ownership

39 comments

1. 

   Comment by Lorraine on October 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm

   Thank you for sharing such an honest post. It is very rare to come across a blog that strikes at the heart of a person. I felt your pain and disappointment as I read this and I wanted to give you a hug.

   I’ll admit that when I first read your post about what had happened with TSA and then watched TSA’s video, I doubted your story. I even tweeted about it. But now I have some sense of your honesty after reading this post. It shines through in your writing.

   I’m glad you’re still blogging away. It would a shame to lose you. Because, for heaven’s sake, we need more bloggers who’ll put themselves out there. And hopefully not be judged for it.

2. 

   Comment by Lisa on October 25, 2009 at 6:00 pm

   So glad to see you back. Glad to have you back

   Thinking about you and sending you hugs.

3. 

   Comment by Amber on October 25, 2009 at 7:34 pm

   Still here thinking of you and knowing you can make it through this. Forget all those who spew hate your way. You know what happened to you and your baby and for anyone else to pass judgement on that is all on them.

4. 

   Comment by Lori on October 25, 2009 at 8:57 pm

   Just wanted to say that I believe you. I never underestimate the asstasticness of government, and I’m sorry that happened to you. Hugs.

5. 

   Comment by Christy B. on October 25, 2009 at 9:49 pm

   The story is yours until YOU ask people to get involved. YOU made it about other people. YOU involved your son. YOU asked people to spread the story. YOU asked people to contact the TSA.

   If you really truly believe that what you wrote was an accurate portrayal of what happened, then I hope you have the courage to seek help.

   If you believe that you have the right to meld fiction and non-fiction then state that in your bio and add it as a disclaimer to EVERY thing you write: “All or parts of the following may or may not be true” – then, nobody has any room for complaint.

   After the blogging break you took, you still chose to deflect responsibility on everyone else. It’s hard but taking responsibility for yourself is very liberating – you might want to try it.

   You still are not publishing your phone records when it would be so simple.

   What’s really sad about all of this is that you are a VERY talented writer.

6. 

   Comment by Sulako on October 26, 2009 at 4:58 am

   There’s a real difference between “sharing my truth” and “posting it as the truth”, one which you casually brush aside. It’s like you are saying “Well, in my mind my kid was taken from me, so that’s all that counts” even when that wasn’t what actually happened. Near the end of your post you remark about social media, and how it’s not necessarily the truth, and it appears you are using that as a crutch, saying “Sure I made a bunch of stuff up and embellished another bunch of stuff, but I shouldn’t be held accountable, because everyone knows this is semi-fiction. Nope, not good enough – if you are going to post a story that you have added a bunch of stuff to, perhaps a disclaimer near the beginning like “These events may or may not be based on reality, so keep that mind” rather than “THE TSA STOLE MY BABY. THEY REALLY DID!” etc, which leads people to believe that you are actually reporting facts rather than embellishments.

   You don’t get a free pass on this, and for all your verbosity I still don’t see any actual ownership of the pain that your actions have caused – I see a lot of deflection, but not a whole lot of taking responsibility, which would involve apologizing to the many people who stuck up for you and got beaten down by the facts, and by your willingness to pass “your truth” off as “the truth”. That’s true ownership, not this “my dog ate my homework” version you just posted.

7. 

   Comment by Ally on October 26, 2009 at 5:54 am

   When you make your thoughts public, people have a right to respond – especially if your false allegations impact them. And yes, when you make false allegations, it affects all the people who have true and very real trouble with the TSA. False stories, the boy/girl who cried wolf – who willpay attention when it’s the real thing? Be responsible that your made-up stories have very real, detrimental effects on other people. This is your blog. But it’s not just about you. Own this. It’s your responsibility.

8. 

   Comment by PsychMamma on October 26, 2009 at 8:49 am

   Hmm…..ownership? Here’s what I’m struggling with.

   You wrongfully accused innocent people who were simply doing their (underpaid, stressful, full of grief) jobs of something that seriously could have affected their lives and their livelihoods. And you have to own that.

   You asked all of us to rally with you to contact news sources, to RT at Twitter, and to be outraged. Essentially, you were rallying others to disparage and hurt individuals and an organization, based on a lie. And you have to own that.

