“rape rape”
Posted by NicSep 29
dear whoopi,
you sicken me. you make me sad for women and men alike. you make me sad for humanity as a whole. you make me sad for those who have been brave and strong enough to endure and come to eventually embrace the label of “rape survivor.”
and quite honestly, you horrify me with the following clip…
even though roman polanski pled guilty to having sex with a minor, HE HAD SEX WITH A MINOR… WHICH EQUALS STATUTORY RAPE.
RAPE, WHOOPI…. “RAPE RAPE,” according to you.
as a rape survivor myself, one who has publicly and proudly shared my story of being drugged and raped with the world wide web, i find myself ashamed to say that i was once a fan of your’s… a fan of your sucesses… a fan of you as a woman.
and now, you disgust me.
please tell me what you define “rape rape” as… i’m just curious. indulge me please.
your ignorance regarding the issue of rape sounds as though some forms of rape are worse than others, which makes me wonder a couple of things about you…
1) have you ever been raped?
2) who do you think you are to judge those who have?
3) what criteria must one endure in order to be “raped” and not “rape raped”?
4) must there be weapons involved?
5) in order to be “rape raped” should there be more than one rapist?
6) does a pregnancy need to result from said “rape rape”?
i would LOVE to say more about how disgusted i am with you and how you make me want to wretch in my toilet, knowing that ignorant people like you, ignorant WOMEN like you exist in this world… but i am a better woman than you. i am a stronger woman than you.
and i will NEVER watch “The View” again, so long as your ignorant ass is on it.
september 26th marked my 9 year “suckiversary” since i was RAPED.
not “rape raped,” whoopi….
I WAS RAPED.
i am a survivor. and now, i have survived what i NEVER in my wildest dreams could’ve imagined… judgment and condescension from another woman regarding rape.
**********
edited wednesday sept. 30
i urge you all to click here and read my friend’s take and support her as a survivor in the way you have all embraced and supported me.
101 comments
Comment by mommymae on September 29, 2009 at 8:51 pm
she shoved her damn foot in her mouth, didn’t she. proud of you for standing up & saying so.
Pingback by Dizzy Girl » Blog Archive » Polanski Defenders… on September 29, 2009 at 9:00 pm
[...] Recommended Reading: My Bottle’s UP: “rape rape” [...]
Comment by Chibi Jeebs on September 29, 2009 at 9:00 pm
*standing ovation*
“Women” like Whoopi (and I use the term loosely) make me ashamed of my gender; however, women like you make me proud to be female.
Love you <3
Comment by Scattered Mom on September 29, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Rape is rape.
PERIOD.
Comment by mama speak on September 29, 2009 at 9:04 pm
I didn’t watch the video clip, did any of the other woman SAY anything to her?? I mean, she didn’t put her foot in her mouth, she showed she’s an idiot.
Polanski might have a been a genius (can’t really say that myself) and I don’t think people would’ve argued w/that, but regardless of what he did or didn’t do creatively he’s still a rapist and deserves prosecution & punishment.
Comment by Haley-O (Cheaty) on September 29, 2009 at 9:05 pm
I can’t bring myself to watch the View anyway. But, now there’s no way in hell.
Comment by Maria @BOREDmommy on September 29, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Go Girl!
It amazes me that that show is still on television with all the ignorant, idiotic comments that come out of it, almost on a daily basis. I couldn’t believe it when I heard about this today – I am utterly disgusted. Whoopi Goldberg is a disgrace and should be ashamed of herself.
Good for you for standing up for yourself, for all victims of this horrifying crime.
Comment by Jules on September 29, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Nic- I am with you totally, hon… why is she protecting the rapist…i do believe that she was a sexyal abuse survivor- i thought i had heard that a long time ago. and yeah- “rape rape” – what the hell kind of turn of phrase is that… and how now- the conversation turns (of course) to “WHERE IS THE MOTHER???” and again momma is blamed instead of holding the perp accountable…. so much more you and i both could say on this subject- hey, nic- why don’t we? what a powerful team we would make!
Comment by Maniacal Mom on September 29, 2009 at 9:10 pm
She obviously has her head up her ass! I say we stand together write the producer and boycott.
Comment by Stefany @ ToBeThode on September 29, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Seriously?!? What the hell??? She is an idiot!
Comment by flutter on September 29, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Jesus Christ. If you don’t mind I am going to post on this one as well.
Comment by PsychMamma on September 29, 2009 at 9:21 pm
First of all, let me say I totally agree with you that what he did was rape. No question in my mind, personally. It disgusts me and it disgusts me that he got away with it for so long and that there’s at least still the possibility that he’ll continue to get away with it.
