(((drum roll))) please
and the winner of The Must-Have Moms Manual is (i’m sad to say) a friend of mine whose first name i do not even know…
ooohhhh the shame of “knowing” yet “not knowing” internet friends….
but her twitter id is @MommyGeekology and she’s AWESOME!!!!
you can find her hilariously quirky and geeky posts at her website.
SO YAY!!!! she’s rad and i’m stoked for her.
so suga, email me mybottlesup@gmail.com your address and i’ll pass it on to the mothership to get a book sent your way.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU’LL LOVE IT!!!!
and thanks to everyone who entered this week… my review posts have been long, so knowing that people out there drudged through them makes me smile. *snort*
oh and ps- sorry that i suck with deadlines… only 21 mins behind on this one. (((phew))) STOP WRITING NIC.
The Must-Have Moms Manual GIVEAWAY
ok, GIVEAWAY day has arrived!!! (wait, it is friday, right? moms never know what day of the week it is… at least this mom doesn’t.) i realize things with this book review have been somewhat jumbled. i chose to review a different piece each day, and then all of a sudden, i throw this in yesterday in the middle of the week-long review.
but hey, when maggie says, “i’ll post your story on this day,” YOU TAKE IT, cuz ya know, it’s maggie…
i’m blaming the insanity that has taken place this week on the full moon.
i’m also putting in my two bits in here for a moment and sayin, “ya know what moms… this is what we do. we juggle. we do it all. it’s not always perfectly organized. sometimes it’s a friggin mess. but we just do it, cuz somebody has to.”
so, back to business. there has been some awesome feedback these last few days, especially regarding the issues of bewbies vs. bottles… (i had a feeling that one would get people a little fired up.) nevertheless, incredible feedback, awesome comments, and i’m really getting stoked to see who random.org will choose to be today’s winner.
i actually just got off the phone with a very pregnant friend of mine (who shall remain nameless, but you know who you are) who said to me outright, “ok, so i’ve been reading your reviews all week, and i’m scared. i’m scared of all of this.”
my friend, my love, my (insert name here)… what i will be reviewing today will (hopefully) calm those fears because the title of chapter 33 in TMHMM is “Husband Training.”
from the get-go, stephanie tells us readers, “This (referring to when we actually bring the baby home) is one of those times when we women tend to be our own worst enemy.” (pg. 317) She continues with, “There’s no reason why a father shouldn’t be helping with the nighttime feedings–lack of sleep is part of being a parent. Teach him or learn together. Dad’s need to be involved–it’s good for them, it’s good for baby, and it’s good for you too.”
Yes. Yes. And, um yeah.
this hysterically candid yet oh-so-true chapter contains what is quite possibly my favorite part of the entire book, “To the Fathers and Husbands of the World” (pg. 318) and then proceeds with a list of “lessons” for them to learn… quickly.
- Lesson 1: Don’t Lose Interest
- Lesson 2: Touch Us When Sex Isn’t the Goal
- Lesson 3: Do Something Nice Regularly
- Lesson 4: How to Get Laid by Your Wife (RAWR)
- Lesson 5: For Fathers Who Travel
i cannot tell you how much it is killing me to not go into more detail regarding the lessons listed above.
screw the GIVEAWAY… just buy the book here. there’s too much good information. TOO MUCH!!!
wrapping things up with SEX… (chapter 34), i’m going to tease you with the titillating sara’s “Help Me Help You, Jerry” section. and here’s the tease… i’m only giving you one sentence… ONE.
“After two kids and thirteen years of marriage, my husband’s idea of fore-play is turning off ESPN and rolling over.” (pg. 323)
quite honestly, i don’t see how The Must-Have Moms Manual could be any better or any more relevant to any mother’s life.
and so, with that i leave you dear readers. here’s how the day will go… get your comments in… i will close comments at 5 pm EST and draw the lucky winner. questions, concerns, etc… check in with heather, who’s running this op.
Main Entry Requirements
Have a quick look at the chapter list / excerpts and comment as to which chapter looks most interesting to you. Is there a particular ‘problem’ you’d be looking to solve with the book? Let us know which chapter you’d look in for those answers.