   (Those first two are the ones that bother me most)

   You seem to have done it for attention or the possibility of money. I get what you’re saying about the nature of Twitter & comments of 140 characters of less. But I can’t “write off” these words from a tweet: “PAY ME FOR MY INSANITY… MWAHAHAHAHAHA….” Not because of those words in particular, but because there were MULTIPLE, similar tweets, like this one “i’m not posting shit. i’m writing a piece to be published much more widespread than my blog” or this one: “full story can’t be posted on my blog…..publishers want it” or this one: “eh, i can put it on my blog, but get paid if someone picks up my story.” You have to own that.

   You said they took your son. They took him away from you and out of your sight for 10 minutes. But, they didn’t. We’ve seen the videos. If you would have said they detained you unfairly and treated you rudely, we would have rallied and supported. But it would have been SO different. Saying that someone took your child is a very. serious. allegation. You tweeted EIGHTEEN TIMES that TSA took your son. But, they didn’t. You said (quoting from a tweet) “i was in a plastic case closet w/6 holes to speak to whoever had my son around a corner & in another plastic case that I couldn’t see.” But they didn’t. You have to own that.

   You said you made two calls in that time that Magoo was away from you. But you didn’t and he wasn’t, according to the videos. Is it unreasonable for people to ask for a screen shot or photo of your phone’s “Calls Made/Sent”? I don’t think so. You have to own what you said.

   I don’t hate you. Far from it. I feel very sad for you and worried about you. But I can’t trust you, and I’m sad and sorry about that. I can’t continue to follow someone that I’ve now seen go down paths that I’d rather not travel. Remember the story of the little boy who cried wolf? It didn’t end well.

   You have to own everything you say. You can’t pick and choose.

   I wish you well. I wish you peace.

9. 

   Comment by Amanda on October 26, 2009 at 9:34 am

   To quote:
   as far as social media is concerned, they call it social media for a reason. it’s social. it’s not news. it’s sometimes fact and sometimes fiction and sometimes a variance in between.

   No Nic, *this* was not social media versus news. You admitted in your tweets that you wanted exposure – you admitted in your tweets that you were looking to sell the story. Those are facts. If they weren’t facts then you shouldn’t have said them in this situation. I do not believe, for one minute, that they were said in jest. You know it, I know it. That is where you crossed the line in my opinion.

   It’s one thing to ‘add on’ to an already funny story for a little more dramatic effect – it’s quite another to scream in all caps – THE TSA TOOK MY SON.

   You invited this – you egged it on and, unfortunately, you are now dealing with the aftermath.

   What I think is the saddest of all if that you never have written the truth or even acknowledged that there were parts of the story that were, say untrue, say over the top – I don’t care – they are all just word of the same meaning. Okay, you ‘own it’ – but the people who caught up in it ‘own’ nothing except the desire to help you when they thought that you were in need of help.

   *This* is the issue Nic.

10. 

    Comment by kim on October 26, 2009 at 9:35 am

    I didn’t know of your blog before the ‘incident’ – but I what I’ve read here makes me want to come back. I do know what it’s like to lose friends, trust, etc. and even though part of me feels like “if that’s the way they feel, I don’t need them in my life anyway” it still hurts. Sorry for all the drama.

    kim

11. 

    Comment by Maria on October 26, 2009 at 11:33 am

    I was very much willing to stand beside you, to support you. I reached out. I worried about you with all my heart.

    You betrayed that trust and support when you made this about–blamed–others and truly failed to take ownership for the way you acted by asking all of us, repeatedly, to share your story and spread awareness on your behalf.

    If at any time you doubted that things went down EXACTLY as you described them, you had no right to present your story as truth, to ask us to RT, to ask us to contact media outlets.

    I refuse to operate under the assumption that my friends are embellishing, lying, or in any other way obscuring the truth when they blog. Social media is NOT fiction.

    I am extremely disappointed. You could have TRULY owned this. Instead I see a pile of excuses, defensiveness, and clever words obscuring the heart of the matter. I can only assume you’re protecting yourself, but honestly? Blaming us for not believing you is a bit much.

    The people who cared about you would have supported you if you hadn’t turned it all around on them.

12. 

    Comment by Swistle on October 26, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    I don’t understand what “my own truth” means. It seems like the term is “THE truth,” as in, “No, I was telling the truth.” I assume “my own truth” means something different. What it SOUNDS like it means when people say it is “the truth I made up.”

    And I think only deities should ask people to believe in their stories as a matter of faith, against all evidence to the contrary.

