reach
he grows during his naps.
rooting himself deeper into the soil while reaching for the sun at the same time.
we read a story together. i cover the words. he turns the pages. we laugh.
the end. close the book. a few minutes to snuggle.
i turn the light out, adjust the blinds in his room.
his arms are held out towards me. i pull the sheets up and tuck his “friends” in next to him, lay his blankey across.
a hug. a kiss. comb his hair with one hand.
whisper in his ear.
mommy loves jackson.
a quick time later, he wakes to come find me.
ready for a new adventure. a game. a movie. a puzzle. a ride in the car.
stretching in the daylight.
demands. requests. desires.
full sentences that blow my mind.
mom, i’d like some juice pleeeeaaaase?
i try to listen. and on my good days, i’m able to accomplish that task.
on my not-so-good-days i yearn for him to listen to me.
as a baby, the demands were inexplicably hard.
and constant. and loud.
the whimpers that crescendo into cries and then wails and deafening screams.
tears and rain drops.
whisper in his ear.
mommy loves jackson.
and somehow he hears that. the whisper resonates.
i feel his physical release of grief.
then i can breathe.
the tee-shirt creeps up his belly as he sleeps.
when he wakes, smelling of sleepy sweat, it looks two sizes too small.
because it is.
he stretches higher this time.
i forget too often that i am growing with him.
blocked
your daddy and i love you very much. even when you’re a grub face.
and we know how much you like your “snuggles and love.”
…your VERY CLOSE IN YOUR FACE “snuggles and love.”
we enjoy it too.
but, if you ever want a baby brother or sister, you gotta give us a little breathing room.
(one day you’ll understand.)
love,
mom and dad
clearly i just don’t give a shit anymore
this would typically be a week that would slaughter me. i am single-parenting jackson (starting yesterday) as paul is doing some conference thing with navy people which means early mornings and late nights and too many acronyms.
jackson is trying what eensy teensy bit of patience i have with his “I’M A THREE YEAR OLD AND THAT MEANS LIFE IS WORSE THAN WHEN I WAS TWO” with a side of “HOME ALL SUMMER WITH NO SCHOOL, NO CAMP, NO NOTHING.”
oh, and we’re all road tripping at the end of the week to go house hunting.
::MANIACAL LAUGHTER::
so yeah, i normally freak out a bit when i start to think about all the emails that need to be sent, calendars that need to be coordinated, phone calls that need to be made, researching house info and mortgage info and ZOMG the lease on paul’s car is up.
the house is a wreck simply because it’s not a priority this week.
laundry is a priority. we’re going to be living out of duffel bags and backpacks for 10 days. smelly clothes and shoes in an enclosed space, LIKE A CAR, make me nervous.
cleaning out all of the leftovers from last week that’s still in the fridge because we thought we’d eat it this weekend and didn’t because we’d rather order chinese is a priority.
there’s not much worse than returning home from a trip to a kitchen that smells like rancid death by coleslaw… except maybe a diaper genie that wasn’t emptied before leaving for said trip.
::GAG::
keeping jackson occupied is a priority because if he’s not occupied, i can’t get anything accomplished. like right this moment, he’s not occupied so he is climbing into my lap and asking for a movie while squirting blue gatorade out of his mouth.
and i’ll probably turn it on because i’m that kind of a stellar mother right now. don’t judge me because i let my kid watch what you think is too much tv. judge me because i give my kid sugary, crack-laced, gatorade.
i bow to all of you who are single parents. you’re absolutely incredible.
this week may be kinda kooky. i may forget what day it is a time or two, but let’s be honest, i never really know what day of the week it is anyways. i will most likely not empty the dishwasher and reload it because by the time i put jackson down for bed, i’m going to dive face first into the couch. and i will most definitely leave something crucial in our house and remember it when we are hours into our road trip.
this week will be one of skipping breakfast because we’re not interested but eating two hotdogs and fruit loops for lunch because we’re famished and then reheating macaroni and cheese for dinner.
which reminds me, we’re running low on tater tots.
but but but… WAIT!!!!!!!!!!
haley joel osment taught himself not to blink when filming the sixth sense.
i tried to not blink, just now while sitting in front of my laptop.
my eyes started to water and i lost the contest against myself in under 30 seconds.
TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, HALEY JOEL OSMENT!
because this… THIS… keeps happening. and it’s crazy.
Have a Sip