Having said that, what I THINK and HOPE that Whoopi was trying to point out was that we need to have the facts straight ABOUT WHAT HE PLEAD GUILTY TO. He was CHARGED with statutory rape. He plead guilty to “sex with a minor” which is what Whoopi is referring to as “not RAPE-rape.” He went to jail for 45 days, and (my understanding of the circumstances:) got wind that when they sentenced him it was going to be for a long time FOR STATUTORY RAPE. He was hoping to get off on a minor offense with less time (scumbag), hence, skipping the country (how the heck did THAT happen??).
Anyway, I didn’t get the sense that Whoopi was defending him. I don’t THINK she was saying what he DID was not “RAPE-rape,” she was qualifying what he plead guilty to. I THINK/HOPE she was just getting the facts of the case straight. Later in the clip, when she discusses that other countries think differently than we do, I think she is very accurate. Some of the defense for the guy is coming from foreign countries where 13/14 year-olds are seen as more adult and sexuality is a little more open. Does this make it right to me? NO! But, I don’t think Whoopi was excusing what he did either. I think she was simply pointing out a reason why some people in other countries might not find it so objectionable, considering that the victim has “forgiven” him and apparently wants the case dropped.
(For the record, my legal knowledge is next to nil, but *I* still think he should stand trial for the charges. I also think that IF IT’S TRUE that the victim wants to let it go, she’s got some amazing chutzpah/inner strength/inner peace/loving-kindness that I wish I had more of. I have no idea how it works legally if she doesn’t want to press charges, if, for instance, her parent(s) filed the charges initially.)
As far as “boycotting” The View: I’m with you 100% for a plethora of reasons.
Love you, Babe. xoxoxox
Comment by Kim @ Beautiful Wreck on September 29, 2009 at 9:39 pm
I missed the View today. I hardly watch. Just another reason not too IMO. I am not sure what Whoopi was trying to say. Goodlord.
Comment by Pgoodness on September 29, 2009 at 9:41 pm
What an idiot. You rock…good for you putting this out there…how dare she?!
Comment by Swanny23 on September 29, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Brava. Hopefully Whoopi wasn’t trying to be a complete assbag, but c’mon.. “rape rape?”. Who doesn’t just state that he’s a dick for the rape, and a dick for fleeing the country? We all would’ve understood that.
Comment by Kim on September 29, 2009 at 10:48 pm
I’m not a fan, mainly because everyone says whatever they want with no consequence except Elizabeth Hasselback, who is vilified and degenerated by everyone for having an opinion that they disagree with.
I hope that Whoopi realizes what an asinine thing she said and that her rant is disrespectful to all victims of rape or sexual violence, no matter the circumstances.
And I hope they listen to you Nic, and that this never is allowed to happen again.
Comment by Susan Howard on September 30, 2009 at 4:44 am
Why are we even listening to Whoopi in the first place? Why do we care? She’s a bottom-feeding sewer rat who tells us that a 45 year old man giving a 13 year old girl quaaludes, champagne and confessing to raping her, isn’t “rape rape”??? Me thinks Whoopi has some “splaining to do”… I’m confused, really confused! Extradite the asshole to the US, prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law and lock him up for the rest of his life… He deserves nothing less!
Comment by boingerhead on September 30, 2009 at 4:46 am
Oh man…a thousand cheers could not match how proud of this post, your well-expressed fury, I am, nor a thousand cries express how disgusted I am at Whoopi’s dimwitted assholery.
Comment by WeaselMomma on September 30, 2009 at 5:24 am
Amen! I am sorry that you have suffered the way that you have and thank you for writing this.
Comment by Beth on September 30, 2009 at 5:26 am
I have never been a Whoppi fan I always thought she was a man in woman’s clothing, ooops I mean a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Send her hate mail.
Comment by Tricia (irishsamom) on September 30, 2009 at 5:27 am
OMG, that SHOCKED me to the core – that that conversation even took place. I too, used to be a fan, but I am not going to ever support Whoopi again. She just defended a man who RAPED a young girl (two years older than my daughter) and it is what it is. RAPE. THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN> THERE IS NO EXCUSE. I’m sorry Nic, that as a survivor you had to watch this, knowing that if anyone can make a change in the world and speak out against this horrendous CRIME, it is other women. It’s a sad day for Whoopi Goldberg, in my book. F****k her.
Comment by MommyGeekology on September 30, 2009 at 5:39 am
DAMN STRAIGHT. Whoopi needs a little ass-kicking, if you ask me. The law is the law, and it’s been passed as law FOR A REASON. It doesn’t matter what other countries believe! Seriously? Does that mean we should have just listened to Nazi Germany? What a douche.
I’m sorry you were assaulted – yeah, I think that’s an appropriate word – by your tv. Thank god the other women didn’t agree with her – but still – unacceptable.