    I wish you would just say, “I was really upset that day, and I exaggerated because I thought it would effectively communicate the level of upsetness I felt. In fact, it turned out I lied, and lied big. And I’m really sorry: I’m sorry to TSA, and I’m sorry to all the people I lied to, and I’m particularly sorry to all the people who believed me and now have to bandage up their trust. And I’m also really sorry I compounded everything by lying about lying. I was scared and incredibly embarrassed and didn’t know what to do.”

    Well, I don’t wish you’d say it if it’s not the truth, of course.

13. 

    Comment by thepsychobabble on October 26, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    I would submit that once you involve others in sharing and spreading your story, your story is no longer solely yours. You can’t ask others to share your pain and outrage, then turn around and say, “This has nothing to do with you!” It doesn’t work like that.

    Other people took on what you posted (as truth, not “my experience”) and they believed you, they supported you, they rallied to action. So to say now, that it has nothing to do with them, is a wee bit ludicrous.

    You speak of ownership in your post, but I missed the part where you owned your own actions. Not once have I seen you own the fact that your story matches up to video footage of the incident only in the vaguest way. Not once have I seen you own the contradictions in your posts on this story.

    This isn’t about social media vs. news. This is about someone presenting something as though it were truth, when it was not.

    The really sad part is that, watching the video, there would have been support and outrage based on the actual incident. Without having to accuse them of separating you from your child. The public could have seen yet another example of the faux security provided by the TSA.

    But your dishonesty has now become the focus, and the shoddy TSA procedures are mere footnotes.

14. 

    Comment by Amber on October 26, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    We watch the show “Survivor”. Last week one of the competitors fainted in the middle of a strenuous challenge. The challenge was stopped and the medics called in. He regained consciousness but was very disoriented. Then he fainted a second time just trying to sit up and oh boy, it was scary to see. His eyes went blank and the medics were hitting his chest and shouting his name. And you know…he looked like he was dying, he really did. The host made the decision to take him out of the show altogether and he was sent to the hospital.

    He recovered but was very bitter about being taken off the show. Because in his mind, he had only been a little dizzy. He was furious that they’d taken him out. It wasn’t until months later, when he watched that episode at home with his family that he finally realized how serious his condition had been. Until he saw it with his own eyes, he’d had no idea it had been that serious.

    So he apologized to the host, Jeff Probst, for having been so angry about the decision to take him out. He and his family can clearly see on the tape how ill he was and how taking him out had been the right decision after all.

    I bring this up because it seems to me that a similar thing happened with you. You blew out of proportion an incident at the airport that upset you very much. I hate dealing with TSA too, I understand how upsetting it is to be treated like cattle being herded along, like criminals, when we haven’t done anything wrong. I also understand that sometimes we can become so overwhelmed during emotionally charged events that our recollection later can be wildly flawed.

    But unlike the Survivor cast member, you are NOT looking at the evidence afterwards and admitting your perceptions were off. You are still stubbornly clinging to what you wrote and what you remember, regardless of the video which shows exactly what happened.

    If you really want to “own up”, to yourself, to those around you, then you owe the TSA, your friends and anyone who read your blog as the truth a real apology. Not another attempt at skirting around the issue like this post and your last one but an plain, outright, “Yes, I screwed up, I remembered events differently than the reality, I can see that now and I’m sorry I made accusations that were untrue.”

    We’re all human, we all screw up sometimes. Admitting it is a big step towards healing.

15. 

    Comment by Rebecca on October 26, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    As I have said on other blogs, something MUST have happened to provoke such an outspoken post. I wasn’t there so I have no idea.

    Also, there are as many sides to a story as those who experienced the story, and then there is the truth. Nothing is 100% true. Ever.

    I like reading your blog. Give it another day or two and the next big story will take everyone’s minds off this and then they will be leaving nasty comments to someone else and you can sit back and say “Yep, I’ve been there!”

16. 

    Comment by Erin on October 26, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    I’m…not sure what to make of all this. I get that our memories aren’t always the most reliable sources, especially in high-stress situations. And you were certainly in a high-stress situation.

    But what I don’t get is the pussyfooting around. I don’t understand why you don’t have answers to some questions. This is a big thing to have lied about, if lying is what you did. And it makes me wonder if you’ve lied about other big things too. That’s not being a hater; that’s the reaction of someone who believes her trust may have been broken.

    The best way to clear it all up? Say what actually happened. The truth. And not “this was what was true to me at that time,” but “these are the facts, and I acknowledge them.”

17. 

    Comment by avasmommy on October 26, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    All the comments above me say everything I’m thinking, but I’ll add my thoughts here.