Extra Entries (you must leave a separate comment for each extra entry to count)
Subscribe to my feed
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tmhmm- who the hell am i?
ok. day 3 of this… (phew, i feel like i’m running a friggin marathon. but the info, the book, the authors are all awesome, so this is well worth it.)
skipping ahead a few chapters (yesterday’s focus was chapter 3, the bewbs vs. the bottle)… i found myself lurving and really relating to chapter 7 “leaving your career.” umm, more like “leaving your life…” but in a good way, once you find how to balance it all while standing on your head and singing opera and juggling all at the same time.
the beginning of this chapter comes “from sara” (my love, my girl-crush)… who so candidly and eloquently states,
“I’d never worked harder in my life than I did in those first few months of motherhood, yet I’d never felt more devalued.” (pause… let that sink in… reread her brilliance.)
she continues, “American society still places a higher value on paid work than on the work of mothering.” (again pause… and wait for it…. cuz here’s the clincher…)
“I didn’t know how motherhood would define me.”
CAN I GET AN “AMEN”!?!?!?
for me, the key word in that last sentence is “how” because motherhood itself does not have to define you, unless you want it to. it can be a part of who you are… a part of your identity. and The Must-Have Moms Manual addresses that in a very short and sweet run-down of the pros and cons of staying at home:
“PRO: Flexibility”- eh…. i don’t necessarily agree with this one, but i can see their point. with our magoo and his feeding issues at first, there was very little room for flexibility, and i was judged for that as well…. i direct you to my last “don’t judge assface” post from a few months ago. but i get it. you can go here and there, do laundry or not. you don’t have to ask your boss permission for something, because your boss is your baby and will most likely pee in your face (if he’s a boy, like mine) should you spare a mere mili-second to ask said boss something before replacing his diaper.
“PRO: Guilt-Free Time for Yourself- This has to be one of the best benefits of at-home mothering. When you go out with the girls or get a date night with your husband, you don’t feel guilty about being away from your children. You’ve been with them all day!” (pg. 76) eh- i don’t entirely agree with this one either. i really struggled leaving the magoo, unless it was with someone i knew and trusted most likely a family member (thanks to this ho bag who tainted my view of babysitters.)
and to touch on a couple of CONS, i’m going to pick my faves…
“CON: Isolation- Being a stay-at-home mom can feel quite isolating when you’ve been used to spending weekdays in an office full of adults.” this is correct. i find that most of my conversations throughout the day consist of “what? who? and blergbue gabadaddda” when they were once intellectually stimulating discussions about robert browning (senior English major geek thesis.)
“CON: Loss of Sense of Self- How much of your identity comes from your work? How do you feel about the stay-at-home moms you know now? Will being a stay-at-home mom be satisfying for you?” i have an overwhelming fear of living a passionless existence. but this fear manifested itself loooong before jackson was born. i just plain old do not want to live a life that is mundane, ordinary, passionless… i can honestly say, now i don’t. my life with my son and husband is full of passion, joy, and is far from ordinary. but acquiring this lifestyle took time. (ladies, i wish you had mentioned that here.) sara- i know you mentioned that overall “change takes time” (pg. 77) but i wish you had gone a little more in depth with that.
at the end of this PRO/CON/mylifeisover is an excellent resource guide “clutter-busting resources” (as it is referred to in the book) which presents itself at the end of each chapter, but i found this one to be exceptional because it gives moms networks, which i have yet to see another mom-related book do. well done ladies!
*****
so with networking comes blogging (my network of choice) but also “activities for mom and baby” which is addressed in chapter 12. ok, so i skipped through the safety chapter… sue me!
activities for mom AND baby are more difficult to come by than i anticipated. for some reason, i thought i would give birth to jackson and all of a sudden women with babies would show up at my door with casseroles, chocolate-covered baked goods, and games for us to play together. we would bond, EAT, share stories of engorgement, and i would find my “forever friends.”
i was so wrong.