Comment by melissa on September 30, 2009 at 5:46 am
as a fan of the View I saw a clip of this yesterday and was embarrassed and disgusted. I’m sorry that this clip and the media attention it’s gettins has probably brought up feelings for you that you didn’t deserve to feel
Comment by Jenni/mom2nji on September 30, 2009 at 5:52 am
Holy Mother of Fucking Hell. Did she really say that? Every. Single. Person who defends this sick bastard, I will boycott. For Whoopi to attempt to put some kind of qualifiers as to what is rape, makes me want to deck her.
Comment by Colleen - Mommy Always Wins on September 30, 2009 at 5:53 am
AMEN.
Rape is rape is rape. There is no “rape light”.
Comment by Kimberly Kaye on September 30, 2009 at 5:55 am
The whole Whoopi thing makes me so sick!
I was raped at 13. I was not drugged. I did say no (just as Polanski’s victim did – from her testimony at his trial). I tried to push him off, but I did not kick or scream. So was I really raped, Whoopi?
Hell yes I was raped! Not by Polanski, but by someone very similar. It is just sick that a woman, as strong and smart as Whoopi could have such complete sewage spew from her mouth.
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by becky on September 30, 2009 at 6:01 am
when i saw/heard this yesterday i was so appalled and pissed off. i’m glad you posted this. let’s hope that somehow it actually gets back to her. what a scumbag she is.
Comment by Janie Woods on September 30, 2009 at 6:09 am
Stumbled, retweeted, facebooked, emailed…Everything I can think of. I don’t watch The View; I’m not a Whoopi fan; I’m disgusted by her and every other lib in Hollywood saying he should be let go; and it totally pisses me off that I can never watch “Ghost” again…I hope that your words reach millions! Mostly, I hope your words reach other survivors so they know that not everyone feels like Hollywood…
Comment by Lisa on September 30, 2009 at 6:11 am
Good for you for standing up and saying something. It repulses me when anyone tries to say one form of rape is any worse than another, tell that to a rape survivor. I don’t watch The View but I have previously been a fan of Whoopi, no more, now she just disgusts me.
Hugs to you.
Comment by Melissa Wardy on September 30, 2009 at 6:24 am
BRAVO!
I’ve never watched the View, never been a fan. I am, however, now a huge fan of YOU! Your strength around the survival of your rape is admirable.
Has our society marginalized its girls so much that sex w/ a 13 yr old – drugged and forced sex – is okay? And since when did forced sex not equal rape? A thirteen year old girl is still a c-h-i-l-d. The victim had her childhood stolen from her.
Comment by Kelly on September 30, 2009 at 6:48 am
Brava. I’ve been tweeting my anger over the whole Polanksi defense and outrage, as well as over my own personal outrage that Whoopi (who I thought was a strong feminist) actually sought to clarify and categories “types” of rape. I wish someone would call Whoopi to account and explain what exactly she thinks “rape rape” is.
Also, your post brought up something else for me. I, too, was raped. But I was 16, in my own bed, and it was by someone I’d had sex with before. So, Whoopi … was that rape rape? Or did the guy just “have sex” with me (you know, against my will)?
Comment by Sarcastica on September 30, 2009 at 6:59 am
What an IDIOT. I’m so glad you wrote this post, I didn’t catch The View that day but I did watch the clip and HOLY CRAP, she needs to either lose her job OR apologize publicly – even still I won’t be watching The View again.
Comment by Julie @ The Mom Slant on September 30, 2009 at 6:59 am
Nic, I’m really sorry about what happened to you.
I’d also like to add that Polanski’s victimwas drugged and told him NO, over and over again, and yet he continued. That’s rape, no matter how old someone might be.
Comment by Chrissi on September 30, 2009 at 6:59 am
Whoopi has serious issues. She needs to shut her yap.. She disgusts me.
Can’t stand the view already.. Will email ABC as well..
As another survivor, I am appalled.
xoxo
Comment by PrincessJenn on September 30, 2009 at 7:31 am
I’m inclined to agree with PsychMama on this. I don’t think Whoopi was saying it wasn’t rape. The ‘rape-rape’ thing was a specific discussion of what he plead guilty to vs what he did / they want to charge him with. What he plead guilty to is not what we consider the ‘rape’ charge, thus the ‘rape-rape’ comment.
Is what he did rape? Absolutely. Do I think he should be charged with it? You bet. Is that what he plead guilty to and did jail time for? No, it’s not. And I think that was the point Whoopi was trying to make.
Comment by Jennifer on September 30, 2009 at 7:33 am
I never watch The View because all that noise gives me a headache. Whoopie G sure isn’t giving me any incentive to start, that’s for sure. It’ about time Roman P served his time, he’s a criminal.