    You could have let it go. Walked away and not uttered another word on the subject. You could have acknowledged that your actions caused other people pain. Tried to right that. But no. You play the victim. You make it all about you. It’s not all about you, and hasn’t been since the first word you typed, the first plea for support, the first tweet to ask for help.

    By involving us, you made it about us. To ask us to own our own actions and words is fine, but it seems you’re unwilling to do the same.

    It makes me sad. It makes me angry. For myself as well as everyone else hurt by this fiasco.

    Why would you jeopardize and destroy friendships that could have flourised and grown? If at any point, you’d have come to us and said “I made it up” told the TRUTH, we might have been able to salvage a friendship. But you chose to keep playing the victim. Everyone is out to get you. It’s all our fault for believing the pictures before our very own eyes? No.

    Some of us chose to cut ties, yes. I doubt anyone who did, did so casually. But when it comes right down to it, there must not have been much there to begin with if you were willing to imperil it so easily.

18. 

    Comment by Carolyn on October 26, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    I understand you were upset and angry about being delayed. I watched all the videos and saw your son in your sight for the entire experience. I kept waiting for them to ‘take your son’. So sure you own your experience but can you really look at those tapes and think they ‘took your son’? The only thing the TSA did wrong, in my opinion, was to not let you remove the pacifier clip and do the walk through again. I see them do that all the time. However, since you were obviously mistaken about them taking your son away, it’s hard for me to believe you asked to remove the pacifier and try again.

    I’m sorry you had a bad time in the airport and I hope next time you will have someone with you to help you deal with the stress. When I traveled with my small child, I packed as much as possible in the checked baggage and took a little as possible through security. It helped.

19. 

    Comment by Bee on October 26, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    From what I’ve seen and what I’ve heard, from the things I’ve read and from the backlash and hateful, angry responses, all I have to say is this.

    In my experiences with TSA, and with other groups of that nature, bullshit is often spouted for the sake of saving face. The video didn’t show you on the phone. I, as a fellow blogger and someone who chooses to believe, however naively, that you had some truth to your story, feel that the video did not show the entire story. Shoddy camera shots that blipped from one side to the next and the way I and others I know have been treated by the very fucked up TSA procedures lead me to believe that what happened here was not your fault, and that even if you did exaggerate from anxiety or panic attacks, you were the victim here, not the girl who cried wolf. I’m ashamed to say that I’m a blogger when so many of them turn their backs in an incident like this where all kinds of ridiculous, unproven fodder is provided by unreliable sources.

    I still stand behind you and beside you.
    Hugs for sweet, precious Magoo, and remember that there are still some of us who’re on your side.

20. 

    Comment by Julie on October 26, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    You screwed up. Big time. You lied and you got caught. You asked others to support you in your lie. Stop willyniggling with fancy sentence structure, stop looking for loopholes that make you look less of a fool, and stop perpetuating the original lie with more shadowy references to video that remains unseen. Every time you post this codswallup you make yourself less and less legitimite. I am sure you’ve hardened yourself up some so as to get through a rough period. The outrage from unknowns and trolls should be water off a duck’s back to you. The hurt that you inflicted upon your friends should be something you address. You hurt them because they cared about you. Internet friendships, real life friendships … they are treasured things and not to be shrugged off like yesterday’s dirty clothes. They mattered to you once. Make it matter again by telling your friends you are sorry for what you did. Do it on your blogspace, do it privately, tattoo it on your forehead and post the pic … doesn’t matter how, just … do it. Honor your friends and the friendships and I am sure there will come a time when old burned down bridges can be rebuilt and safely crossed again. It would a monumental class act to lend dignity to what were very real feelings between friends.
    All that being said, I find myself strangely compelled to hope for your success. Who amongst us hasn’t screwed the pooch a time or two? Some of us don’t take it to the level of inviting an audience to watch said blunder, but it feels like the eyes of the world are upon us just the same. Best wishes.

21. 

    Comment by Two Makes Four on October 26, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    Disclaimer: I’m a nobody on the internet and my response holds no weight on anything. The following might mean nothing to you.

    So.

    I HATE to think that you would blog and outcry about something so serious and it not be true. I honestly can’t fathom lying about something like that without any regret or hesitation. Embellishing my reactions for comedic effect? Yup, I do it all the time, but I generally acknowledge that I’m a sarcastic wacko. But man….I could not lie or embellish about something super-serious that happens to my kids. I would never do it, so I have trouble believing that someone I trust could do that.