FYI: for that reader out there who has that, email me… cuz i wanna meet your friends. k, thanks.
the first sentence of this chapter from sara puts it frankly, beautifully, perfectly… ”When I became a stay-at-home mom, the last thing I wanted to do was stay at home.” (pg. 113)
honestly!!! i mean you are “supposed to” (enter junk-punch or purple nurple to whoever said that horrific phrase) wait what? 4-6 weeks before you even expose the newborn to any sort of outside or public environment.
i remember going to target when jackson was 4 weeks old… our first family outing. paul and i filled the diaper bag to the brim with anything we may possibly need. if jackson were to run a fever, we had the rectal thermometer and infant tylenol suppositories ready! we were so damn nervous…. BUT I HAD TO GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TMHMM recommends a few groups to join or look into… eh, if that’s your bag then good for you (and you’re probably not one who subscribes to my blog) cuz that’s just not my gig. it’s cool if it’s your’s… more power to ya. the recommendations are good… but my personal fave is the last one “story time at the public library,” or (as i refer to it) “dancing babies.” while you sit with your little one in a circle of moms and other little ones, some crazed lady leaps/skips/hops around the circle with bubbles, tissue paper, and basically sprinkles fairy-dust on your head while wearing your child out with an enormous amount of stimulation.
if you want to come home to a good afternoon nap… attend “dancing babies.” weekly.
*****
i’m goina end this post on a good note… in fact, my favorite note…
re: PLAY DATES AND PLAY GROUPS
yeah, get excited. or not, because it’s always unnerving to be the “newbie” to show up with your kid with too many distracting toys in your diaper bag incase your kid is the kid who just wants his truck but doesn’t realize there are plenty of other toys, kids, things to distract him with…
anyway, like i was saying, get excited… and here’s why… my fave page of the book my friends, pg. 118 (bottom corner, highlighted, you can’t miss it.)
“Sara’s Play Group Tip: My local mom friends and I would schedule play group gatherings for late in the afternoon so we could enjoy a much-needed glass of wine together.”
class dismissed.
and again, don’t forget to pop in with heather, our blogging-book-reviewing mothership.
and for the last time… reminders for how to win, because my final review post will be announcing the winner on friday!!!
Main Entry Requirements
Have a quick look at the chapter list / excerpts and comment as to which chapter looks most interesting to you. Is there a particular ‘problem’ you’d be looking to solve with the book? Let us know which chapter you’d look in for those answers.
Extra Entries (you must leave a separate comment for each extra entry to count)
Subscribe to my feed
Follow me on Twitter
Follow me on Facebook
YOU WANT THIS MOMMIES!!!! YOU KNOW YOU DO!!!! I WANT THIS FOR YOU!!!! LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS, LEAVE YOUR INFO… SUBSCRIBE!!! WIN THIS BOOK!!!!
tmhmm- bewbies vs. bottles
so, for those of you who are still with me let’s get down to the nitty gritty of this book review… the bewbies vs. the bottle, also known as chapter 3. if you are familiar with my story and the magoo’s multiple diagnoses from multiple crazy-ass “specialists” we saw during the magoo’s first 6 months of life, then you most likely know where i stand on this issue.
however, as both stephanie and sara point out in chapter 3 of The Must-Have Moms Manual, bewbies vs. the bottle is an unfortunate point of contention amongst some moms.
i am not (i repeat not) anti-breast-feeding, not by a long shot. i am however, anti-judgment because some of us just cannot, do not, wish not to breast-feed, for whatever reason, for a plethora of reasons. i am a firm believer in a mother choosing not only what is best for her child, but what is best for her as the child’s mother and primary care-taker/food provider.
(i have found that this concept of addressing the mother’s needs often gets over-looked while everyone oogles over the baby, which is all well and good, but c’mon, let’s love on the one who housed the baby for 9 months too.)
having been a new mother who experienced an immense amount of judgment and criticism and (yes, hate mail) from blog readers during my toughest times with my son (including two hospitalizations), when i reached this part of sara and stephanie’s book, my guard was instantly up.
c’mon, would your’s not be?
quite honestly, in my opinion, the book was exactly what i needed to hear and once again, i wish i heard it before i was in it… ya know, in the shit, in the depths of the worst of the worst where you find yourself yelling at your husband not to go to work and leave you with a screaming, starving baby who is entirely dependent on you when you don’t know what the hell to do.
chapter 3 in the book begins with stephanie outright saying…
“The bottom line on breast-feeding is this:
1) Yes, it definitely is better for your baby for many reasons, but if it just doesn’t work for you, it’s better to feed formula and preserve your sanity.