Comment by jennyonthespot on September 30, 2009 at 7:35 am
SO, maybe she was trying to clarify the charges… I dunno. MY issue is WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE BE SO CONCERNED ABOUT DEFENDING A RAPISTS??? OK, a “raperape-ist” or even someone who’d have sex with a minor?
As I watched, chills ran up and down my entire body. Why would anyone work so hard to defend someone who hurt a child… who CARES what other countries think about how old a child should be.
It’s awful. I am deeply saddened and fearful for the protection of my children because people in our own society (people with louder voices than me) MAY have influence.
Thank you for posting this. A heart-hug to you knowing you have earned “survivor” You are incredible strong and should not have to endure slaps in the face such as this.
I walk with you here.
Comment by Nicole on September 30, 2009 at 7:49 am
I applaud your strength in sharing your story. I also think Whoppi along with the rest of the media who think this wasn’t a big deal or a real rape are dung heaps!
Comment by Issa on September 30, 2009 at 7:49 am
I can’t watch it. I won’t watch it. However, I agree with you 100%. And I love you. That is all.
Comment by Jenni/mom2nji on September 30, 2009 at 7:49 am
Here is my thinking on the “rape, rape” He pleaded guilty to statutory RAPE. That is still RAPE. A 13 you girl, drugged or not, does not have the mental capacity to make the choice to have sex with a grown man. From what I gather he was arrested for fleeing the law. If he fled what he deemed to be a severe punishment, he is a criminal. End of story.
I think if he committed the same crime today he would be charged with child molestation and would be a pariah.
Comment by Susan (woo222) on September 30, 2009 at 7:58 am
*joins the standing ovation*
I will write letters to the show’s producers, sign petitions, anything you want. I can’t believe that there hasn’t been more of a backlash after that comment. The ENTIRE audience of The View is women, for the most part. People should have booed. People should have turned off their t.v.s. People should be up in arms over this. If one in three women will be sexually assaulted in their live time, think of how many rape survivors were just invalidated by Whoopi’s ignorant comment. Love ya, girl. ~Susan
Comment by FireMom on September 30, 2009 at 8:05 am
You tell her. You tell the world.
You are an inspiration.
Comment by MayoPie on September 30, 2009 at 8:08 am
Rape may have varying degrees of intensity, but rape is rape whether it’s drugging, manipulating a child to have sex with you, or physically forcing yourself on an unwilling person. All would seem exceedingly traumatic and all are the ultimate violation. And from what I’ve understood, children who have had this happen to them often blame themselves for it. As far as I’m concerned, it all falls under one category. I guess to whoopi, “rape rape” means “real rape,” so I can only assume she doesn’t feel that this scenario falls within those confines. Anyone think she would feel differently if it was her daughter that this happened to? She’d be screaming “rape rape” from atop The View meeting table.
Comment by Casey on September 30, 2009 at 8:11 am
I was never her biggest fan but now I am convinced my decision to not watch her is justified. She is a pig in the truest sense of the word. Not only is Roman Polanski a rapist, but Hollywood is quick to forget that not only was his victim a 13 y.o. child, but he also DRUGGED her. I’m writing a letter to ABC.
Comment by Mary@The Writer's Block on September 30, 2009 at 8:13 am
Excellent post.
I have been disgusted at the support of Polanski this week.
Thank you for writing with courage and clarity!
Comment by Chantel on September 30, 2009 at 8:21 am
I watched the clip. What a damn shame that Whoopi thinks Statutory rape is different than rape that occurs when the parties involved are over 18. It doesn’t freaking matter! It’s still rape! It’s still a crime. Do the crime, serve the time!
I haven’t watched The View in years and never will again. I’m glad you posted this hon.
I wonder if she thinks the sky is purple too?
Pingback by Polanski, Whoopi and Rape Apologism « After Silence on September 30, 2009 at 8:22 am
[...] Nic at My Bottle’s Up put it elegantly, “I find myself ashamed to say that I was once a fan of yours… a fan of your successes… a fan of you as a woman… and now, you disgust me.” [...]
Comment by amotherworld on September 30, 2009 at 8:22 am
Wow, I’m shocked by the stupidity that came out of Whoopie’s mouth.
Thanks for sharing, and being brave enough to share your story.
Comment by Amanda @ High Impact Mom on September 30, 2009 at 8:29 am
Thank you for standing up and saying what the rest of us were thinking.
Comment by Susan on September 30, 2009 at 8:41 am
Whoopi also offended some Europeans by saying they think of sex differently than Americans. They may not have the same views of the age of consent that Americans do, but the point is moot. This young girl did not consent and with no consent, it IS RAPE!! yes Whoopi…even in Europe (rolly eyes & red in the face). For heavens sake… NO is NO !!