    Then I saw the videos and REALLY REALLY looked for something suspicious that would indicate that TSA had tampered with the footage somehow. And I pretty much didn’t see it. So then I was like, dang. This is not good.

    At this point, I don’t feel the anger of some responses, though I get where they’re coming from and feel like I should respond that way too. I definitely agree that owning up to a mistake will get you a lot further than you think. People are surprisingly forgiving when you’ve fucked up and just own up to it rather than trying to make excuses or evade confrontation.

    Honestly, if I knew you IRL, I would probably shun you. The separation of the internet vs. flesh-to-flesh knowing gives me a buffer, I guess.

    So if you want to know how a lame-ass nobody feels, then I would say that, based on evidence, I’m forced to take what you say with a grain of salt from here on out. Actually, I kind of feel forced to take everything you’ve previously written with a grain of salt. But I’ll probably still check in now and again.

    I’ll also leave open that I’ll keep looking for evidence to the contrary. My judgment right now might not be accurate. Just going by what I know so far.

    Typical Aquarius, right here.

    You’re obviously talented. Whether or not that talent gets you in trouble is something else.

22. 

    Comment by Mariah on October 27, 2009 at 9:28 am

    I’m confused, by like another commenter said, the next big story will hit in a few days and this will be over…

    Sadly, Blogging, The internet, Twitter and Social Media brings about more drama than good these days. I for one hope it will pass.

    As far as your story… It’s like divorce, there is always a he said, a SHE said and THE truth. None of us really know anything, none of us were there.

23. 

    Comment by Miss Grace on October 27, 2009 at 9:43 am

    I don’t hate you. I don’t even dislike you.

    But I can’t trust you anymore, now that that bond of trust has been broken.

    And trust is the foundation for all my friendships.

    I wish you all the best, whatever that may be.

24. 

    Comment by Brandy on October 27, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    It’s really too bad that some peole have nothing better to do than kick a person when she’s down. I too believe something must have happened beyond what the “evidence” is showing. I hope Nic that you are able to take some deep breaths and continue on without letting this blip derail you. Really-in 5 years is all of this going to matter? Simply, and thankfully, NO. Best of luck to you.

25. 

    Comment by Cheryl@SomewhatCrunchy on October 27, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    One of my favorite quotes:

    “The great thing about TRUTH is that it’s always TRUE. It doesn’t change over time, smear when it gets wet or stretch when it’s pulled. Its constant, unchanging, inflexible and ageless.” -Todd Wilson

    Blessings

26. 

    Comment by Out-Numbered on October 27, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    You know what Nic? You’re right. It isn’t personal. People should be able to step away and worry about their family and not your blog. I love you and I’m glad to see you writing again… Like Arnold, I’ll be back.

27. 

    Comment by Amy @ Taste Like Crazy on October 27, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    When I left my comment on your original post, I was quite literally crying – almost sobbing.

    I had read your tweets. I shared them with Tucker and we were both beyond pissed for you because you are a fabulous writer and you have a talent for putting your reader RIGHT THERE.

    Our truth was that we could imagine what our responses would have been if we had been you and if your baby had been Ollie or Cara. We had a visceral reaction to your post and YOUR truth suddenly became OURS.

    And then the TSA videos came out. I was one of those people who got the link in a DM on Twitter. Hell, I didn’t even know TSA had a blog.

    I watched the videos.

    I followed along with my memory of your post and was stuck dumb when things didn’t line up with what you had written.

    I didn’t know what to think but I knew what I FELT and I felt duped and I felt silly and I felt used and above all, I felt sad.

    Sad because I believed you and I literally felt for you – I empathized with you in the truest sense of the word.

    I don’t trust implicitly [my hang-up, not yours]. My trust has to be earned and I sincerely trusted you. We’ve talked on Twitter and on Five Star Friday and that’s more of a connection that most get on the internet.

    I’m not “disowning” you or never reading your blog again because you’re good and I still want to talk to you.

    However, I don’t think I can take your words at face value right now.

    One day, I hope to.

28. 

    Comment by Lisa on October 28, 2009 at 2:51 am

    I am new to your blog. I started reading it after the TSA incident. I feel bad that people have so much anger and hatred toward you. I mean honestly how did this hurt so many people? They are acting like they marched straight to Washington and demanded to see the President to help you resolve your issue. This is something that people read on the Internet for Pete’s sake. Joe is your blog going to affect the rest of the angry people’s lives? It’s not, I’m pretty sure. I doubt anybody out there is losing sleep over it but they certainly want you to lose sleep and feel bad when your awake with their hateful emails, comments and responses. My opinion, forget them all. If they are so quick to judge and want to form opinions about a situation that they don’t know for sure what happened one way or the other then they were never really friends to begin with. I look forward to reading your blog in the future, I hope you can put all this behind you and continue to entertain us with your blog whether factual or fictional or a little bit of both. Good luck, keep your chin up, it will all pass soon enough.