2) Getting the hang of it doesn’t come naturally, so you’d better make the time to take a class, and be very, very patient with yourself-it may take an entire month of sore nipples and pure determination before you get the knack that’s the part they don’t tell you).”
amen, sistafriend.
amidst paragraphs that discuss everything from breast-feeding in public, to breast pumps, and then weaning your baby from your bewbies… i began to feel the hairs on the back of my neck starting to stand… my defenses were going up as i was reading. i was awaiting the judgment… instead of judgment, i found my second gripe with TMHMM (reminder: first gripe stated yesterday that i didn’t like the word “manual” in the title.)
when it comes to weaning… whether it’s breast or bottle, TMHMM did (what i think) is the ultimate no-no… they said “never.” i am repulsed by the use of that word, because one simply does not know what will work for one mom and what won’t for another. so why on earth would you say “never wean your baby by taking away the breast cold turkey.”
*SOAP-BOX* we (my husband and i) weaned jackson from his bottle (which he came to love only after his 1st birthday) cold turkey recently. we had to. we tried cutting out one bottle at a time… the least noticeable first… leaving the “comfort bottle” as the last bottle. whatever ladies!!! he caught on to that shit immediately!!!
as his first year molars came in, jackson entered a puking cycle and though short-lived, it still sucked. no one likes being bathed in vomit repeatedly. nevertheless, my husband and i knew we would not be giving jackson any more bottles that day unless they contained pedialtyte in order for his system to calm down, his stomach acid to neutralize, etc, etc…
so i looked at paul and said, “screw it. let’s put the bottles away. i’m done with this.”
and we did. we did it cold turkey. jackson had been drinking fine from a sippy cup, straw cup, whatever kind of cup… and while i lived through 4 days of non-stop screaming because he simply wanted the comfort that his “ba-ba”, by day 4 it was over. i had won the battle and the war. and i have not once looked back.
VICTORY WAS MINE!!!!
point being… never say never ladies… never. what works for one may/may not work for the other.
((((stepping off the box))))
moving on… sara addresses bottle-feeding in a very matter of fact sort of way (which is why i completely relate to her more so than stephanie, again, no offense.)
sara begins her bottle-feeding piece by stating the following,
“The bottom line of bottle-feeding:
1) You have the right to feed your baby formula without guilt (i would like to add without judgment but i don’t know if that’s possible in today’s society.)
2) Breast-feeding isn’t right for everyone.”
by addressing the subject that bewbies vs. bottle stirs up so much controversy amongst moms, sara is spot-on with what i have found to be not only an important issue, but a real point of division with moms. and i really wish it wasn’t. we, as women, and as moms have so much information and support to offer one another. there’s no need for the judgment and “controversy,” as sara puts it.
breast-feeding moms hang out with other breast-feeding moms… bottle-feeding moms hang out with other bottle-feeding moms. and sure, there are those few brave souls who bridge the gaps, and i commend you for doing so. i commend sara for tackling this topic head-on in TMHMM (pg. 47 incase you’re wondering.)
and here in lies my favorite sentence in the entire book… and quite possibly my potential reason for leaving my husband and pursuing and illicit affair with sara…
“This kind of divisiveness is exactly what Stephanie and I want to try to change among mothers.” (pg. 47)
BRILLIANT!!! THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT!!!
*****
all right all right all right…. my last bit about the bewbies…
when weaning, “Cabbage: It’s not just for cole slaw.” (pg. 48)…. oh ladies… so true. cabbage saved my life more than any pain-killer or 800 mg ibuprofen could. feel free to consult my post from last year regarding the multitude of cabbage leaves that stuffed my 2-sized too small sports bras which were doubled-up to compress my breasts.
i distinctly remember, after only 5 weeks of nursing jackson, being told by my obgyn (who i love and would totally have an illicit affair with) to do the following when weaning cold turkey…
- purchase multiple sports bras that are at least one size too small.
- begin wearing two sports bras at a time to start compressing your breasts (and make sure your sports bras are lined with breast pads for leakage. DUH!)
- purchase several heads of cabbage. not lettuce. not curly-leafed lettuce… CABBAGE. remove the largest of the leaves, place individual leaves in between two sheets of wet paper towels and layer in refrigerator. leave them there until friggin freezing, or chilled to your desire.
- remove breast pad(s) from sports bra(s) and replace breast pad(s) with cabbage leaves when engorged. (yes, you will leak like hell. just lay in bed with a towel or two underneath you and relish in feeling the pain leaving your body.)