Comment by Karen Sugarpants on September 30, 2009 at 8:49 am
Amen. I’m still reeling from that video since I saw it yesterday. You’ve said exactly what I would love to say to her face. Good for you.
Comment by Microblogologist on September 30, 2009 at 9:02 am
That bastard should be castrated, without medication. Raping a child (or is that rape-raping?) to me is one of the most horrific crimes one could commit. I am glad that the prisoners tend to agree with me, child molesters are the lowest of the low in jail and are treated as such. For Whoopi to be able to stand there and argue semantics at best, severity of rape at the worst, not only as a woman but as a woman who has had kids and now has a 13 year old granddaughter is very disturbing. Rape of any kind is a crime and celebrities should never essentially endorse it or try and lessen the perceived severity of it!
Comment by Sara @heartmychloe on September 30, 2009 at 9:03 am
my “favorite” part of the clip is in the beginning where whoopi points out that they were having sex prior to the incident. as if that discounts the fact that he RAPED her later on.
guess what whoopi? i was raped by a guy who i was in a 6 yr relationship with. from age 19-25 we were together, consentually. but one day he pinned me down and forced himself upon me.
does that count as “rape rape” in your book?
i don’t care that today you clarified by saying you were just trying to get the facts straight. your apology is not accepted…if you even really apologized. i kind of missed the i’m sorry.
you can’t take back the fact that you used the term rape rape, as if one horrifying event “counts” more than another.
i’m outraged and disgusted by you, whoopi, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Comment by Jan on September 30, 2009 at 9:06 am
Whoppi was not giving HER personal opinion of the matter, she was stating for the record what the charges were.
When she said “I don’t believe it was rape rape” she was speaking of the charges, not her personal belief of the situation.
Comment by Elizabeth on September 30, 2009 at 9:18 am
Proud of you my friend. You have a voice and it should be heard. Loud and clear. xo
Comment by Mr. Nuggets on September 30, 2009 at 9:19 am
She is absolutely disgusting.
Comment by Erin @ Fierce Beagle on September 30, 2009 at 9:49 am
I don’t know what more Whoopi needs to know about “the facts” to know that rape is rape is rape. That man was an adult. That girl was a child. Regardless of anything else, that’s rape.
Comment by Angella on September 30, 2009 at 10:11 am
Oh, wow. I’m so swamped with work that I had no idea about this.
Good for you, Nic. Proud of you.
Comment by Miki on September 30, 2009 at 10:38 am
Calm your ass down. She was just saying the facts, and trying to say things correctly, and tell you all what he was being charged for- not the “truth” of what he did. She didn’t want to tell you all that he was being charged for rape, because he ISN’T. She’s stating the facts of what the law is giving to him, not the facts of what he did in reality.
God, you all are idiots.
Comment by Danielle-Lee on September 30, 2009 at 10:49 am
Thank you for standing up for us. RAPE is RAPE. Regardless of HOW MUCH the victim protested, regardless of what anyone else *thinks* the victim should or should not have done, the PERP should NEVER have done what he did, and that alone is what needs to be put on trial.
Comment by Jenn on September 30, 2009 at 11:02 am
this makes me so sick. So, because I was raped at 17 by a “boyfriend” it wasnt really rape? it was rape rape.. since I was drunk, it doesnt count, right? thanks for clarifying that for me whoopi, because as I was being raped I sure as hell was wondering wtf your opinion was! For the rest of my life I will remember this. i will remember the hurt, the pain. My husband will remember the crying, the nights that I couldnt, wouldnt allow him to touch me. the dreams that fill my head during the darkest of nights, the ones that rattle me, shake me and make me remember back 12 years ago, sure as hell remember it being RAPE and nothing else. I never knew that rape had so many different classifications. Im sure all the other women in the world that have been raped dont see it as “rape rape” either. thanks for making us all feel like shit, making us all angry, hurt and relive the horrible event all over again, because of your ignorance! Whoopi, you are a disgrace to women everywhere, even if they have not been raped!
Comment by Jenni/mom2nji on September 30, 2009 at 11:19 am
Wow Miki. Just wow. How exactly is being outraged by a person trivializing CHILD RAPE an overreaction? I just read the entire story about his trial. He is a child molester. Plain and simple. I understand that 30+ years ago he managed to plead to lesser charges, but he ADMITTED to having sex with a child, full well knowing she was 13. The reason he was arrested is because he is a FUGITIVE from the law.
Comment by Sarah on September 30, 2009 at 11:20 am
I’m glad you put this out there, Nic. Noone who hasn’t been raped can know what the words and connotations spewed from Whoopi meant to you. We just don’t know. I just don’t know.
One thing is for certain. Rape is rape. There is no in between.
I’m proud of you for writing this.
