suggle?
jackson talks incessantly. i’m grateful because i can see and experience him seeing and experiencing, taking everything in and reporting back.
“i’m ok? i fine.”
“phone. call. pops? mahdaddy?”
“cakes. pan cakes. LIKE cakes!!!”
“crying… CRYING… CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“dog.”
“TWO dog.”
“all done.”
“yuckies. mom YUCKIES!!!” (tugs at diaper)
“no potty. bath???”
“PLAAAAAAAANE.”
“windy.”
“rain? sun. bright sun.”
“swing. wee. slide.”
“play play play outside.”
“rocks. no throw.”
“dirt. stick. play.”
“baketbawl.”
“soccahbawl.”
“birdie…. CAWWWW!!!!”
“ride? ride? car? NOM NOMS.”
“juice. more juice. more peeeeeeeeas.”
“horn. cow.”
“se-a-me. elmo. ernie. big bird. BIIIIIIIIG bird.”
“moo cow. MOOOOOOOOOOOOO cow.”
“eledents. BIIIIIIIIIG eledents.” (elephant noise)
“i’m ok. i’m ok.”
“mommy up. mommy down. no down.”
“mess.”
“OH NO mess.”
“treat? prize? monkey?” (monkey noise)
“moose. BIIIIIIG moose.”
“foobawl.”
“fubble foobawl.”
“books. frog books. green frogs. jump.”
“suggle??? mom… suggle??? mommy… suggle???”
*heart melts*
“yes baby, let’s go suggle.”
then we lay on the rug in his bedroom and my son crawls and jumps all over me. it’s not exactly “snuggling,” but it works for us.
thank you, maggie
today marks the first anniversary celebration of Violence UnSilenced… the place that gave me the strength to speak out last august and share my story.
it is all thanks to maggie, that i was able to do this…
***EDITED: 5:27 pm***
after spending the majority of today, watching this video repeatedly, dancing with my beautiful son and then seeing him recognize me in the video and exclaim “MOMMY!!!!!!” i asked for maggie’s permission to embed the actual video on my blog so that you readers don’t even have to click to go elsewhere to witness the awesome empowerment that takes place when people come together and SPEAK OUT!!!!
evolution of the stink face
8 week old magoo
7 month old magoo
13 month old magoo
yesterday, 21 month old magoo
i am becoming my mother
i love my mother. truly. deeply.
she and i are connected in unspeakable and unimaginable and incredible ways. she is my BEST friend… she is the woman i yearn to become every day. i breathe my mother. i speak my mother. she is the embodiment of all that is good, true, real and honest in not only motherhood but womanhood.
she is not someone you want to cross.
i love my mother. truly. deeply.
she, being 50-whatever (not that it matters) is fantastically gorgeous. should i look as good as she does now when i am her age, i will consider myself unbelievably blessed. the best part about it is that she is humble. she’s one of those who has no idea, the depth of her beauty… which makes her that much more intriguing.
true beauty, true love
unassuming, unconditionally loving and unafraid… my mother will fight to the death for me and for what is mine, which now includes a family of my own.
(this is not to discount my father, my brother or my in-laws by any means. i am so grateful and blessed to know that jackson will be growing up with both sets of amazing grandparents, each bringing and so willingly offering their bits and pieces of wisdom and love to our son.)
i love my mother. truly. deeply.
sometimes she forgets things… mistakes things… doesn’t remember things. because with the wisdom of parenthood, grandparenthood and so forth comes forgetfulness.
i learned this lesson last night.
thanks to harry potter and half blood prince.
paul and i have been together for 10 years… and married for just over 5. we have come to associate the holidays with the release of either a harry potter movie or lord of the rings, if not both.
once the magoo entered our life, all of this changed.
priorities changed.
everything changed… for the better.
paul and i sat on our couch last night, thinking we had already seen harry potter and the half blood prince when in fact we had not. we bought the movie on-demand and upon seeing just the first few minutes, paused the movie and had the following conversation…
“have you seen this?” i asked paul.
“well i read the book…” he said.
“ok so this is the one where so and so… ya know… right?” i say
“well uh yeah… but hold on lemme double check on the computer.”
while he’s researching on the computer, i find myself going back through my head thinking “shit, this movie came out last summer… we had a 9 month old… we had moved… we were settled… we had no feeding tube coming out of our child’s nose… why the hell didn’t we see this in the theater?”
by the time i exit my own convoluted mind, and paul finishes his harry potter online research, it dawns on the both of us that… not only had we never seen this movie that we thought we had already seen, but…
WE HAVE BECOME OUR PARENTS.
forgetful. laughable. questionable.
beautiful.
we are parents. our priorities have changed. in a good way. in a way that suits us, as funny and silly as it may be. as agonizing and painful as it may be. as fantastic and joyful as it may be.
we are parents… and i am becoming my mother.
so, as i take a break from blogging over the holiday, while we travel and spoil our magoo rotten with the help of both sets of grandparents, i encourage those of you who are parents to take note of the wisdom our own parents have bestowed upon us. for those of you who are parents-to-be… wow! you have so much to look forward to! take notes! and REST! and for those of you who do not have parenthood anywhere near your radar… enjoy your holiday season, and have a round for me!
hell, have two.
***EDITED*** apparently hotdads took it upon themselves to give me an early christmas present, awarding me with a hot mama award. all i can say is thank you. i’ve got good genes… look at the lady above, my own mama.
so mom… this one is for both of us…
friday fumblings
i had a post all written out and ready to go, about how being the stay-at-home-parent has made me most recently wonder if i have “let myself go” in terms of my physical appearance.
vain? yes.
relevant? yes.
so the post was all good to go and philosophical and shit because i had written it earlier this week, when my sanity was still somewhat in tact, before i found myself getting very little sleep due to a certain 19 month old who seems to be getting his 2 year molars NOW.
the post remains in draft form because especially over the last two days, i answered my own question… i have totally let myself go. in my defense, the last two days have been somewhat survival mode for me, in an attempt to keep the magoo occupied, hoping he does not go into a vomiting cycle due to the teeth, etc…
and tiger woods… someone’s facebook status (i forget who wrote it or else i’d credit you, i’m sorry) yesterday said, “tiger is no longer a tiger… he’s a cheetah.”
i laughed. sorry. i did. i shouldn’t have. but with a consistently whining, occasionally screaming, unhappy toddler pulling at my limbs for the vast majority of the day, in a moment of weakness, i laughed.
then last night, while falling asleep, i couldn’t stop my mind. it just kept going. i counted sheep. i rested on my husband’s chest to listen to his heartbeat… eventually i rolled away from him and while asleep placed one hand on his shoulder.
it was this morning, while chugging my second cup of coffee that my husband told me that i kept scratching, tapping and sometimes squeezing his shoulder last night as he read his book and i slept.
i know exactly why i did it.
i was making sure he was still there.
because this week began with me pondering if i have let myself go, led to my toddler testing me in every possible way, and is ending with a friggin celebrity’s personal life mistake placed in the spotlight and on my mind when i wish it wasn’t.
**********
do you wonder if you have let yourself go? has “the cheetah” been on your mind when you wish it wasn’t? (and yeah, i still giggled when i typed that just now.)
**********
gotta run… magoo can’t decide between watching sid or sesame and has chosen to express his frustration in biting our leather ottoman. awesome.
Have a Sip