    Sincerely,
    Your new and less judgemental reader, Lisa

29. Pingback by It’s like highschool except with blogs | CulturalSavage on October 28, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    [...] And here is her post responding to the week long mess: Ownership. [...]

30. 

    Comment by Anne Y on October 28, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    What pisses me off the most is that you made all of us who continued to support you look like complete and total asses. I tweeted, I retweeted, I contacted affiliates of the media on your behalf via Twitter and email only to have everything turned around and found myself defending my own actions for supporting someone I thought was a friend, someone whose words I could trust.

31. 

    Comment by Taya on October 28, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    I’m a newer reader myself, and while I may have an opinion about the story in the blog not matching up with the videos, I do realize that there are always two versions of every story. Whether or not the blog was the total truth isn’t the issue here, in my opinion.

    I personally find fault in all of the people who are so very angry about the fact that they “tweeted, retweeted, and contacted news media” about this. This post is all about ownership – doesn’t anyone own their own actions anymore? How many times are rumors started, and celebrities reported as dead or injured before it is retracted? Everything online should be taken with a grain of salt and researched, because the emotions of one person can definitely skew parts of a story and cause them to remember things differently. It’s like checking snopes before forwarding an email about a “free computer” or “child with cancer”. Sadly, even Amber Alerts have been faked. The online world is not all filled with complete truth, and people need to figure that out and take responsibility for the fact that they have made themselves feel “duped, and silly” for not doing some research before spreading more rumors.

    I think people need to stop taking all of their frustration out on Nic, and maybe start thinking about their own supporting role in the drama that unfolded. And sorry, but the excuse that “she brought me into this by asking me to pass the word along” doesn’t hold up. You are responsible for your own actions, she didn’t hold a gun to your head and force you to tell people about her story.

32. 

    Comment by taya on October 28, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    taya,
    people tweeted & retweeted & contacted media outlets because the author of this blog asked people, through twitter to do it. we are upset because it makes *us* look foolish for spreading something that wasn’t true-because the writer of this FICTITIOUS story asked us to. when you get to know someone through social media, you gain trust…to those of us that feel that social media is a village where we gather to talk, socialize, help each other, get people through traumatic times, i think the village feels kicked squarely in the jaw.

33. 

    Comment by emily bilbrey on October 29, 2009 at 2:29 am

    hello, nic! i found your blog last month when reading through comments on straight from the bottle, and have really enjoyed reading your past stories and seeing photos of your beautiful son. i felt compelled to stop by and say good for you for standing your ground in during the (ridiculous) adversity you are facing. it sounds like you went through a terrible ordeal at the airport – when i told your story to my husband he actually said he would have “flipped a shit, and maybe socked someone in the jaw” if that had happened to us and our baby daughter. i find it a shame to hear that so many people are throwing judgment and hatred your way on this – because seriously, why the HELL would anyone make up or embellish a situation like that? it’s clear from reading your posts from around the time that event took place, and from the post itself, that your facts are accurate and what the tsa did was unbelievably fucked up. i’m truly sorry to read that you’re being doubted and criticized. it just adds insult to injury, and it’s undeserved…

    the other day while i was stopped at an intersection, a drifter-looking woman crossed in front of my car. she was staring at me the whole time, and it really creeped me out (i’m wary of the public on the whole to being with). as she got closer to my car, i realized she was TOO close and she was coming around to my passenger-side door. i screamed at her to get away (which terrified my 6 month old daughter who was riding in the backseat) and scrambled to lock my doors. i could then hear the sound of my door handle jiggling. SHE TRIED TO OPEN MY CAR DOOR. with my baby in the backseat. i was able to pull away, thank god, but i was shaking, crying, terrified, terrified…

    i mention this because, for one thing, it scared the everliving shit out of me and it’s all i can think about lately. and for another, if i told that story on my blog or to anyone personally, and had it doubted or judged, i seriously don’t know what i would do. it would be awful. it would be so sad. it would make me hate the people who threw the judgment my way. i probably wouldn’t want anything to do with the public for a long time. so, i hope things regarding your awful ordeal and the malicious spectators which insued get better soon. at least know that there’s one more person (albeit a total stranger) who has your back and is sending good ju-ju your way. take care lady! i’ll be reading and supporting! (-:

34. 