- rinse your body and repeat for 2 weeks… possibly 3.
if you’re not yet sold on the awesomeness of this book and all that it has to offer, stay tuned as i will be discussing more on wednesday (a mother’s identity, SAHM/WAHM, relationship & marriage awesomeness) and then wrapping up my review friday and ANNOUNCING THE WINNER!!!
a few reminders about how to win in this giveaway…
Main Entry Requirements
Have a quick look at the chapter list / excerpts and comment as to which chapter looks most interesting to you. Is there a particular ‘problem’ you’d be looking to solve with the book? Let us know which chapter you’d look in for those answers.
Extra Entries (you must leave a separate comment for each extra entry to count)
Subscribe to my feed
Follow me on Twitter
Follow me on Facebook
and once again, make sure you check in with the mother-ship of this project… oh, and feel free to comment below with your own thoughts/experiences regarding the bewbies vs. the bottles. the more insight, the better!
The Must-Have Mom Manual
good monday morning readers… i interrupt your regularly scheduled quirky, insane, occasionally inebriated posts and magoo updates for a book review that will take place this entire week.
get stoked! cuz i am!
your’s truly, as well as 5 other incredibly fantastic blogging moms were asked to collaborate on a book review. the book itself is a collaboration (written and compiled by two friends), and thus the reason why i said “yes” to this project.
i dig group-efforts… multiple minds… the sharing of insight… and insanity. kinda makes me feel like i’m not alone in this crazy hood that is motherhood.
the brilliance behind this cooperative effort comes from none other than heather eigler and you can find more of her creative genius at her website, maternalspark.com
and yes, there is a giveaway in this co-op of our’s… THE BOOK!
Main Entry Requirements
Have a quick look at the chapter list / excerpts and comment as to which chapter looks most interesting to you. Is there a particular ‘problem’ you’d be looking to solve with the book? Let us know which chapter you’d look in for those answers.
Extra Entries (you must leave a separate comment for each extra entry to count)
Subscribe to my feed
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NOW ON WITH THE SHOW….
authors sara ellington and stephanie triplett (sorry, i giggle when i hear her last name, even though she does not have triplets) compiled stories, perspectives, and share their brutal honesty in this (their second) book, The Must-Have Mom Manual.
i’m not big on mom-manuals, and i feel like i need to let that be known from the get-go. in the 15+ months that i have been a mother, i have learned that there is no thing and no child who is “normal.” i have also learned that one should never, ever, under any circumstances use the phrase “supposed to” when discussing motherhood or parenting.
(should you use this phrase in my presence, expect a quick swift junk-punch, if you’re a dude… and a purple nurple, if you’re a chick.)
with that being said, i found TMHMM to be surprisingly refreshing. perhaps this is due to the fact that both stephanie and sara wrote this purposely from their two very different perspectives, offering insight from both the nursing mother who went back to work, and the bottle-feeding mother who stayed at home. different women, different moms, different views… no preaching, and more importantly (to me) no judgment.
opening with a small guide on “how to use” the book, sara and stephanie introduce themselves and then take the time to talk about each other, which as a woman, i can appreciate… cuz we all talk about each other (admit it bitches.) this instantly made me feel as though i could hang with these two women and share a bottle of wine with them.
the tone is immediately hysterical, entirely honest, and both stephanie and sara gained my trust and respect within minutes of reading the intro… me personally, i relate more to sara (reason to be revealed this week, stay tuned) but totally dig both chicks.
for example, on page 14 (hardly into the meat of the book) in reference to having a c-section, “Stephanie always says, ‘They don’t hand out trophies in the delivery room.’” my response to that, as a c-section mom… word! your baby is your trophy.
instinctually i took a peak at this book, that sat on my desk for 2 weeks before i picked it up, and did not like the word “manual” on the front cover. it turned me off. just that word. so far, that’s my only gripe.
but… this is a Must-Have… that is for sure. just wish i had it about a year and a half ago… if not two years ago.
stay tuned this week… there’s plenty that i will be discussing regarding this book (tomorrow it’s all about the bewbies…) and of course, make sure you check in with the mother-ship of this project…
so with that, i encourage you to click on over to AJ and check out her nutty input at her site.
Have a Sip