Comment by Noelle on September 30, 2009 at 11:21 am
I am shocked and disgusted and saddened by Whoopi’s view on this. I bet she’d be singing a whole other song if it was her 13-year-old grand-daughter.
Comment by knoxvillepixie on September 30, 2009 at 11:29 am
Nic, you’re fucking awesome. Thanks for using your voice for those of us who haven’t found our own yet…
XOXO
Comment by Jessica on September 30, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Let me say I think there is no such thing as ‘rape light’ but saying that statutory rape is ‘rape’ isn’t true in all cases. My best friend was charged with it because he was 18 and his girlfriend wasn’t. Her parents turned him in on his birthday, they never liked him much. THAT is not rape. That is consensual sex between peers. That clearly isn’t the case with this director, but not all statutory rape is rape.
Second, she was clarifying his charges. It wasn’t rape like adult on adult violence rape, it was statutory rape which has varied meanings. Rape, as an adult victim is a very different meaning. Statutory, you always wonder is he a perv or did he date someone in high school who was younger? I think all these people who agree are being too sensitive. I think you’re allowing your ’survivor’ status color your view. She was clarifying his CHARGES and what he plead guilty to. At no point does she say “oh sex with a minor and statutory rape aren’t REAL rape”. This is an unfair vilification of Whoopi.
All that said by someone who was ’statutory raped’ in high school because I dated an older boy. I’m glad you survived and are strong enough to share your story.
Comment by WeaselMomma on September 30, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I just read ‘your story’ and I couldn’t comment there. I can barely see for all the tears that are clouding my vision and know that this is not one/millionth of the pain you live with. I am so sorry that this happened to you, or happens to anyone, and for all the trauma that went through after the fact in the ‘investigation’. You are very brave to put your story out there and I can’t imagine how much you are helping others that you will never meet or know. I admire your courage.
Comment by Miki on September 30, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Jenni, I was stating the point of what Whoopi was SAYING, not what is TRUE. She was trying to explain to everyone what the law is saying he did, not the truth of what he did.
Pay attention, there might be a quiz.
Comment by PrincessJenn on September 30, 2009 at 12:35 pm
OK, I’ve seen this several times in the comments, so I’m going to say this again. RP was NOT convicted of rape. He was convicted of “unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor”.
THAT was the point Whoopi was trying to make.
Is it ‘essentially’ rape. Absolutely. But it’s not a charge with the word ‘rape’ in it. Telling the world on national television that someone was convicted of statutory rape when they weren’t will get you a nice libel suit. All she was trying to do is clarify that one point, not defend the guy.
Comment by Miki on September 30, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Thank you, PrincessJenn.
Comment by Amy in OHio on September 30, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Wow – I totally missed this. Don’t get to see The View much with work. But I am appalled. There is no grey line to be defended when a 45 year old has sex with a 13 year old. If rape is, as the psychologists tell us, based in power – there is no more fitting example than a 45 years old adult manipulating a 13 year old. Whoopi’s rape rape comments are shameful to indicate otherwise.
And here’s another thing Whoopi – what the other half of the world thinks about our laws and societal beliefs is quite irrelevant. Our laws stand and in the US, you get tried for acts against children. He broke the law, violated a child and should be punished.
Comment by LisaUnfiltered on September 30, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Everyone has already said what was going through my mind, except the person that defended Whoopi up there and tried to clarify her asinine comments.
Bravo Nic! I’ll drink my beer in honor of this post tonight!
Comment by angi on September 30, 2009 at 12:51 pm
There’s such a long line of people who can speak to a rape story. My first time was rape. Was I dating him? yes. Was a minor? yes Was he NOT a minor? yes Did I start off kissing him? yes. Did my teenage mind think I might want to have sex with him EVENTUALLY? yes. But that day, at that time, when my hands with my hands pinned down did I beg him over and over to stop? YES! There is NO such thing as “rape rape”.
My advice to Whoopi is to THINK before you SPEAK.
Comment by Mandi Bone on September 30, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Rape is rape. All women need to stand up and say that ANY rape is wrong.You are a brave gal for sharing your story.
Comment by Kelly on September 30, 2009 at 1:00 pm
To clarify – Whoopi also said “Would I want my 14 year old daughter having sex with somebody, not necessarily? Is it rape? I don’t know the answer to that.” And “we’re a different kind of society. We see things differently. The world sees 13-year olds and 14-year olds in the rest of Europe… not everybody agrees with the way we see things…”
So tell me again that she was explaining charges to all of us nimwits.
Comment by PsychMamma on September 30, 2009 at 1:04 pm
THANK YOU, Princess Jenn for saying again (and clarifying) what I was trying to say about 40 comments ago.
