Posts Tagged ‘celebrating’

i’m entirely behind on pretty much everything at this moment. we just got home from one wedding and we have 3 more to go in the next 7 weeks, which means that i am UP TO HERE with laundry and dry cleaning so that we can turn around and repack our hanging bag full of uncomfortable dress clothes and spanx.

for the record, spanx totally serve their purpose and i’m very grateful for the ones that have the pee hole in them because pulling those things down to pee and then back up is next to impossible, especially after consuming wine. so thank you for the pee hole, spanx.

(no, they did not pay me to say that. i’m just generous.)

where was i???

ah yes, i’m behind on everything…

1) groceries
2) photography projects
3) deadlines… self-imposed and non-self-imposed
4) web projects
5) finishing the book
6) blogging
7) washing my hair
figuring out why this stupid smiley icon with sunglasses is in place of #8 of my list
9) emailing artist about new tattoo concept
10) writing about new tattoo concept
11) responding to emails that have sat in my inbox for way too long
12) making fun of pitches i have received (stop calling me “Mrs. Bottle”)
13) reading up on YOUR blogs
14) bills ::headdesk::
15) keeping up with blogher@home
16) potty-training the magoo
17) promoting the calendar i got naked for
18) spraying myself with tan in a can b/c it’s too damn hot to go outside
19) researching preschools for the magoo
20) bathing
21) cleaning my kitchen that is fruit-fly-infested *gag*

in other news… my husband is hot and he watches out for paparazzi. due to his hotness, the above list has gone to shit.

i am soft, callused and bruised. freckled, sun-kissed and with a scab on my knee. crows feet form at the corners of my eyes when i smile.

i am scarred from falls and spills… from shaving my legs. scarred from a c-section. scarred from ink-filled needles.

i am giggly and silly in this skin. serious when needed, but not often. round in places that were once flat. squishy in places that were once tight. stretched yet sexy. still fun in this skin of mine.

i am anxious in this skin. worried at times that it’s not what it “should” be or what it used to be. it’s not what it used to be. it never will be. and i’m learning that’s ok because in this skin, i’m still me.

i am curious in this skin of mine. wondering what visible changes take place next, what more this body can take on and overcome. who i am to become in this skin.

proud of my curves and rolls that my skin now has… and watching the skin on my fingers tremble just to type that out…

proud.

**********

in this skin, i am being photographed by my husband.

a moment of intimacy that will last a lifetime.

**********

in this skin, i will be participating in a project that i am truly honored to be a part of… because it celebrates all of our skin and what it forms… our bodies. us.

i encourage you to visit the blogger body calendar project and learn how to celebrate your skin, your body, yourself, while sending a positive and uplifting message to those we love and care about so much.

please visit the blogger body calendar project on twitter as well… following the messages of encouragement and empowerment as myself and 11 other amazing bloggers journey together.

lastly, check out the blogger body calendar project on facebook, and “like” the page, sharing it with others.

thanks. a lot.

love,
nic’s skin

we let freedom ring… and then some. our sweet friends are moving in the upcoming weeks. their little beauties are jackson’s first little friends, and ya never forget that stuff, ya know?

so jackson just peed in the potty.

full man-style, standing up and all.

the number of drips doesn’t matter… right?

because this milestone led to the most awesome celebration with our magoo carting his potty around the apartment, eventually settling in the living room (b/c who doesn’t wanna sit on the toilet while watching tv?!?) and then EXCLAIMING what had just taken place.

CHEERS!!!

if you cannot view the video above, click here.

it’s no secret that i’ve been stung by the bug… THE bug.

it’s also no secret that i have referred to my IUD as “the sperminator” since having it err… inserted placed shortly after my 6 week post magoo birthing, now almost 2 years ago.

it is no secret that i have a husband whose sperm defied the birth control pill i had been on and taken religiously since i was 17 years old.

ladies and gents, let this be a lesson to us all that there is a reason why the pill is 98% effective… the other 2% is the magoo.

so all that being said, we’re now talking about magoo 2.0!!!

the thought of having another little nuglet and expanding our family even more thrills both paul and i.

we never had to have THE CONVERSATION… like the whole “Well, do you want a baby?” “I dunno, I mean are we ready for that?” “Well, I dunno but maybe we’re ready, whatever that means…” conversation because i didn’t know i was pregnant with jackson when i was indeed pregnant with jackson.

i digress… having THE CONVERSATION in itself is an interesting experience… it kinda reminded me of a game of “go fish” where you go back and forth and back and forth and friggin back and forth.

Me: “Well, do YOU think we’re ready for this?”

Him: “I guess… I mean, I know for sure I won’t be deployed for 18 months.”

Me: “OK, well that’s a good thing. So at least you’ll be around for this pregnancy…” (*snort* and heavy sarcasm since paul missed me in all my glory of the 3rd trimester and came home just in time for me to start hating life and sleep in the guest room while sitting up because of my righteous heartburn.)

Him: “Well yeah, I’ll be around… and I guess we’ll just see where we are sent after that.”

Me: “UGH NAVY!!!!”