    Comment by Heather @ Sellers Gang Mama on October 29, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Nic,

    I am not outraged like so many others. I recognize that in any situation where there are several people involved there are different versions of the story. I know that the video doesn’t really line with your blog post and frankly, I don’t care. I will still read your blog and I will still comment. If you lied then you lied. Everybody lies sometime, we must learn to forgive each other.

    I am sorry to hear that you have lost friendships. Maybe you will gain new ones and strengthen the old ones that stay with you.

    I can imagine how hurtful all of this has been over the last week and I am sorry for your pain.

    Love to you and yours,
    Heather

35. 

    Comment by Lorrie on October 29, 2009 at 9:43 am

    I feel sorry for all you sorry ass people who are taking this so personally. Get a life!! I do not know any of you and I guess I am glad I don’t. If you can get so upset about someone writing something on their blog true or not, than you need to find another outlet for your sad life. If it is a lie, so be it. It does not involve you. If it isn’t a lie than shame on you hateful people.

36. 

    Comment by Special C on October 29, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Oh Sake!! I LOVE reading your blog. I can’t believe others have told you that they are going to stop over this. You are an amazing writer and extremely creative friend. I treasure it. It reminds me of Mikata nights…oh how wonderful those were I say again I LOVE keeping up with you and reading your blog. Don’t dispair!!!

37. 

    Comment by Paula Pfau on October 29, 2009 at 11:53 am

    I saw the video, read part of your blog and I believe that what you wrote is the truth. Times have changed and unfortunately the airport employees hold a lot of power. It is such a shame people are treated like you were. But I know from experience that some things you just have to let go. You have to evaluate how important is this issue. Sometimes you have to weigh what might be lost in order to win. Remember, the people who know and love you are the ones who are important. It is not important what other people think. There is so much going on in the world this will be forgotten in the media tomorrow. It is just a matter of what can you live with. You have to pick and chose your battles. This will be one of those events that will add to your character. You are Taurus so I know you are strong. So my advice to you is be smart!

38. 

    Comment by Shannon on October 29, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    Hi, Nic.
    Okay, hadn’t followed you before all this. I got RT’d on twitter when you were originally posting the story about your son. I read it and was completely outraged that something like that could happen to a mother. I didn’t follow anything that happened after that, although I thought about you and your son over the next few days until I saw your story on the main page of aol today and watched the video.
    –Now before you stop reading, I’m not here to bash you or judge you. I will get past the yucky stuff first to get to my point.– I have to admit after I watched the video and read back on Twitter and read your following blog entries, I was a little mad. I felt for all of us that had read the story and been “duped” into believing something that appeared to be completely contrived. I also felt sad for your friends who had rallied behind you. BUT, after watching the video a few more times (I know, nothing better to do-quarantined with the flu) I really started having a completely different outlook on the whole thing.
    I thought of all of the times I had something scary and horrible happen to me and I couldn’t think of a single time I didn’t over-exaggerate a little. I didn’t do it on purpose, the whole thing just had me so shook up that everything seemed worse than it was. Ask anyone who was in an auto accident to tell you the story, everyone gets a little dramatic when something like that is happening. Anyone who denies THAT is lying.
    That said, I do believe you were wronged on MANY levels.

    -You should have been allowed to remove whatever set off the machine and allowed to re-enter. But of course, on the other hand, a lot of people are selected for extensive screening without setting the machines off, so I guess that goes hand-in-hand with traveling.

    -The plastic box seems extremely embarrassing. I can’t believe they put you in that for as long as they did, holding the baby (they may be small but they get heavy quick!). I have never seen one of those at my airport and boy, would there be trouble if they put me in there!

    -Most importantly, after reviewing the tape several times, this was my biggest problem: A good portion of the time your son IS OUT OF YOUR SIGHT. Just like you said. Maybe no one “took” him from you, but he is out of your sight, in an AIRPORT with several strangers walking by. Although you are only about 5 feet away, this is still terrifying as a mother. What no one seems to point out is a little metal divider separating you from your son. Although you put your son in his stroller yourself and knew he was right next to you, you had no idea if he was still there once you sat down, because of the divider. Which you can clearly see in the video. Once you stood up to get wanded, you could probably see him again (which must have been a relief) but what about the times you were turned around while you were being wanded? The lady clearly could have just walked around to the other side to wand you but even though you are blurred out you can tell she has you turn your back to your son, alone in his stroller for several minutes. I would have FREAKED OUT. I also suffer from anxiety attacks and know that reality does get distorted during the attacks. Even if I didn’t though, I still would have been too shook up to get the story out correctly.