To summarize: Whoopi, me, Princess Jenn, Miki & Jessica **NOT** defending RP or what he did. Clarifying legal terms & how they’re used ONLY.
All of this worth a Hate-Whoopi-Bandwagon? Don’t think so.
Comment by Heather @ Sellers Gang Mama on September 30, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I just nearly threw up in my mouth. I can not believe Whoopi. I was already no longer a fan of hers for things she has said previously, but this really sealed the deal.
Comment by Miki on September 30, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I love reading idiotic comments.
Comment by Amy in OHio on September 30, 2009 at 1:05 pm
And I thought “sex with a minor” was automatically rape? A minor by law can’t consent and sex without consent is rape, no?
So what is Whoopi’s distinction here?
Comment by PrincessJenn on September 30, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Amy, it’s not Whoopi’s distinction. It’s the American law that has the distinction. There are several different levels of ‘rape’ unfortunately. It makes things very cloudy and vague. But the fact is ‘unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor’ is a different charge than ’statutory rape’ in the American judicial system.
Is it the same thing in the minds of the people? I would say so. Like everyone is saying: Rape is rape. But the courts don’t treat it as such.
Comment by PsychMamma on September 30, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Kelly –
She was “clarifying charges” when she used the term “rape rape.”
I think Whoopi’s point with the part about her 14 y/o daughter was that she may not want her to have sex with someone, but having sex at 14 (and RP’s CHARGE/PLEA of “sexual misconduct with a minor) might or might not be rape. That is, plenty of 14 y/o’s decide to have sex, but that doesn’t make it rape. Again, I think she was referring to the legal definition of “sexual misconduct with a minor” and ultimately saying “I don’t know the answer to whether or not it was rape” = wise admission that she/we may not have all the facts and it’s for the courts to decide.
Was she defending RP? No. Was she saying he shouldn’t stand trial for charges? NO. Was she saying let’s think objectively about this instead of responding with visceral emotions? YES.
Again, I think her words about the way the “rest of the world” sees this was in response to the large international support RP has been getting and trying to think objectively about why others might be standing up for him.
Was she agreeing with them? NO. Was she saying there might be other opinions that we don’t agree with? Yes.
Am *I* Disgusted with RP and what he did? ABSOLUTELY. Completely hoping that he has to face all legal charges just as anyone else would.
You think I don’t understand b/c I’m not a rape survivor? Think again. I AM A RAPE SURVIVOR. Just not jumping on the Hate-Whoopi-Bandwagon.
Comment by Nic on September 30, 2009 at 1:48 pm
ok, i’m going to ask that everyone take a deep breath and think before commenting. the last thing this discussion, this topic, this issue needs is more women hating on women.
disagreeing is one thing. insulting is another.
please feel free to continue this discussion and share your thoughts. but please do not insult one another.
Comment by Kelly on September 30, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I never mentioned anything about anyone being a survivor. I am talking about people apologizing or making excuses or using technicalities for what’s wrong. I don’t think you need to have been raped to understand, so I am extremely sorry if that’s how my point was taken.
In the transcripts of Polanksi’s trial, he admits he raped her. He then accepted a plea deal for a lesser charge. I don’t care what he was charged with. I care about what he did.
I see your point about Whoopi clarifying that no one should say on The View that RP is “charged with rape.” That is much different from saying “RP admitted to drugging and raping a child.” Because he did do that. And it’s on the record.
Lastly, I don’t hate Whoopi. I am saddened that someone with such a large audience argued technicalities of a charge — and spoke over others will more relevant things to say — thereby quashing the discussion altogether.
We should be talking about the fact that his man admitted to raping a child and then fled the country. We should be talking about the fact that he was able to plead down his case because a DA didn’t think they could effectively prosecute a man with connections.
We need to talk about these things — with level heads and without calling each other idiots — because little girls and little boys are still being raped today.
Comment by PsychMamma on September 30, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Kelly –
100% agree with you about what we should be talking about/focusing on.
Comment by Redneck Mommy on September 30, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I’m just so angry at Whoopi’s cavalier attitude. This was a CHILD for crying out loud. It doesn’t matter if the mom was an idiot or the dude was a famous director. A man drugged a CHILD, forced himself into her, sodomized her and she’s been victimized her entire life because of his inability to face his culpability.
Thank you for writing this. Whoopi can just take her ‘rape rape’ and stick it where the sun don’t shine.
Comment by kyslp on September 30, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I did not need another reason to love you but you’ve given me one anyway. (I’m sorry it had to come about this way.) I never was a fan of The View but now I will flat out boycott and spread the message to others. Will be FBing your post.
Comment by Nic on September 30, 2009 at 2:45 pm
@Kelly and @PsychMamma thank you for your respect and truth.
