preciousness

born to love

Published December 14, 2011 | By Nicole

dear jackson,
a few nights ago, you took your baby doll for a stroll through the house. you asked me to put her coat and hood on so she didn’t get cold. then you placed her in the stroller, strapped her in, and headed out to the living room.

after circling through and showing her the christmas tree, you came back into the kitchen. when your dad remarked what a great BIG brother you’re going to be, you took off sprinting with your stroller and baby doll. the grin on your face was enormous.

you looked as though you have been strolling babies for ages… made to comfort. i thought my heart would explode.

you hug and kiss my baby bump almost on a daily basis. last night you placed your stethoscope on my belly and told me that “pickle has sumfin to say, mom.” you tell me all the time that you love her, and you ask when she will ‘come out of the door.’ you promise me that you will take care of her, read her books, and share your dinosaurs with your baby sister. i believe you.

you love the fact that when you snuggle with me, you’re also snuggling with her.

you are transforming right before my eyes, aging with both grace and hilarity. one moment you are asking me thought-provoking questions, and the next you are sporting a large hot chocolate mustache that grown men would envy. you look after your dog with such care while simultaneously calling him ‘stanky’ and plugging your nose.

you remind me of your dad… a silly, old soul.

i don’t know how it’s possible for me to love you more than i already do, but i do… with each passing day. you are so spectacular.

love,
mom

Posted in family, love, magoo, motherhood, parenting, pregnancy | Tagged family, love, motherhood, parenting, preciousness

almost forgot

Published November 19, 2011 | By Nicole

we totally went to disney last weekend.

we ate corn dogs that were the size of our heads, and mickey mouse ice cream bars while telling jackson stories about his uncle b losing his first tooth in one.

we watched the parade together, as a family, and i cried because that’s what magic does to pregnant women.

jackson met his hero.

no big deal.

Posted in family, magoo, sometimes i take pictures | Tagged family, growing right before my eyes, preciousness

the noises

Published November 8, 2011 | By Nicole

i met my best friend’s baby girl today. she was all of 27 hours old and nameless. bundled and swaddled and bamboozeled with adoration from her two parents entirely high on the beauty of life and sleeplessness.

by the time i got around to holding this little cherub, i found myself amazed at how much i had forgotten about the newest of little ones.

like their noises. aside from their screams of OMG WHAT IS THIS PLACE AND WHERE IS MY AMNIOTIC FLUID, the nuzzle sounds as they root and then latch to their mama. the grunts as their squirm and get themselves as nestled to you as humanly possible. the gasps they make when they startle.

and goodness, i forgot how they startle. and then the arms go up with the fingers spread and you feel horrible because you, YOU, are the cause of their traumatic awakening.

watching my friend and her husband, new parents but taking to the role so easily and with such pride, i remembered the craziness that comes with it all.

to think that you spend days in a hospital (assuming you have a hospital birth) surrounded by doctors and nurses and consultants and all of these people who you picked to be a part of your birthing team because to you they are THE BEST at what they do… and then they just let you leave.

WITH A BABY.

FOR. EVER.

it’s insane. absolutely insane. void of all logic. these people you have entrusted your prenatal care to, your child’s pediatric care to, have all of a sudden deemed you worthy.

and good gracious, it is spectacular and life changing and immense in more ways than i can possibly convey in words.

words are so menial compared to the sounds that take place when a child is born.

it is those noises that tell the story. it’s the sounds of a mother sighing with relief when her baby latches successfully to feed. it’s the soft hum of a daddy enjoying his own skin-to-skin time with his baby girl. it’s the love that is felt with the stroke of a baby’s cheek. the care that goes in to changing a diaper on brand new skin. and the disbelief that all of this, all of this beauty is your world.

that kind of communication is where the heart of a family lies… noises included.

Posted in celebrating, family, love, parenting, writing | Tagged celebrating, family, growing right before my eyes, i'm a writer i promise, love, parenting, preciousness

halloween 2011: jackson’s choice

Published November 1, 2011 | By Nicole

my family has been here for the last 4 days and ZOMG did we have SO MUCH FUN. the laughter was abundant, the stories were hilarious, and the dogs… good gracious, y’all, the dogs. (notice red is not pictured. there is a reason why. our dog needs a tranquilizer.) needless to say, we had a blast! i am so blessed with a kickass family. SO BLESSED.

jackson picked out all of the costumes, mom’s dog included… this child is so loved. i don’t know a lot of adults who would go ALL OUT trick-or-treating in costumes and LOVING IT with a 3 year old. spiderman had an entourage of love and hilarity. hope you and yours had a wonderful halloween!