and jackson wanted a mini garbage truck that he broke within 30 minutes of being home.

once we were home, i quickly made jackson’s lunch whilst putting the groceries away. i look over at the dog and he’s laying on his bed, head resting on the corner of it, but his head is shaking. he’s awake, eyes open, watching me put ground beef in the freezer (it’s paul’s night to cook, ha!) but his head is shaking. just his head and it’s kinda twitching/shaking. not like he has an itch, not like he’s panting because he wasn’t panting.

i stop putting away my groceries and just watch him for a minute or two. the shaking stops. i question myself and think that i’m seeing things and waiting for pictures to start flying off the walls and trees to evaporate into thin air because, ya know, mother nature is angry.

i head back to the bedroom to get my laptop and chord and notebooks and gear to set up office out on the kitchen table. typically i work from the kitchen table during jackson’s nap. i set my laptop on the kitchen table with other accoutrements and look back at the dog. his head is shaking again. the twitchy/shakey thing. and again, no other part of him is moving but his head, and he’s entirely awake.

with jackson content on the couch, eating his lunch and watching sesame street, i call paul and sit on the floor with the dog. i pet his head and after a few seconds, the shaky/twitchy shit stops. so paul is all “should i come home?” and i’m all “i don’t know, it could be nothing.” and paul’s all, “well was it like a seizure?” and i’m all “I DON’T KNOW MAN, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A DOG HAVE A SEIZURE OR A HUMAN HAVE A SEIZURE BUT I’M TRYING NOT TO FREAK OUT ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO WORRY JACKSON.”

paul comes home. i had remained on the floor with the dog, just telling jackson that i was giving him a little extra love, but that “red’s fine. he just wants snuggles like jackson wants snuggles sometimes.” when the dog hears paul’s keys in the door, he hops up and runs to paul like he is perfectly fine. then he runs over to where his tennis ball stash is and indicates that he wants to play and is absolutely and completely fine. and he’s been fine since.

weird shit.

then… jackson finishes lunch and it’s about half an hour til his nap time, so i go ahead and get him out of his school clothes and change his t-shirt. the kid is covered in hives. HIVES AGAIN. WTF?!?! jackson is all “mom, i have the bumps again!!” paul administers benedryl. i wrestle jackson to put hydrocortizone cream on him though it serves no purpose because them he runs over to his carpet and rubs it all off.

i shoot a quick email to jackson’s preschool teacher, asking what they did today that may have affected jackson… did they snack on anything different, play on anything different, etc… still waiting to hear.

paul leaves to go back to work after i reassure him that i’ll do my best to get my mind off my dream and not have another panic attack, tell him that i’ll keep an eye on the dog, we’ll see how jackson is after his nap, bla bla bla…

after putting jackson down for his nap, i sit down at my laptop and check my email to find a query from a freelance writer, asking to guest post on my blog. i’ve never received one of these before. usually when i get weird emails or queries, i forward them to my friend and she says, “nic, it’s spam. learn what spam is and stop forwarding me this shit.”

instead of pestering my friend, who i had already pestered with this morning because of the frickin link bait that pissed me off, i take it to twitter and ask twitter what to do when receiving an email from someone asking to do a guest post on your blog WHEN THE CONTENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CONTENT OF YOUR BLOG.

the twitter was hilarious and fantastic with responses… i got everything from “ignore it” to “no” to “tell them something polite and then imagine yourself squeezing their heads” to “i had to start including that in my ‘about’ page because link farm type posts.”

twitter is amazing.

i don’t ignore it. because, ya know what? today has already been strange enough. i reread the query and the person who sent it offered a few links to other posts… about global warming and making sure not to eat too much red meat.

WTF?!?!

i respond to the query in probably a strange and bitchy way, but ya know what? if you’re going to query someone about something, at least KNOW a little bit about who you are reaching out to. just a little bit… a pinch of something so that when we read your query, we feel like you have at least visited our blog before emailing us.

so it’s just now the early afternoon, and i’m wondering what’s next. the dog is resting at my feet and his head is still at the moment. jackson is napping, and i’m assuming his hives will have spread like wildfire when he wakes up because he sweats like a marathon runner when he sleeps. and ya know, hives breed and multiply and like hot sweaty little bodies like that.

as irritating as it is to be unable to purchase beer and wine in the same store that one purchases groceries in, i’m very glad i made that extra trip into rite aid today. i will be that much more glad come 5 pm.

because the world is ending, red meat is poisonous, my dog may have had a seizure, and my kid has hives… again.