*big sigh*

“go fish.”

so here’s the deal… there are quite a few things that need to fall into place in order for me to indeed be with child.

numero uno: MEGA importance… i need a KILLER OBGYN. i LOVED my last one and if you’re goina be all up in my biznass for 9 months and delivering the little body that comes out of my body, i need to be uber cool with you. also, you can’t be a dude. sorry. it’s nothing personal, men. i know there are FANTASTIC male OBGYNs out there in the world, but they will never be mine simply because i am a rape survivor and the ONLY man allowed ANYWHERE near my vag is my husband. period.

part B: i need a serious discussion with my doctor about properly weaning off my anxiety meds. i’ve done this before and there is one medication that i am capable of weaning myself off of because of my prior experience with it, but i have two others as well that i need to make sure i get off of the right way. so that’s a pretty big factor with me as well.

and three: i need to have the sperminator removed. i have the mirena IUD which has worked well for me, and not so well according to some of my blogging friends. there is no “waiting period” in terms of hormone regulation etc once it is removed. so once that sucker is out… well… you can figure that out yourself.

then again, any sort of waiting period really wouldn’t be an issue with us as paul’s sperm shoots through birth control like a sniper.

so THE APPOINTMENT was made last week. i got a FANTASTIC recommendation for a female OBGYN by my primary care doctor and made the “extraction appointment” for april 29th.

it should be noted that jackson turns 2 on april 22nd, one week before sperminator extraction.

it should also be noted that the morning following the sperminator extraction, april 30th, paul and i leave for a vacation to the dominican republic for 5 days.

will we come home with the seed planted for a dominican love-child? probably not. i will most likely still be in the midst of weaning off meds… and i most definitely want to enjoy the swim up tiki bar at the resort we are staying at.

after the vacay though… GAME ON!!!

and when the day comes that we do find out we are in deed with magoo 2.0, my liver will curse me for 9 straight months as i will be forced to deprive it of its wine.

it’s ok sweet liver… we’ll make it through…

today marks the first anniversary celebration of Violence UnSilenced… the place that gave me the strength to speak out last august and share my story.

it is all thanks to maggie, that i was able to do this…

***EDITED: 5:27 pm***
after spending the majority of today, watching this video repeatedly, dancing with my beautiful son and then seeing him recognize me in the video and exclaim “MOMMY!!!!!!” i asked for maggie’s permission to embed the actual video on my blog so that you readers don’t even have to click to go elsewhere to witness the awesome empowerment that takes place when people come together and SPEAK OUT!!!!

i love my mother. truly. deeply.

she and i are connected in unspeakable and unimaginable and incredible ways. she is my BEST friend… she is the woman i yearn to become every day. i breathe my mother. i speak my mother. she is the embodiment of all that is good, true, real and honest in not only motherhood but womanhood.

she is not someone you want to cross.

i love my mother. truly. deeply.

she, being 50-whatever (not that it matters) is fantastically gorgeous. should i look as good as she does now when i am her age, i will consider myself unbelievably blessed. the best part about it is that she is humble. she’s one of those who has no idea, the depth of her beauty… which makes her that much more intriguing.

unassuming, unconditionally loving and unafraid… my mother will fight to the death for me and for what is mine, which now includes a family of my own.

(this is not to discount my father, my brother or my in-laws by any means. i am so grateful and blessed to know that jackson will be growing up with both sets of amazing grandparents, each bringing and so willingly offering their bits and pieces of wisdom and love to our son.)

i love my mother. truly. deeply.

sometimes she forgets things… mistakes things… doesn’t remember things. because with the wisdom of parenthood, grandparenthood and so forth comes forgetfulness.

i learned this lesson last night.

thanks to harry potter and half blood prince.

paul and i have been together for 10 years… and married for just over 5. we have come to associate the holidays with the release of either a harry potter movie or lord of the rings, if not both.

once the magoo entered our life, all of this changed.

priorities changed.

everything changed… for the better.

paul and i sat on our couch last night, thinking we had already seen harry potter and the half blood prince when in fact we had not. we bought the movie on-demand and upon seeing just the first few minutes, paused the movie and had the following conversation…

“have you seen this?” i asked paul.

“well i read the book…” he said.

“ok so this is the one where so and so… ya know… right?” i say

“well uh yeah… but hold on lemme double check on the computer.”

while he’s researching on the computer, i find myself going back through my head thinking “shit, this movie came out last summer… we had a 9 month old… we had moved… we were settled… we had no feeding tube coming out of our child’s nose… why the hell didn’t we see this in the theater?”

by the time i exit my own convoluted mind, and paul finishes his harry potter online research, it dawns on the both of us that… not only had we never seen this movie that we thought we had already seen, but…

WE HAVE BECOME OUR PARENTS.

forgetful. laughable. questionable.

beautiful.

we are parents. our priorities have changed. in a good way. in a way that suits us, as funny and silly as it may be. as agonizing and painful as it may be. as fantastic and joyful as it may be.

we are parents… and i am becoming my mother.

so, as i take a break from blogging over the holiday, while we travel and spoil our magoo rotten with the help of both sets of grandparents, i encourage those of you who are parents to take note of the wisdom our own parents have bestowed upon us. for those of you who are parents-to-be… wow! you have so much to look forward to! take notes! and REST! and for those of you who do not have parenthood anywhere near your radar… enjoy your holiday season, and have a round for me!

hell, have two.

***EDITED*** apparently hotdads took it upon themselves to give me an early christmas present, awarding me with a hot mama award. all i can say is thank you. i’ve got good genes… look at the lady above, my own mama.

so mom… this one is for both of us…