Comment by Shannon on September 30, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I just can’t get over thinking of what this girl (now woman) must be feeling when she sees all these people standing up to SUPPORT this man. I hope to God that she also sees how many of us are appalled and stricken for her.
Comment by Miki on September 30, 2009 at 6:55 pm
I still can’t believe that you all think Whoopi is okay-ing what RP did, and that she’s defending him. Pay attention, and listen to her. She’s NOT defending him, nor saying what he did is right and that it’s okay for him to get away with it. She’s stating what he’s being charged with. That is that. If they were to miscommunicate and say that he’s being charged with ‘rape’, they could get sued for false statements.
Comment by Heather on September 30, 2009 at 8:32 pm
As someone who was in a physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive relationship that almost killed me, I couldn’t agree with what you said more.
So, every time that my ex forced me to have sex with him, because we were together, was that not “rape-rape”? WTF is wrong with her?
She makes me physically ill, on more levels than one right now.
Pingback by The Voice of Unpopular Opinion on October 1, 2009 at 8:11 am
[...] Whoopi’s ‘rape-rape’ comment has brought out strong reactions in people. I get that. It’s an emotional topic. I stand by my opinion that she was merely clarifying the charge and the fact that Roman Polanski was convicted of “unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor” and not “statutory rape”. I don’t think she was defending him or saying he shouldn’t be charged. And please don’t leave me comments that ‘rape is rape’. Trust me I’m clear on that. If you’re angry about the distinction between the two charges then talk to your government and find out what you need to do to change the laws so that any sort of rape is prosecuted as such rather than being bargained down to lesser charges. [...]
Comment by Nickie on October 1, 2009 at 8:40 am
I don’t care how Whoopi defines it. Rape is rape. Whether ’statutory’… which by the way is fucking disgusting… that’s UNDERAGE which in my book constitutes MOLESTATION! Hello PEDOPHILE! Or does that not fall under her definition of ‘rape-rape’?
I don’t watch The View anyway, thank God. I don’t care to sit and listen to a bunch of opinionated women gossip over anything and everything…if I did, I could go to the local diner. Theirs is not quality television, which was obviously demonstrated perfectly by Whoopi’s comment.
Being a survivor of sexual MOLESTATION which is RAPE, I am disgusted by this. Disgusted actually doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Pingback by well hellooooo lovely… @ My Bottle’s Up on October 1, 2009 at 10:39 am
[...] too excited about the ultra-loopy pain killers, ya know, given the whole being drugged and “rape raped” [...]
Comment by Ain't Yo Mama's Blog on October 1, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Great post! Seriously, where is the outrage…especially from women!?! It’s shocking that are so many people, let alone women, defending a child rapist. Thanks for sharing your story.
Comment by Baby in Broad on October 1, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I feel the need to echo what you and other commenters have said, because I’m just ASTOUNDED that there seems to be confusion on this:
Statutory rape is rape. That’s why it’s called “statutory RAPE.”
Unbelievable.
Comment by Emma on October 1, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I’ve been wondering all week, from over here in the UK, why all these so called ’stars’ are coming out in support of a rapist. If you don’t mind I’m going to re-post this over at my blog as you put it more eloquently than I ever could. I don’t know where you find your courage from but you amaze me.
Pingback by Whoopi Goldberg is an idiot « Mayopie on October 2, 2009 at 9:04 am
[...] what’d she say? Well, you can watch the video here. I’d also like you to read the post that accompanies it and the next. You can do this now [...]
Comment by Audrey on October 2, 2009 at 10:01 am
Very well written. Whoopi makes me sick. Rape is rape. Period. End of discussion. Ugh.
Pingback by George’s Blog » Blog Archive » “Rape Rape” and Hollywood Shenanagins on October 5, 2009 at 2:35 pm
[...] post was prompted by a story on the blog “My Bottle’s Up,” written by the wonderful Nic. No TweetBacks yet. [...]
Comment by AmyBloob on October 6, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Oh my God Nic, I just read your story and started crying.
I was date raped when I was 18 and actually continued dating the guy because if I did, I somehow was convincing myself that I hadn’t been raped and my life was normal. Clearly Whoopi (who would get a serious ass “whooping” from me if I could get at her) wouldn’t call this “rape rape” either.
So proud of you for sharing your story and for standing up for women and girls everywhere who find themselves in these horrible situations. There’s no fine line when it comes to this kind of abuse. Seriously, does whoopi think there’s such a thing as “Murder murder” too?
Hugs
Boob
Comment by Cheryl on October 6, 2009 at 6:39 pm
I have come back to your website and various post of yours since I first read this last week. I kept putting off commenting, thinking the words that I was looking for would eventually come, but they haven’t. So instead I thought I’d settle for saying thank you for your bravery in sharing the rawest of feelings with us and for giving us pause to reflect.