    -I think it was incredibly outrageous for the TSA to post that video all over the internet. I do understand that you had inadvertently slandered them, but they could have contacted you first and said, “Hey, you and I both know that those events didn’t happen like you said. Please correct your account of the events because if you don’t we have some pretty damning video evidence that could really effect you negatively.” I think they posted some rather private footage of you all over the internet just to clear their names. I understand them showing this in court or to law enforcement to clear themselves of your harsh accusations, but throwing it up all over the internet seems more like a way to humiliate you in some childish “eye for an eye” sort of way. I don’t think it’s professional AT ALL.

    Now I am not clearing you of what you did, because you obviously did a lot wrong. I do think a lot of the story was dramatized or even an outright lie, but I don’t think you intended it to be that way. I think you were very upset and what came out, unfortunately came out in a big way.

    I do think you owe it to your friends to apologize for getting them so involved in something that you may have embellished a tad too much. You also owe them an apology for saying that this was your “private matter” when you clearly understand that you had many of them deeply involved. Own up to things a little better than you have –which really you haven’t done well although I know you’ve tried. You don’t need to do this for me, or anonymous, or any other person who found you via some article on the internet, you need to do this for your friends. Although, it’s really none of my business. I’m actually sorry I’ve even written this now, but I want you to know that there are some of us out there that support you. I do support you, and I am sorry for the few paragraphs of this that may have been unpleasant. I am probably one of the few that believes the TSA owes YOU an apology. I really do think that. Take care, I look forward to reading you in the future.

39. 

    Comment by Jennifer on October 30, 2009 at 2:12 am

    Some of us think about a more dangerous world out there, and understand the government has afforded us the luxury of not having to look at that dangerous world if we choose not to. Looking at Nic through my eyes, I see an attention seeking troubled mother who has decided to use her child to gain sympathy, in the “security theater” of the TSA. Such a bad idea, we’re witnessing the consequences. I hope that lost friendships and bad rep is the only thing she is suffering, she’ll be very very lucky if they do not prosecute her on some charge. How do you know the calls they’ve been making to her is not about that? How do you REALLY know that she isn’t going to get mail from their lawyers in a couple of weeks after they’ve worked on it? I’m not deliberately trying to scare, i’m bringing up ideas that challenge your notions of the world, to think outside your box. Maybe to put some fear into all of us to think twice before you fulfill some fantasy out on a federal government agency.

    The fact that they showed video when one is really not allowed to take photos of the checkpoints shows how seriously they took this.

    You can see Nic is, well, pissed off, and the length of time it took to get to her is obviously a case of a busy checkpoint during a recession when governtment staff is being cut everywhere to save money. She hardly looks like a victim. Her agitation likely caused the screening to take longer than usual, from spite or from suspicion, who knows. If TSA are power hungry, why feed them, just be an informed traveller and make no sudden movements! And here is a very important point you should think about, she takes off some sort of knee brace, maybe it was therapy magnetic, maybe it had metal in it, but it obviously alarmed. She keeps saying it was the childs pacifier clip or something, but it was the brace thingie because it the screener became aware of it while doing the metal detection wand process. So, how do we know that she didn’t wear that durn brace on purpose? Why didn’t she “own” that she had a metal brace on and that caused her to beep in her posts? What I sense is that Nic’s got the crazies from being a mom, it happens, it’s normal, and wanted some excitement and sympathy and revenge and she put that leg thing on on purpose.

    Moms always have an advantage of having the benefit of the doubt, but to the big bad wolf, that flies out the window. She tried to satisfy some craving she had without thinking hard on the consequences, like a bazillion video cameras, DUH, and I think her gift to us is that she educated many of her women friends on this lesson. They won’t make the same mistake, no matter how troubled their lives are. It wasn’t nice, she shouldn’t have taken advantage of TSA like that, and tried to get her screeners in trouble. They might be mom’s too, where is the sympathy for this lying wench who nearly lost them their jobs. What if their had been no video camera’s, they would have suffered inquiries and stress.

    This isn’t only about her, which is what she’s made it to be, it’s about the community as well as abusing power. The tsa with the mistakes they make, and a mother with a tale of a stolen child.

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