with beauty and wonder
with the beauty and wonder that only a child can have, jackson discovered my favorite flower on easter sunday. so gorgeous that they look unreal, too good to be true… and yet they are…
dear jackson,
in 8 days you will turn 1, and over the last year i have seen the world with a new set of eyes… a set of eyes that marvels at the delicate, waxy-feel of a tulip… a set of eyes that lights up like fireworks when your daddy walks in the room… a set of eyes that is honest in discovery… thank you for teaching me about beauty and wonder.
i love you,
mom
it seems only appropriate that the bed of tulips i sat jackson in were the most magnificent shade of purple i have ever laid eyes on. and it seems only appropriate that they tapered off into a bed of bright yellow tulips, as though maddie herself were lighting up the world with her smile. madeline’s funeral is today… and it is with true beauty and wonder that i admire the strength of sweet maddie’s mom, heather, in reading her blog post from yesterday.
under construction
if you faithful readers haven’t already noticed, My Bottle’s Up! is getting a little face-lift. the readership has picked up recently, the community has picked up immensely, and i can say that we are officially “under construction” as we prepare for a relaunch.
i ask that you stick with me for the next few days while i meet with some good friends, correspond with other good friends, and get the tweaks worked out. these “good friends” are people who are teaching me so much about this blogosphere and how it all works.
paul and i are looking into copyrighting our materials. according to him, “we need to copyright your shit so no one can steal your shit.”
um, it never occurred to me that anyone would want to “steal my shit,” but ok.
there is A LOT that goes into this entrepreneurship… mom-preneurship… whatever you want to call it. but i am encouraged by you wonderful people out there who are helping me learn as i go and so willing to teach.
in the meantime… to the right, you will find a badge for the March of Dimes team paul and i created over the weekend. My Bottle’s Up for Maddie! will walk in baltimore’s camden yard (4 miles) on may 3rd (my birthday) to honor madeline alice spohr. please visit our team page and join us if you’re in the baltimore area may 3rd. if you can’t join us, please consider clicking over to the right and sponsoring our team. if you are in the los angeles area and can attend her service tuesday, please do so (details on their blog). if you are like paul and i (on the east coast) and want to show your support, please wear purple in honor of maddie on tuesday.
thank you for your continued support of the spohr family as they grieve the loss of their precious baby girl. and thank you for supporting the blogging community and the efforts we make to help those in need. you are all so appreciated.
the beautiful pain
the pain felt yesterday by parenting bloggers around the world was immensely heart-wrenching and beautiful at the same time. the dichotomy in experiencing yesterday’s mourning and togetherness is one that i will not forget.
you get to know people through this whole blogging experience… you get to know writers, readers, mothers, fathers, connect with old friends, meet new ones… these “friends” read your thoughts, your fears, your joys. because those of us who do this, write this, and live this are brave. we are brave enough to put our lives, our hearts, our souls, out there. and there’s something to be said for that.
i did not know beautiful madeline alice spohr in the way that many mom bloggers and their families knew her. i knew of her struggle, her parent’s struggle, her accomplishments, and her ultimate defeat through reading their blog… a blog that days ago was titled “the spohr’s are multiplying” and is now titled “remember maddie.”
i have lost loved ones before. family members. friends. young friends. loss is a pain and ache that is nearly impossible to describe in words.
but now i am a parent. a mom. and so to “know” this family, this beautiful family is experiencing such torture is also painful for me and the other parents reading this.
i’m linking here to a video honoring madeline alice spohr, a 17 month old precious baby girl who died too young.
the pain is immense… the community surrounding this family is strong.
i will go back to my regularly-scheduled magoo updates soon. but updates right now would just include me hugging him, holding him, squeezing, snuggling, and tickling him… because i can.
the world has stopped. a child has died.
a community of parenting bloggers is mourning today. a community of parents is mourning today. people are mourning today. and those people are hugging their little ones unbelievably close to their bodies.
*****
the links that i posted below to the family’s blog have been disabled by the server due to the overwhelming traffic. the march of dimes link is working however, so please link to that and i will update as i hear more information. thank you for your immense and overwhelming support for this family and their precious one.
******
their last few days went like this…
you can find maddie’s story here…
i don’t know what to say… so for now i leave you with their link…
a good friend once told me, “when a parent dies, you become ‘an orphan’ and when a spouse dies you become ‘a widow/er’ but when a child dies… there’s no word.”
Have a Sip
