growing right before my eyes

forward movement

i’m coming off of a week of sheer excellence with my family. when we drove away from my parent’s home yesterday, i wiped tears from my eyes because our time together had been THAT GREAT. the holidays are always hectic for us, chaotic and stressful, but for whatever reason, the time that my little family of three (with one in the oven) had in my parent’s home was cozy, comfortable, and easy.

we played. we slept. we laughed. we ate. and then we played some more, because that’s what three year olds require of you. and it was wonderful. all of it.

so we move forward. we come home. we take down our tree. we look at 2012 calendars and then pause to relish in this moment for just a second more. then we keep moving on… because we have a lot to look forward to.

practice

jackson has a christmas concert in 2 weeks.

i would rehearse the songs with him, but i don’t want to make jackson feel bad with my perfect pitch.

paul would rehearse the songs with him, but paul is tone deaf.

trust me, it’s better this way. for everyone.

it should be noted that my child is making his southern parents proud with his JANGLE BELLS JANGLE BELLS… JANGLE AWWWWL THE WAY…

i’m failry certain that gains him some extra biscuits in his stockin’ or sumthin.

if you can’t view the video above, click here.

when your heart and belly are full

you know that feeling of a nice long holiday weekend whereby you eat and sleep and nap and eat again and snuggle… rinse and repeat? and then you snoop through the weekend album of photos on your iphone and take a moment… because it was such a great weekend and a great holiday. and you find yourself thankful all over again.

because little faces like this one end up spending more time in your bed than usual, especially when they run a fever and have a scratchy, raspy voice from a cough that breaks your heart into a million pieces.

and that little face, that’s going to be a big brother in 4 + months, seems to be aging so much quicker than you could’ve ever imagined. you watch him pick out ornaments for his first family christmas tree. and then you realize that it’s your first family christmas tree too.

and then you eat. you share food and pass plates and ooohh and aaahh over how delicious the meal is that you are sharing with those you love. so you make more, with the help of your favorite kitchen assistant.

the next thing you know, an elf is skeptically welcomed into your home and your son takes a hold of your brother’s heart so much so that he relives his own childhood while playing with superheroes.

and just when you think you cannot possibly fit one more delectable delight in your belly, and you fear your heart will explode from the gratitude you feel, you realize that you have another little life on her way. and it dawns on you that you will always be able to make room for more goodness.

almost forgot

we totally went to disney last weekend.

we ate corn dogs that were the size of our heads, and mickey mouse ice cream bars while telling jackson stories about his uncle b losing his first tooth in one.

we watched the parade together, as a family, and i cried because that’s what magic does to pregnant women.

jackson met his hero.

no big deal.

the noises

i met my best friend’s baby girl today. she was all of 27 hours old and nameless. bundled and swaddled and bamboozeled with adoration from her two parents entirely high on the beauty of life and sleeplessness.

by the time i got around to holding this little cherub, i found myself amazed at how much i had forgotten about the newest of little ones.

like their noises. aside from their screams of OMG WHAT IS THIS PLACE AND WHERE IS MY AMNIOTIC FLUID, the nuzzle sounds as they root and then latch to their mama. the grunts as their squirm and get themselves as nestled to you as humanly possible. the gasps they make when they startle.

and goodness, i forgot how they startle. and then the arms go up with the fingers spread and you feel horrible because you, YOU, are the cause of their traumatic awakening.

watching my friend and her husband, new parents but taking to the role so easily and with such pride, i remembered the craziness that comes with it all.

to think that you spend days in a hospital (assuming you have a hospital birth) surrounded by doctors and nurses and consultants and all of these people who you picked to be a part of your birthing team because to you they are THE BEST at what they do… and then they just let you leave.

WITH A BABY.

FOR. EVER.

it’s insane. absolutely insane. void of all logic. these people you have entrusted your prenatal care to, your child’s pediatric care to, have all of a sudden deemed you worthy.

and good gracious, it is spectacular and life changing and immense in more ways than i can possibly convey in words.

words are so menial compared to the sounds that take place when a child is born.

it is those noises that tell the story. it’s the sounds of a mother sighing with relief when her baby latches successfully to feed. it’s the soft hum of a daddy enjoying his own skin-to-skin time with his baby girl. it’s the love that is felt with the stroke of a baby’s cheek. the care that goes in to changing a diaper on brand new skin. and the disbelief that all of this, all of this beauty is your world.

that kind of communication is where the heart of a family lies… noises included.

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