when hanging out on the internet
here’s the thing… strapless bras serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever. none. i’m all for bra burning, but with strapless bras, i would bring gasoline to that party.
i believe the intended purpose for the strapless bra is that women look as though they are wearing a bra (i.e. no nippige, no sagging, plump pillows of lusciousness) without actually seeing the bra; however, when you think about it and truly dissect the strapless bra, you come to understand that people see it anyways because you’re always fucking adjusting it.
it always slips down. always. and you hike it back up. always.
therefore, it becomes known that you are wearing a strapless bra.
pointless. absolutely pointless. kind of like your appendix. except you don’t have to adjust your appendix. unless you have it removed because it explodes on you. i would consider that an adjustment.
same goes for the thong. the point is to look as though you’re not wearing underwear. so you wear the string up your ass and then time passes and it gets uncomfortable and you find some way to shimmy yourself just right in order to pluck said string from your ass and go about your day.
of course once you go in to pluck your thong from between your ass cheeks, your boss calls you in to a meeting and 4 of your coworkers look over at you while your hand is fishing in your bum.
pointless, people. pointless.
keeping all that in mind, here’s where i’ll be hanging out this weekend…
click on the button above, or click here to take a peak at the current giveaways going on. then get yourself comfy and join us this weekend as we let it all hang out.
back by popular demand
3 years ago, one of my dearest online friends, jenn and i came up with the idea to have a shindig of sorts for those of us who are at home (for whatever reason) during the BlogHer conference.
last year, we passed the hosting duties on to two amazing women, lu and jen, who worked their hot asses off while jenn and i made sweet love in NYC.
… and so we’re back! from outer space! i just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face…
we’ve kicked this year off with a frickin ridiculous giveaway, A FULL WORDPRESS DESIGN AND 1 YEAR OF HOSTING, and we would love for you to join us in the fun.
there’s plenty more to come in the week ahead, as we prepare for partying on our couches.
so, pop on over to blogherathome.com, take off your bra, mix a cocktail, and enjoy!
we truly are here for your entertainment. (did someone mention boobs?)
independence
this post is for the writing prompt “independence” that’s up over at studio 30+ this week.
she stared at the white, flaked chip on the mug until her coffee was cold. finally she took a sip. then another. and with the third sip, she drained the coffee and left the dregs at the bottom.
the air conditioning kicked on with a slow hum as she pushed herself away from the kitchen table. a small spider made its way up the edge of the white door frame.
for a split second, she entertained the idea of moving back in the house. it was certainly lovely and comfortable. but she had broken free of this house, this space, this life.
the eldest of 5, she was the executor of the will. how she had acquired such responsibility, she had no idea. but it was there. the weight of it all. resting in perfectly cylindrical knots atop her shoulders.
she reached behind her head and squeezed the decades of stress and obligation.
“get rid of it,” she told henry, who scribbled in his notebook and then shrugged at her sibblings.
everything would be auctioned off to the highest bidder. it would be in the papers. dollar signs and last names.
when her brother protested, she closed her eyes.
“just think about it first, j. we don’t have to decide right this minute.”
opening her eyes, she reached for the drained coffee mug. she regarded the chip, touching it with her index finger. applying pressure until the crimson droplet found its way to the surface and then bled onto the rim.
“get rid of it,” she said again, and threw the mug against the pantry door.
cries were heard in the background as she exited the house. her sister called after her, but knew she wouldn’t return. it was never her intention to be there in the first place.
she got in her car and found a band-aid underneath some napkins in her glove compartment. after tossing a used napkin out the window, she lit a cigarette and pulled out of the driveway.
updates and friday ridic-ness
i’m a little jumbled this morning and in need of some serious caffeine after a crippling migraine yesterday, so i’ll keep this short and sweet… and scattered all over the damn place.
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have you scoped out mah new threads? purty sexay, eh? many, MANY thanks to the lovely jenn for redesigning this perfectly imperfect blahg of mine.
if you’re jonesin to shed your current blog design and put on somethin new, i highly suggest you check out jenn’s design blog as well as her portfolio full of incredible, custom work.
she is the knees of the bees, ya’ll. THE. KNEES.
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silly jackson photo of distraction!
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ummm, what else…
oh yes! i’ve been enjoying myself with a new gig over at band back together, the brainchild of the infamous aunt becky. why she asked me of all people to join her crew, i dunno… but imma have to hop in the peace wagon one of these days and road trip it to see her and give her some lovin.
thank you, AB, for adding me to the brains behind the band.
if you’re not already following the band on teh twitterz, please do so. that is where you’ll find me, flinging glitter in all sorts of directions.
to contribute to the band, simply create a righteous air guitar solo, add more cowbell, and click here for the deets!
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what’s that? you want more silly jackson photo distraction?!?!
sorry for the blurry. he was on the move.
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speaking of the band… next week, while jackson and i are slummin in the ATL with my folks, i get to meet jana!!! jana is one of the editors for the band.
i’m so looking forward to seeing her for TONS of reasons, but mostly because she is just splendid and has a very beautiful heart.
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ABOOYAH!!!!!!!! silly photo of jackson distraction!!!
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also… ALSO… my friend, melissa has embarked on an incredible new adventure over at pigtail pals. introducing curious crickets!!! curious crickets is a line of BOYS t-shirts, of which you will be seeing jackson sport in the very near future.
melissa is a long time friend of mine, a fellow activist and advocate for women and girls. i am so proud of her!
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ok, ok… stop pestering… last silly jackson photo distraction…
clearly this child is trying to tell me something along the line of “i want back in the womb.”
or… he’s running over his own foot with the stroller.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!!!
Have a Sip
