as the beginning of july creeps up on me (not you… me), i feel an overwhelming sense of list-making coming on and covering me like a blanket… a wet blanket… a wet wool blanket covering my head and draping down my body so heavily that it’s hard to keep my head up because my neck hurts.

and, it’s potentially suffocating.

the lesson here: don’t ever play hide-and-seek and hide under a wet wool blanket. you will die.

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we have eleventy weddings to attend in 7 weeks.

translation: “eleventy” is the numerical equivalent to 4.

2 of the eleventy are long-distance-travel-worthy, requiring airfare… and not just for paul and i, but now, because the magoo is 2, he is deserving of his own plane ticket to be dropped off at the grandparents’ nests of spoiling and cuddling and getting whateverthehell he wants.

kid needs to get a job.

2 of the eleventy weddings are driving distance.

nevertheless, we have 4 weddings within 7 weeks. i’m just hoping a funeral isn’t thrown in the mix.

shit, i just jinxed myself and now need to call everyone i know to make sure they’re still alive.

neither paul nor i are in any of these eleventy weddings, so that saves the cost of a bridesmaids dress, multiple shower gifts, etc.

BONUS!

don’t get me wrong, we love… like MEGA love all of our peoples who are choosing to rock their worlds with this marriage thing.

i’m totally crossing my fingers behind my back right now and giggling.

seriously, we do love them all… dearly.

but marriage is hard.

marriage has like eleventy components to it, and in the almost six years that i’ve been married, i have yet to identify what the majority of the eleventy even are.

so i’m screwed.

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i hope there isn’t a test i’m scheduled to take at some point in time during my marriage in which i have to identify all eleventy components that make up a successful marriage.

i just won’t show up on exam day.

crap, what if exam day is one of the days of one of the eleventy weddings?

adding “number 2 pencils” to shopping list…

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also on my list: a new pair of spanx… the full-body kind.