gender issues

battle of the genitalia

each time jackson is out in public, he is assumed by others to be a girl.

“oh what a lovely girl…”

“your daughter has beautiful eyes.”

“goodness those curls on her are gorgeous!”

she looks like her mommy…”

jackson can be dressed head-to-toe in blue, one hand holding his sippy cup that has trucks on it, the other hand holding his toy trucks (he has a thing for trucks), and strangers will still assume and then comment that he is a girl.

if this happens when i’m the one out-and-about with jackson, i’ll say quite loudly, “HE” or “YOU MEAN MY SON,” or “HE’S A BOY,” and embarrass the hell out of the stranger, who then retreats to another aisle in the grocery store and cries.

paul uses a gentler method, “jackson, say thanks but i’m a boy.” (an apology is made, everyone smiles and makes friends. yay.)

granted, our son has long hair… long, curly hair.  (no, i’m still not cutting it.) but, to assume, and then comment with such certainty astounds me.

so paul and i were discussing this today over lunch…

paul: “let’s get jackson a tshirt that says ‘i have a penis.’”

nic: “or one that says, ‘mom wipes my weenie.’”

paul: laughs, recalling this post from earlier in the week.

nic: (continuing tshirt talk,) “wanna see my penis?”

nic: “just cuz my hair is long doesn’t mean i don’t have a schlong.”

this banter between the two of us goes on for a few minutes, and then i look at jackson eating lunch and realize that he’s drinking from a pink sippy cup.

DAMMIT!

upon finishing lunch, the three of us head to babies r us where we spend over $100 on a multitude of gender-defining items, including a pair of pajamas with skulls and cross-bones, blue and green sippy cups, and more trucks… always more trucks.

CUZ BOYS PLAY WITH TRUCKS!  BOYS!

sex, continued…

ha ha.  that got your attention, now, didn’t it?  you naughty readers…

i decided that i want to continue posting about women being the stronger sex (in my opinion) based on the following comment that i received from one of my fave dad-bloggers, jason, of outnumbered

“You see the thing is that we like being lame. We embrace being lazy. Before our wives came along, we were able to cook our own food, clean our own apartments, follow directions, read a map, socialize like human beings, laugh, act silly, dress ourselves and do a whole slew of things. Back then, nobody told us we were wrong or called us idiots. We just got shit done and you know what? It worked! We survived! You know what else? You found us, picked us out from the crowd and married us because you liked how we acted. How quickly one forgets. But now, everything we do is completely and utterly fucked up. Not because it’s wrong but because it’s not how YOU do it. So like a dog that is kicked one too many times, we just stop doing it. It’s much easier to get yelled at for not doing anything than it is to drag our fat asses off the couch and waste our time only to be told it’s not good enough. That’s my rant. Now… lets talk about how HOT chicks are when they get all pissed off. All this talk about chicks going gay etc… is making me crazy. Great post sista! I still love your blog…”

here’s what pisses me off, jason (since you wanna “talk about how HOT chicks are when they get all pissed off)… you (men) like being lame?!?  really?!?  you embrace being lazy?!?  

WHY????   

what’s there to like about that?  do you have any idea how not hot it is for a woman to see a lame ass, lazy man?  ugh!  and frustrating…  gawd!!!  how did you get anything done, like you mentioned, if you were a lame and lazy man?  and when were “those days” that you mention…  when you were in middle school?  when your mama did everything for you?  

speaking for myself, i married my hub for a number of reasons… one of which being that he looks hot in uniform.  we’ve been together since high school, where we both attended a catholic high school, which included us wearing uniforms (that he looked hot in), and he’s a pilot in the navy now, which comes with a uniform.  hot.  ultra hot.  married.  done.  hotness.

no where in there do i see lame or laziness…  maybe it’s just me.  i see assertiveness, respect, pride, diligence.  again, h-o-t.

i do however, see the point you make when you say that “everything we do is completely and utterly fucked up.  not because it’s wrong but because it’s not how YOU do it.”  i hear that.  i’m guilty of that.  (((slap on wrist)))

ultimately, i’m getting the sense that this is a double-edge sword we play with each other (and yes, i’m using “sword” to emphasize the phallic)…  i’m seeing more and more (what i consider to be) weak men and not liking it.  so what do we women do with that, my outnumbered friend?  just accept you for being the “lame” and “lazy” couch potatoes that some of you are?  

unacceptable.  unacceptable to me, as a woman…  and my hope that it would be unacceptable to men as well, but maybe that’s where i am wrong.  

***UPDATE***  let it be known, hub and i just arm wrestled tonight for the helluvit.  it was awesome!  i lost 3 rounds, of course….  but i put up a fight that i know my biceps will feel in the morning.  i love having a hub who supports me and my “work.”  give me a MAN any day, and leave the lazy ass at home in front of the TV.

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I'm a survivor. www.violenceunsilenced.com