otherwise known as Persons Unknown…

**********

me: HURRY!!! it’s the summer-time version of LOST.

paul: (((hurrying))) ok, it’s back on.

me: SMOKE MONSTER!!!!

**********

me: “just SHUT UP you former psycho patient who claimed to be a shrink 2 episodes ago.”

**********

me: “is this a flash sideways?”

paul: “no. that’s the actual reporter.”

me: “oh… well, i’m so glad hot blonde chick is kicking the fat car salesman’s ass right now. that was way overdue.”

paul: “yeah, he’s a douche.”

me: “hey!!!!!!! it’s the ship!!!!!!!!!!” (a helicopter, but same idea… sort of.)

**********

*unknown package drops from helicopter. canisters are empty, except for two.*

me: “who has gas masks?”

paul: “i dunno. i don’t even know this show well enough to know the characters names.”

**********

me: “so, did he kill his wife?”

paul: “that’s what the video showed.”

me: “that’s the dude from speed, ya know… on the bus…”

paul: “that’s also cameron… from ferris bueller’s day off.”

me: “yeah, well, he’s a killer now.”

**********

me: “is that dharma initiative beer? or is that coke?

paul: “i don’t know.”

**********

(((SMOKE MONSTER)))

**********

me: “time to take the dog out and go to bed?”

paul: “well yeah. i mean… we won’t miss anything.”

**********

me: “this is all about BIG BROTHER, isn’t it?”

paul: “i dunno.”

me: “IT’S YOUR JOB TO SAY ‘I DUNNO.’”

**********

(((piano playing by ex-psycho patient)))

***********

me: “oh no. that can’t be good.”

paul: “WHUUUUUUT?!?!?!”

**********

me: “i wonder what flavor it is?”

paul: “well it was obvious that was the next thing coming.”

me: “what?!”

paul: “the flavor of the ice cream.”

**********

paul: “why are they wearing raincoats?”

me: “does someone die? cuz otherwise, i really wanna go to bed.”